Tying the Grudge Knot
by QoD-Dev
Summary: Oh I see now. Poor littler Dibbers, neglected as a smeet he longs for the attention he never got. Now as an adult he has the ability to please his father by taking on his legacy and establishing a family to provide for like a REAL man.' 'Zim'
1. Chapter 1

Wo! MEC is back! This time with a friend!

This story was role played out with The Smallest Invader and we decided we liked it so much we'd let you all enjoy our craziness too.

**Disclaimer:** Before I forget I do not own Invader Zim, nor will I ever! Which is sad...

**Warnings:** ZaDR, um... ZaDR... no i think that's about it. If a warning is needed in the future you can finid it about the chapter.

A/N: School is going for me and will be starting for TSI soon so if we are a little late in updateing... blame her. No I kid, blame the public educational system!

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Zim's breathing was heavy and his irken heart was beating loudly in his head. That Dib and his STOOpid para-whatever it was. It was getting increasingly hard, since Dib started becoming famous and getting funding from various TV channels and restaurants, to get away from the human with out some kind of big injury and this time was no exception.

He looked at the Dib-human, a small sense of victory creeping through him at the large scratches on his face, left by Zim's claws before it was quickly drowned out literally when it started to rain.

Dib grinned cheekily at Zim. A large stun-gun was re-charging in his hand. He pulled in closer to the Irken. "It hurts, doesn't it, Zim? The rain? Eating at your flesh like acid splashed in your eyes..." He continued walking closer to Zim, confident in his victory this time, and raising the gun to point at him. "One shot from this and you'll be immobile for at least thirty minutes thanks to those beautiful flesh wounds caused by the rain."

Zim's antennae perked up in alarm, but he held his ground, three of his mechanical spider legs still functional, should he need them. His teeth were clenched tight as he tried not to make a sound as the burning liquid fell onto his skin, making it impossible for him to spit out the come back he so wanted to.

The gun beeped three times. "Your time is up, Zim." The gun fired.

Zim tried to dodge, could have dodged had it not been for his foot getting caught on his broken spider leg and him practically falling into the blast.

Dib grinned and, not wasting any time gloating to an unconscious alien, snatched up the deflated Irken bridle-style and walked comfortably on towards home.

A short car-ride later, Dib carried the wounded and unmoving Zim up to his room, which already had a few human and stolen Irken technology on hand there. He tossed the wounded on his bed and turned to the equipment on a nearby table.

Zim clenched his eyes tightly as consciousness began to take hold of his mind once more. But he didn't WANT it to. He wanted to stay asleep, knowing that Dib had him now, he had to, and was probably going to do something incredibly horrible and humiliating to him and he REALLY didn't want to be awake for that.

Dib grinned winningly, snatching up some Irken tools from the table and moving over to Zim. He roughly shoved the other's shoulder onto the bed to where he was lying on his stomach. He leaned over, watching the pinned Zim in silent wonder.

Zim groaned, unable to keep himself asleep for any longer as he mumbled, "Get off... Dib... stink."

Dib sat comfortably on the small of Zim's back, taking the Irken tool in his free hand and popping off one of the three red lids on Zim's PAK.

"Not unless you make a deal with me." He began picking at the inside of Zim's PAK, knowing exactly what to do from the hours he spent studying the blueprints.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Zim asked, sounding a little panicked and his eyes went wide. He was starting to feel something like the ghost limb effect, there was no pain having Dib poke around in that essential piece of machinery on his back but he could feel pain anyway. "Stop that!"

A snap sounded, making Zim cringe. There went the three legs! He moved onto another pink lid, popped it open and did the same.

"I can kill you anytime I wish right now. You know that, right, Zim?"

Zim started trying to squirm away but found himself weak from not only the stun-gun and the burns all over his body but also from the panic he was feeling at having Dib at his pak. "S-stop it, leave my pak alone!"

"Here's the deal." -Snap!- "I won't deactivate your PAK- if, and ONLY if you do me this favor for a while. You have to agree to it first, though, before I'll tell you what it is." He snapped the last leg off along with any other weapons inside the pak, feeling proud of himself now.

Zim was shaking. His pride was telling him to tell Dib where to put his deal, his rational mind telling him to just let Dib kill him, after all what Dib had planned couldn't be good for him or the empire, while his fear was telling him he didn't want to die, that at least while he was a live there was still a chance of conquering Earth. Finally his fear won out and he said, "Alright, alright, I'll-I'll do you this 'favor'."

"Wonderful!" Dib sung merrily, pulling over a small device from the table and now installing it into the PAK.

"You see... I don't like you, as I'm sure you know... and you don't like me.. But-- I have this problem. I need you to pretend you're a chick so we can get married. Then after that, I don't really care, once we make a convincing couple that is. In exchange- I won't try to expose you, and you'll get to keep your life." The device was installed successfully. "If you try to back out of this at anytime, or try to even access your PAK without the right code, this bomb I placed in your PAK will kill you." Dib smiled victoriously.

Zim tensed. What the HELL did he just agree to!? "Marriage? Why in the name of Irk would you want to marry me? I'm sure there's some cheap female out there who would pretend to be your wife if you paid them enough!"

"So you disagree? Should I kill you now?" Dib asked, rolling off of the alien's back and onto the bed, looking a bit sad as he thought of all of the women who already wanted to marry him.

Zim's eyes went wide again as he thought. Was being so close to Dib ALL THE TIME going to be worth it? Was living REALLY worth the headaches. Yes, yes it was. He looked down in defeat, shaking his head in response to Dib's questions.

"Good! Now, would you like me to tend to your wounds, _dear_, so we can go shopping to get you some nice _pretty _clothes?" Dib grinned, turning his head to view the defeated Irken.

Zim gave Dib a hate filled look and, not trusting himself to say much of anything, and nodded.

Dib smirked at this response. "Good, _Zimma_, I'll fix you right up." He grinned, pulling himself off the bed once more and going to another table with medical supplies he'd fix himself with after a long fight with Zim. Though, only his face got injured this time. His technology has been getting better and better, so he didn't need to fix that. He went over to Zim and started spraying his rain-wounds with an anti-bacterial spray.

He sprayed the alien's chest, every once in a while dobbing it with a dry cloth to pick up excess spray or blue blood that was still bleeding.

Zim held his shirt up so Dib could get at all the burns on his chest and asked, half angrily and half curiously, "Why do you need to pretend to marry someone anyway? Why can't you just stay 'single'?"

Dib let out a lazy sigh, obviously distressed about the question. "Despite how hard I try, and how famous I become for what I am, Dad won't accept me until I'm studying REAL SCIENCE and settle down with a nice girl." He said bitterly, wiping up some blood on Zim's chest.

"Oh _I_ see now." Zim said in a condescending tone, unable to help himself. "Poor littler Dibbers, neglected as a smeet he longs for the attention he never got. Now as an adult he has the ability to please his father by taking on his legacy and establishing a family to provide for like a REAL man."

Dib glared ferociously at the Irken, grabbing one of his flesh wounds and sticking his nail in there to show HIM who's a real man.

"OW! Shhhh..." Zim hissed, squirming away from the nail. He glared at Dib angrily, asking, "Is that anyway to treat your future wife?"

Dib pulled his nail off and whipped the blue blood he made appear, not looking Zim in the face, because he was still brooding over what he had said.

Zim pouted fiercely. If one could kill by pouting Dib would have been murdered brutally by now and his corpse would be violated, but sadly all Zim could do with his pout is use it to display his feelings for the current situation.

Dib finally looked up glaringly at the pouting Irken.

"What the fuck is YOUR problem?" He finally finished dabbling his wounds and began using another cloth with a strange oily substance, now re-dabbing all of those same wounds with this quick heal oil.

"What's my PROBLEM!?" Zim raged. "My PROBLEM is I'm aching, you knocked me unconscious and put a bomb in my pak, now you're making me act like you're stupid lover as a way to suck up to 'Daddy'!"

Dib's facial gestures didn't change at all.

"Yeah? So? We've been doing these types of things to one another all of our lives. Or… at least _my life_, anyway. I thought I set the deal up pretty good for you, too. Not exposing you or anything…" He humphed. "I thought it was an okay-deal, and on top of that, I'm not sucking up to my Dad- I'm just letting him know that it's alright- I'm his son."

"The only reason you _aren't _exposing me is so you can use me in other ways, you humans are all such greedy creatures, and you never do anything for anyone unless it benefits you." Zim scooted back until his pak hit the wall which he slumped against, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well, what about you? You mean to tell me YOU'RE not greedy?" Dib gave him an unimpressed look, crawling up closer to the alien to finish oiling up his wounds.

Zim did not hinder, but nor did he help Dib in taking care of his wounds, saying, "I have my moments, but on the whole I do nothing that I do not believe will help my Tallests."

"And why do you help your Tallest, exactly?" He put the oil away, pulling out bandages. He pulled up closer to Zim so he could start wrapping it around his stomach, not even realizing that this in itself was just for Zim's benefit.

"Because it is what we are created for, to serve the Tallest, there is no other purpose than what they make for us." Zim said, giving in and holding his shirt up to give Dib more room to work. "That and universal conquest is neat."

"Your Tallest are greedy then." He said calmly, working his way up until it met with Zim's pack, and he stopped the bandage there, backing up and rubbing his shoulder.

Zim crossed his arms back over his chest, pouting once more and looking at the wall to his left. He knew what Dib said was true, but he didn't have to admit to anything.

"There! You're all done being bandaged. Do you need to rest any, 'Hun'?" Dib circulated his arm in the air to knock out the tension.

"Zim needs no rest." Zim said, standing and putting his hands on his hips. "Let's just get this over with before I surrender to the urge to strangle you."

"Yes Ma'am!" Dib smirked again, pulling himself off of the bed as well and walking up to the door, keeping a careful eye on Zim. "Computer, retreat all medical, defensive, and offensive utilities."

The computer sighed. "Fine." And the tables containing the supplies pulled themselves under ground, replacing the floors with empty tables with flower vases on them.

"I hate you." Zim stated, still glaring at Dib.

"Does it look like I care?" Dib smiled, walking onward. "What type of chick-clothes would you like, anyway?"

"I wouldn't." Zim said, following behind Dib, his hands now clenched firmly by his side.

"Better question; what chick clothes am I going to spend my money on for you?" Dib glared back at him.

Zim huffed and crossed his arms before relenting and saying, "I don't want to stray too far from my normal cloths if at all possible."

"Hot topic it is." Dib stated nonchalantly, now stepping down from the stairs.

Zim followed and, once on the first floor, leaned on a wall in an incredibly girly fashion and asked, "Are you going to surprise me or do you want me to come with you, DEAR?"

"Come with." Dib narrowed his eyes at the alien. "I want everybody to see the man who's going to be cross-dressing in the red-handed act of shopping."

Zim narrowed his eyes back before going back up stairs to get his wig which had fallen off then coming back downstairs, still glaring daggers at the human. He felt like a slave, like Dib WAS exposing him and his organs for all of Earth to see.

Dib smiled, opening the door to let Zim out first. "By the way- even if you run away and I choose not to kill you... the device I gave you also works like a shock collar. Just to warn you." He smirked, waiting for his dearest Zimma to leave with him.

Zim growled and stomped out of the door, waiting at the end of the side walk for Dib, not wanting to get shocked for going too far ahead and Dib thinking he was running away.

Dib shut the door and the house automatically locked itself as he left, following up behind Zim. "You know… this could be a learning experience for the both of us." He mumbled, coming up right next to Zim.

"Oh? And how's that?" Zim asked, glaring up at Dib, cursing Dib silently for being so tall.

"M'mmm... this could, and I know, bear with me here, get us to be at peace with each other." He shrugged, looking away.

"Not if you keep pissing me off." Zim mumbled, also looking away.

"I wouldn't have had to if you didn't piss me off first." Dib retorted, arms crossing, walking up to his car.

Zim walked over to the passenger side, replying with, "If you weren't SLAVING me then I wouldn't have any incentive to piss you off."

Dib spat out a laugh, getting into the driver's side. "Yeah right! And what have you been doing this whole time I've known you then?"

"My JOB!" Zim spat back, taking a step away from the car in defiance.

"EXACTLY! Now get in the car!!"

"GO TO HELL!"

"IF I DO, WILL YOU PLEASE KINDLY -JOIN- ME?!"

"Not KINDLY..." Zim said, calming down once he realized he really had nothing to add to that.

Dib gave him a dull expression. "Then please get in?"

Zim gave Dib a defiant stare before sighing in frustration and throwing a smeet-like tantrum. "You infuriate me, Dib-stink."

"I have so many things I want to say to that- but can't find a way to say 'm all at once." Dib let a half smile grace his face, looking in front of him. "I want to hurt you- but not right after I bandaged you up, so won't you PLEASE get in so I don't have to shock you?"

Zim tensed but got into the car, crossing his arms once more and pouting like an angry child.

Dib pulled out and started driving towards the mall where they'd find a nice place Zim wouldn't mind buying girl-clothes from. He stayed in silence, not wanting to force conversation, but feeling awkward through the silence nevertheless.

* * *

Zim: MEC

Dib: TSI

Oh the fun we have. More soon! Because of the way this fic is written instead of my usual 'one update for every fve reviews' this will be updated weekly or every other week depending upon how school is going for either of us.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Thursday and you all know what that means! Yup! CHAPTER TWO! WoooooooOOOO!

Sorry, it's midnight and I'm a little... eh... you don't care you just want to read the story, but read this first.

**Disclaimer**: Invader Zim I own not. If I did there would be so much implied ZaDR it wouldn't even be implied... dear God I'm tired.

**Warnings**: Sorry I am so sorry for missing this one as this is the one that gets to most people. There is a bit of not so nice language in here. But I think it makes it funnier. seme!Dib just isn't seme!Dib if he doesn't say 'fuck' at least once a chapter or some variation of the word.

Beta: NO ONE! So if there's any mistakes blame me, my insomnia, and spell check.

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Zim got bored with staring out the window and began to inspect his hand, finally, after a long while of silence he asked in a worn out kind of voice, his energy from their previous argument gone, "Can I keep my gloves on?"

"Why? Do you need them or something?" Dib asked, curiously. He was really glad for the absence of silence though. "If you want, you can keep 'm. I don't care."

"No, I don't need them, well, not really. But skin on skin contact makes me feel icky, sicky feelings." Zim said, rubbing his gloved hands together nervously.

"And you'd rather not touch me physically. That's okay. I wasn't planning on physically touching you, either." Dib reassured, continuing to drive on.

He wouldn't tell Zim this, but if his father made him kiss Zim, he would just to prove himself. Of course, Zim didn't need to know this. Not now anyway.

"Is holding hands not a sign of human affection?" Zim asked, tilting his head, apparently under the impression that his FABULOUS acting skills would be needed for this little charade.

Dib blushed. "Yeah, it is… but... I was hoping we could go by unnoticed _not _showing physical affection... Just sweet lies to one another to make it sound like it, and fake sweet smiles."

"Works for me." Zim said, crossing his arms once more. He looked at himself in the rear view mirror before asking, "What are we going to do bout my hair?" He ran a hand through his wig hair which was still in that same, god-awful hair do as when he first came here.

"Get you a new wig. Shouldn't be that hard to find one you're comfortable with." He said, staring at the road. A smile graced his face. "You're really getting into this, aren't you?"

"Do not read so much into this Dib-beast, I am merely curious. I think I have the right to know what's going to be done to my appearance." Zim said, poking Dib's shoulder, not wanting to punch him because he was driving.

Dib smiled warmer now, pulling up to the parking lot of a huge building. "How is your body, anyway?" Dib asked sudden interest in Zim's physicality.

"What? How do you mean?" Zim asked, not sure if Dib was talking about his wounds or his organs, knowing the Dib like he did though, he automatically assumed organs.

"The medicine- how is it working? Are you alright?" Dib asked, walking over to him and examining Zim's torso as though he had x-ray vision and could feel the pain with his eyes.

"Zim is fine." Zim declared, putting his hands on his hips. "Now can we get this over with? I hate this place."

"Sure." Dib turned around facing the mall and taking Zim by the hand, completely forgetting about their in-car-conversation.

Zim tensed a little but didn't say anything, after all, he didn't want to get shocked for provoking Dib and they weren't touching skin to skin so it didn't really matter.

The mall was as full as ever. Dib cursed under his breath. "Well, Zim, you have any store you wanna go to. Go to one. I'll follow." Dib said, just then realizing he was holding Zim's hand and quickly let go of it and frowning as if it never happened.

Zim rubbed his hand nervously and looked around, saying, "I don't... really know about Earth cloths. You know, what's casual, what's not."

Dib sighed. "You've been on earth for HOW long now? Surely you remember what the kids at school would wear. Stuff like that- only of what you like."

Zim looked around, trying to think of what he's seen human females wear that he liked. Thinking of nothing he sighed and put a hand over his eyes and blindly pointed at a store, deciding to just pick a random store and look at what they had.

"A prep store." Dib snickered. "Okay. I'm marrying a prep!" He had to put his hand over his mouth to keep him from breaking out in laughter.

"Then you pick!" Zim almost yelled, crossing his arms and pouting.

Dib frowned. "How about an emo store? As long as you don't go anymore whiny on me… that sounds alright."

"Lead the way, Dib-stink." Zim said, ignoring Dib's 'whiney' comment.

"Alright then." He glanced back at Zim as he started walking towards an escalator to go upstairs. The whole idea around emo's seemed to revolve cross-dressing, so he was sure he could find some nice chick clothes for Zim there that would magnify his girlish figure.

Zim followed Dib closely, eyeing various innocent looking statues. But he knew they were not so innocent, oh no.

Dib stepped into the emo-store, followed by Zim.

"Helloooo, may I be of assistants?" A very friendly looking guy and came over beaming brightly at the two, then examined Dib harder. "Wait- don't I know you from some where?"

TV probably. "Nope. Never seen you before in my life."

"Oh, okay."

"Yeah, so uh... Make this--" Dib gestured to Zim. "--into a hot chick please."

Zim blinked dumbfounded before turning a glare towards Dib, muttering a, "Jerk."

Dib grinned back at Zim tautly as the man walked over to the Irken.

He looked Zim over from top to bottom, circling him like large wild cats do their prey. He checked everything from how big the dip of the small of his back was to how puffed out his chest- more and more.

"Alright. Can do. And you- my queen- shall be SEXY." He said, quickly turning to a wall with accessories, grabbing a crap load of bracelets, necklaces, earrings (although Zim clearly had no ears), mascara, lip gloss, rings and more, filling a bag with all the goodies. He then grabbed some arm warmers, pantyhose, stockings, skirts galore, three different pairs of boots, tight girl-jeans, net shirts, skimpy shirts, spaghetti straps, tank tops, long sleeves, most all of these shirts with horizontal stripes, and some fashionable BUTTONS proclaiming gayness. He stuffed all of that in the bag and handed it to the two. "Can you afford all of this?"

"Why yes. Yes I can. What about you, Honey, do you like these things?" Dib asked back at his 'fiancé'.

Zim poked through the bag, not actually wanting to say he liked the clothes but not wanting to offend anyone or spend anymore time here than necessary. "I like stripes," He commented, hoping that the one he used would be enough to tell Dib what he wanted.

Dib smiled, taking the bag from Zim.

He took out many of the items of clothing without stripes, still leaving some of the solid colored ones in there. "There. We'll take these." He walked up to the counter, letting the man slip behind and ring all of them up.

Ching!!

"That'll be $752.81."

Dib mumbled, writing out a check.

If he wasn't so rich, he would have run from this store.

"Are we done now?" Zim asked, crossing his arms and trying to look like he wasn't happy about the new cloths, it's just, they were so FABULOUS!

"The wig." Dib said, taking the bag and walking beside Zim. "There should be a beauty shop nearby, and they usually have some wigs." He began walking out.

"Alright," Zim said, looking down at the ground as they walked.

Dib walked onward until he finally slowed down to be right next to Zim. "Anything the matter?"

"No, I'm just feeling a little unmotivated to be excited about being married to you is all." Zim said with a sigh before asking, "Why do you care?"

"Because like it or not, you're my fiancé, and just because I'm using you -- ... Come to think about it, I don't know." Dib looked back up from Zim, thinking to himself for what reason would he care.

Zim stopped in his tracks, something in his mind clicking from all those human movies he'd seen with Gir.

Dib stopped up ahead of him some, turning to look at Zim in confusion. "What?"

Zim smirked. Well, if he was going to be stuck with Dib for who knows how long he was at least going to milk this relationship dry.

"You said fiancé'. That means we're engaged." Zim said before putting his right hand on his hip and holding out the left one as if showing Dib his nails. "Where's my ring?"

"You got to be fucking kidding me." Dib gave him a pissed look going "don't cross my borders', and sighed head in hand.

Zim tilted his chin up and shifted his feet so one hip was out in a very girly fashion as he wiggled the fingers of his left hand and asked, "And when your father asks where your bride-to-be's ring is you're going to saaaaaaay...?"

Dib found himself blushing slightly at the adorableness Zim just flashed with his girly hips. "FINE!!" He hissed out. "AFTER we get your wig- we'll go get an f'ing ring already!!" He narrowed his eyes at the adorable Zim before turning sharply around to go into the beauty shop.

Zim's smirked turned almost happy and he followed Dib into the beauty shop which smelled sweet, like candy which he guessed was coming from the goop someone was sticking on someone else's hair.

"There. The wig rack." ((Try saying that ten times fast!)) Dib pointed to the wall with de-headed hair on foamy manikins. "Knock yourself out." Dib was obviously in a bad mood thinking about the ring but tried his best to sound happy.

Zim looked the rack up and down for ten minutes before deciding on a black, short one with longer bangs. The back had a feathered look to it and the bangs were slightly longer on one side than the other. "That one." He said, pointing to it.

"Are you totally incapable of grabbing it yourself?" Dib sighed, irritated at Zim, but calmly walked over, grabbing the ball of fake black hair, and taking it to the counter where the lady just stared at the two and gave a long "oooohhhhhhh" as though she had figured something out.

She rung it up.

30 dollars, and the two were on their way again.

Zim snickered, loving the feeling of having one up over Dib. "I thought men were supposed to be GENTLEMEN to their ladies."

Dib sighed, now walking towards a diamond shop.

"I don't need to be, not yet anyway." His eyes narrowed at all of the people. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Zim asked, unable to keep the smile off his face. "I may have to pretend to love you Dib, but I never agreed to make it easy for you."

"Never say 'I love you Dib' ever again unless it's around my father or somebody equally important, go it?" Dib hissed back, finding that phrase sent disgusting chills up his spine when he heard it. They stepped into the sparkling diamonds store. "Have fun."

"Aw, but Dibbers..." Zim whined before taking a look around the shop and, turning back to Dib with his hands on his hips said, "You're supposed to pick it out for me."

Dib twitched. Dibbers?

He stared at Zim's girlish posture for a while, then grimaced. "FINE. Just… put on the wig, please?" He whined painfully going up to the counters and looking down in them to find a rock nice enough for his Dad to approve.

Zim snickered at the thought of NOT putting the wig on but decided, just this once, he would show Dib some mercy and switched hair quickly while no one was looking.

After much searching he finally found a ring worthy enough to show off to his dad. "That one. Do you like it, 'Hunny'?" Dib called him over, pointing to a $7000 engagement ring.

Zim walked over, gazing at the ring before smirking (he was TRYING to smile) and saying, "It's lovely!"

Dib dismissed Zim's girly attitude. "I'll take that one." Dib motioned for the jeweler to come over, a bit surprised Zim didn't give him such a hard time with picking them. He paid the man and took the ring inside of its tiny box, and coughed nervously, looking around with a tint of red on his cheek. He debated on kneeling to give the ring to Zim, but decided choosing the much less traditional way and just handed the box to Zim.

Zim was about to protest and make Dib kneel but, seeing Dib blush, made him decide to wait. He could always make Dib do it in front of his father later.

"So when do I get to 'meet' your parents?" Zim asked, getting much too used to having his hip popped like that.

Dib took the box back and put it in his pocket when he noticed Zim wouldn't take it yet.

"You meet Dad tomorrow at a fancy restaurant. M'mm, sounds like fun, huh?" Dib rolled his eye, slinging his hands behind his head and staring upwards. "That alright with you?"

"Sounds perfect." Zim said with a smile, finding that, despite his detestation of having to dress up and act like a girl, it was worth it to creep Dib out.

"Well then.. Let's go 'home'." Dib narrowed his eyes, leaving said 'girl' in the shop as he walked out.

Zim followed behind closely for two reasons, one, and it was funny to see Dib's reaction, and two, those statues kept following him with their eyes, like they remembered him from the time he broke in.

Dib left the building and started for his car, muttering something about 'stupid Zim' and 'taking advantage of the situation' and 'acting so girly'. He crawled into the driver's seat, waiting for Zim.

"You asked for this, DIB, when you decided to force Zim to be your love pig." Zim said once he was in his seat.

Dib started the car and aimed it for home. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Geez. And you're not my 'love pig'. I have no interest you in that way. It just sort of had to be this way is all."

"Why DID you chose Zim?" Zim asked curiously, turning to Dib. "You could have any female you wanted and you choose me, why?"

Dib gripped the wheel tighter.

"That's just it. I CAN have any woman I want. But… none of them actually care for me. They're all shallow, aiming for my fame and money." He glared at a license plate ahead which read PWN J00. "They drive me insane. I want a real relationship, not just a crappy-ass 'I love you, so can you marry me so I can have all of your possessions?' thing. With you- I can use you to keep you out of trouble, yet play you as my 'wife' for a while to appease Dad. You're fast and convenient. While we play out a fake relationship, that'll give me more time to fall in love with somebody who can actually love me back for who I am. Then I'll drop you like a rock, give you your life back, and marry her. I just need to get the marriage thing out of the way because of Dad." He explained, seething some.

"Oh," was all Zim could say. He felt a little hurt that Dib just wanted to use him. There was nothing about Zim that made him particularly appealing. He was just convenient and a lot of trouble.

"--Besides… I can actually have an intellectual conversation to you. That's something all of the rest are missing. You make me mad, but you don't _drive_ me mad." He seemed to relax in his seat some after saying that.

Zim perked up a little asking, "You think I'm intelligent?"

"Well, yeah. Don't you?" Dib kept his focus on the road, not even glancing at Zim to see his reactions.

"Yeah..." Zim said in a 'duh' sort of way.

Dib smirked. "Then why question me, if you already knew?"

"Because, Dib-beast, you are the only one to have caught on to Zim's BRILLIANCE." Zim said, motioning with a hand just how brilliant he was.

Dib pulled up his driveway. "I've set up a room for you so you don't have to sleep with -me-." He said 'me' as if he was disgusted by the very thought of it being him of all people. He pulled out of the car.

"Good," Zim said, nodding in approval.

Dib mumbled, stepping into the house. "I hope you liked your ring..."

"I do like it actually. Now when are you going to get on one knee and propose to Zim properly? Here in the privacy of you own home? Or in front of your father and about fifty other people you don't even know?" Zim asked, smirking once more.

"Do I -have- to propose?" Dib asked, wondering since when has Zim been in charge of this plan. "I was kind of hoping it would be a silent agreement."

Zim rolled his eyes and gave a fake sigh of disappointment, saying with his hand held out, "Fine, just give me the ring."

That disappointed sigh rang through his head while they stood in the living room. "W-what? You really wanted me to..?"

"Of course, is that not how things are done? Besides, this way we won't have to make up a story as to how you engaged to me."

Dib blushed like mad, slowly reaching for the box with the ring in it in his pocket.

"You're serious?" He slowly got down on one knee, feeling very similar to a slave or a pet right now from this angle looking up at Zim in a girl wig. "This is so crazy..."

"Really?" Zim asked, smirking down at Dib. "From this point-of-view it's rather amusing."

Dib glared up at Zim, and had to quickly look away, face red as a rose.

He held out the box and opened it slowly. "Zim… Will you… marry me?" He was going to DIE, he just KNEW.

Zim pretended to ponder this for a moment before smirking more, once more attempting a sincere looking smile and said in a cutesy voice, "Of course I will, Dib-love!"

* * *

Zim: Meh, MEC.

Dib: The Smallest Invader

Tune in next week! -giggles like an insane anime shoujo with a high pitched voice-


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! Chapter three! Things start to get a little more interesting from here on out!

I would just like to say something on the progress of this fic. This, as I have explained, is an rp which means it requires some cleaning up and what not to flow a little more smoothly because, as I'm sure you know, me and The Almighty Smallest (The Smallest Invader -loves on her-) Can not read each others' minds. It's doesn't WORK that way. So, yeah, I realize there are going to be a few little misinterpretations on both our parts. If anything needs clarifying, please ask, I know I had to on a few ocations and so has she.

I went a little bit off topic with that, so let's try that again. PROGRESS! As of right now I have up to chapter six all nice and squeaky clean! Of course there are still going to be a few grammer issues as I have to read and beta the fic myself but I'm doing the best I can! -cries- IT'S NOT EASY!

Oh, and don't try to guess the ending of the fic as I won't be able to tell you diddly-doo-da as I just realized to day when TSI brought it up that I don't know the end! It's going to be a big surprise for us all!

* * *

Dib lowered his head so Zim wouldn't be able to read his expression, although he could probably read it just by this. He grumbled, taking Zim's gloved hand and slipping it on a claw. "There. It's done with."

"Good," Zim said, looking more pleased with himself than he'd been in days. This may turn out to be beneficial for him after all.

Dib grumbled, standing up. "I'm going to bed now. Don't even try to escape. The house only responds to me and will paralyze anything else who tries to use it; including the doors and windows." He stuck a hand in the air, beginning to walk up stairs. Zim was such a PAIN sometimes.

"Where's my room?" Zim asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Upstairs. Find it." Dib answered back harshly.

Zim pouted before looking over the room he was in. It was the living room. It looked just like the living room of Dib's old house just without the membrane merchandise. He walked over to the end table near the couch and looked at the few pictures sitting their collecting dust.

There was a picture of a beautiful woman with long purple hair. Next to it was a family photo five years ago. Everybody looked upset in the picture, all with fake smiles. It was disturbing.

Zim picked up the picture of the woman, liking that one on more than the fake happy picture. "This must be the Dib's female genetic donor... I wonder why I've never seen her."

The woman in the picture was smiling warmly with beautiful honey colored eyes. Her skin looked soft and was as pail as the moon.

"That's my mother." Dib muttered, stepping down from the stairs slowly.

Zim jumped at the sound of Dib's voice before sighing and looking back at the picture, saying, "She very pretty... you know, for a human..." He added that last part with little bite to it. "Will I be meeting tomorrow too?" He asked, turning back to face Dib.

Dib's calm expression turned to one of hurt and disgust. "You think that's funny?" He walked up more firmly, tempted to snatching the picture of his dear mother out of Zim's claws.

"What are you talking about?" Zim asked, offended.

"My mothers -dead-. You know that!" He turned to look away. "That's sick of you."

"No, Zim knew nothing of your mother." Zim said, setting the photo down to put his hands on his hips. "If you haven't NOTICED, Dib-worm, we were never exactly the best of friends, how the hell should I know, or even care about the whereabouts of your female parent?"

Dib folded his arms glancing away. "I just thought you'd figure it out. You've never seen her. It's only logical to think she's either dead or divorced Dad. It's stupid to have thought that all of a sudden she'd be here, just to meet her son's fiancé." Despite how sharp his words were, his face carried a certain lingering hurt to it.

"I never thought about it. I just figured she was away all the time like your father. But you're right; now that I look at it it was a stupid assumption. I'll just go to my room now." Zim pulled his wig off and tossed it onto the couch. He wanted to be away from Dib right now. That look of hurt on his face was not brining him joy, in fact it made him feel bad, and he wanted that bad feeling to go away.

Dib sighed, staring at the wig on the couch. Maybe he should go up and say sorry to Zim? No. He had nothing to be sorry for.

He scratched the back of his head and looked down at the picture. It was getting late; he should go to bed, too.

And slowly he went up until he made his way to his room, sighing into his pillow after dressing down to his boxers and crawling into bed. Zim must have known, right?

Memories of his mother sprung into his head as he fell asleep for that night.

Zim didn't know why this had made him feel s o bad, but it did. He threw himself onto his bed once he found his room and sighed in frustration.

He couldn't sleep at all that night. Not that he really needed to, but he wanted to to make this bad feeling gripping his squeedilly spooch go away. Finally he couldn't take lying still any more and he got up. He looked at the clock... four in the morning. He sighed and went back down to the living room, spotting his wig on the couch. He picked it up and with an air of curiosity and put it on, standing in front of the mirror in the room, marveling at just how... pretty he looked.

Dib woke up at 6:38. He mumbled, fumbling around for his glasses and putting them on. That's right! Today was the day he was going to introduce "Zimma" to his dad! Curses.

Zim was sitting on the couch, curled up in a corner in the arm, wig still on.

Still in his boxers, Dib walked out into the living room, staring at Zim. "Zim? What are you doing?" Why was he curled up? Was he scared?

"Relaxing..." Zim answered, forcing his body to un-tense. But really he was moping, feeling bad and confused and nervous all at the same time.

"No, you're brooding." Dib walked over, sitting near by on the floor. "What are you brooding over?"

"I'm not 'brooding'" Zim said. "I'm just a little...uh, nervous, is all."

"Why?" Dib stared him down to search out the answers.

Zim crossed his arms and scowled, saying, "You would be too if you were a member of an lien species and was going to have dinner with an alien planet's top scientific mind."

Dib grinned. "He'll never think you're an alien, you know. He may be smart, but he's so close minded, he'll never see you for who you are. Don't worry about it!" He chuckled a little.

"I still don't like it..." Zim said, crossing his arms, the hair falling into his face accenting his pout.

He used his fingers to lightly and ghostly brush the hair behind the other's ear until they fell back in place. He gave a small 'heh' at this. The hair was just as stubborn as Zim. "Don't worry. You'll do fine, I'm sure of it. He'll believe you're the girl for me, so don't worry."

Zim sighed, not at all minding the touch to his face like he tried to make himself. "I s'pose bothers no way out of this huh?"

"Nope!" He grinned. "Wanna put on your chick clothes now and find a nice combination of them you like?" He was secretly very anxious about seeing him look like a girl.

Zim nodded, getting up and stretching. This was also something he was nervous about... how would he look in his new cloths?

Dib stood up too. "Great, then let's go to your room and you can change."

"Alright," Zim said, trying to sound bored. He made his way up to his room. Inside Zim picked up the bag which still had all of the clothes in it and everything. He pulled out each piece of clothing and laid them out on the bed, looking at all of them thoughtfully before asking Dib, "Which should Zim wear?"

Dib looked over. "Whichever do you like the most? That's the whole thing about getting dressed, it's what you like and feel like for that day." He lazily put his arms behind his head.

Zim groaned in a mix of annoyance and thought. Why did humans have to be so complicated, he liked not having to think about what he was going to wear. Finally he asked, "Which do you think your father would like most? After all, we are doing this for him, yes?"

Dib thought. "Something showing skin." Yes, Daddy was a pervert at times. He sighed.

Zim groaned once more but picked up a few pieces of clothing and dropped them on a chair and started undressing.

Dib watched a bit until he realized what was going on. "Uh- right. I'll just leave now." He mumbled, moving out of the room and closing the door behind him. Should of saw that one coming!

Zim just shrugged off Dib's behavior as one of those weird human things and started to pull on the cloths he'd picked out. When he was done he came out of the room wearing a pink and black striped shirt that cut off just below where a human's belly button would be, a black net top on top of that, both long sleeved. His hips were hugged tightly by black jeans with way too many pockets, each lined in pink, and there was a very short skirt attached to that which matched the shirt perfectly (the top and jeans were a set XD). His boots and gloves were hidden under the sleeves and pants instead of over like normal. He also put two berets in the longer side of his hair to keep it most of the way out of his vision. Other than a few more accessories and make-up Zim was finished.

Dib stared at Zim, gawking. "Z-z-Zim! You.. You look like a GIRL! ...With.. curves and everything.. you're... you're.." No, he couldn't say it. It was too much! "This.. is acceptable." He straightened his back up, looking away from how cute Zim was.

Zim looked off to the side, blushing a little and saying, "I don't know how to put your human face paint on." He held out his hands which held the things of make-up he could wear. Basically eye shadow, mascara, blush, eyeliner, lip liner, and lip-stick, the man at the store left things like foundation and face powder out as they didn't have the right color for Zim's shade of skin.

"If.. you want, I could TRY to help you put some on.. But I'm a guy... so I don't really know either." He mumbled lightly, now looking down at what was in Zim's hands.

Zim looked down at the stuff in his hands and like he hadn't even heard mumbled thoughtfully, "Hm, maybe Gir would be able to help."

"You know I just said I'd help, right?" Dib looked up raising a brow, how pride a little hurt.

"Yeah I know," Zim said simply before sighing and making his way to the bathroom. "Well come on."

"You're welcome." Dib grumbled following him up and closing the bathroom door behind them.

Zim put the various make-ups on the bathroom counter, making sure to stay away from anything that might spew water at him.

Dib looked over at them and picked up the mascara. "Uh.. would.. you want this?" He asked, unscrewing the top.

"I don't care... what is that stuff anyway?" Zim asked, poking the tube curiously.

"You put them on your eyelashes to--" He screwed the lid back on and put it away, grabbing lip gloss instead. "Never mind."

"Ok..." Zim said, watching what Dib did curiously.

Dib got the lips gloss out and adjusted. "Okay, Zim, stretch out your lips like your smiling.." He paused, trying to find a way to do this that Zim KNEW how to do. "Or-or like you're yelling." He held the lip gloss out reading to skim it across Zim's girly lips.

Zim did as he was told, watching what Dib was doing intently so he wouldn't have to ask him for help again.

Dib bent over, leaning in and concentrating hard on the green lips of the Irken. He pointedly pressed the tip of the lip gloss on his stretched bottom lip and glided it from end to end, taking the lip gloss away. "Now rub your lips together and make a kissy-face." That's what they did in the movies, right?

Zim did so, looking down to try and see his lips.

"M'mmm, good." Dib mumbled, getting increasingly bored with make-up already. He set down the lip-gloss and pulled out eye shadow. "You're wearing red and black so... this blush red should be good for your eyes, right?" He asked as if Zim was the expert, and already began picking some of the make-up up onto the end of the soft utensil it came with.

"I guess," Zim said, shrugging and closing his eyes lightly.

Dib gently stroked his eyelids with the red, collecting more red at the outer end of the eye than the inner. When he felt this was 'pretty' enough, he stopped, pulled back and grinned to admire his work of art! Zim!

Zim blinked and looked up at Dib, asking, "Well? What's next?"

"Blush!" Dib announced, grabbing some blush that matched the color of the eye shadow.

Zim tilted his head and continued to watch curiously. "Let me guess, cheeks?' He asked.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you can do this on your own. Just… fluff it on your cheek-bones or something." Dib handed him the blush, looking away now at a "UFO" printed towel.

Zim took the blush and hesitantly brushed it onto his cheeks, careful not to use as much as Gir did when he put make-up on.

Dib glanced at Zim and glared away towards the mirror, cursing his reflection silently. "Well there. That's make-up. You're presentable now. (You were before though, too.)" He mumbled the last part, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaving the restroom. "I'm going to put some clothes on now."

"You do that," Zim said annoyedly, not catching that last part.

Dib retreated into his room where he set out fresh clothes.

When you're famous and all the girls want you, you don't have to look professional at all. You can just wear clothes you like. That's one thing our little dark geeky-Dib had learned and appreciated from his work environment.

He put on a black fish-net shirt and a black shirt over that with what look like blue paint splatter on the top, which was really just the design of the shirt, and he threw on his black chained pants with blue linings and zippers everywhere.

Maybe- just maybe- there was this other reason Dad didn't approve of him, but he hadn't said anything about it before, so it didn't bother Dib.

Zim came out of the bathroom, stretching and yawned. He needed to see how he really looked so he went back down to the living room to the full view mirror he'd been looking into just that morning and stood in front of it, turning this way and that. He didn't really like the bit of skin showing, but it looked good, so he left it alone.

Dib stepped out, and clunked his boots down stairs. He looked at Zim. "Vain, much?" He strolled over to him and helped him look in the mirror by looking at himself as well.

"I've been hanging around you too much." Zim replied, brushing back a little hair out of his face.

Dib smirked. "If that was the case, you'd be good looking." He retorted, his own ego poking in on the scene.

Zim turned to glare at Dib, sticking his tongue out.

Dib smirked, finding his victory in this. "Oh! How are your marks, anyway?" Dib asked, now turning to peak down Zim's shirt.

"They are fine." Zim said, lifting his shirts up. "Most of them are healed, only the ones that got water in them are still there."

Dib smiled and almost touched one of the scars but decided against that. "I'm getting better." He smirked, feeling proud over the marks he left on his soon-to-be-bride, unaware of how wrong that was.

"You'd like to think that wouldn't you." Zim said, giving Dib a smirk before lightly, almost affectionately, running a hand over the claw marks on Dib's face.

Dib's face grew hot and his eyes widen, taking hesitant step away from Zim. ((And here is where it begins.)) "W-what was that?"

"Just admiring my handiwork." Zim said, still smirking. He vaguely wondered why Dib got so nervous, but pushed the thought away, not really caring, just liking the reaction.

It took Dib a moment to realize what he was talking about before he took his hand to his face, feeling deep scratch-marks those cursed claws left him with. He was focusing so hard on Zim last night; he forgot to fix up his own wounds. He glared away, hands still on his face. "You have an unfair advantage over me, though. You got your's cleaned and fixed."

"That and your human body is so slow to heal." Zim said as if agreeing. "But it doesn't change the fact that those will last quite a while, while mine will be healed with in the week."

Dib glared at the wall. How was Zim always so good at turning things around to benefit himself? "Yeah…" He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We don't have to meet up with Dad until six... Just to let you know."

"That's fine." Zim said, turning back around to face the mirror. "Gives me time to learn how to act like I like you anyway."

"Yeah." Dib agreed. "How are we going to go about that, anyway? I don't really care for… touching you… and… this is going to be weird. Better try now than to first try around Dad and act weirded out whenever we do pretend."

"I guess," Zim said, turning back to Dib and saying, "Holding hands seems to be fine, neither of us really seemed to have a problem with it when you grabbed my hand yesterday. I guess hugging is next on the list then?"

"Y-yeah, I did, didn't I? O-okay. Hugging." Dib looked oddly at the other, opening his arms some and hesitantly stepping up to put them around the other in a very guy-hugging-his-best-guy-friend kind of way.

Zim hesitantly did the same, careful not to lean into the hug lest Dib get the wrong idea.

It felt awkward.

Those two just stood there holding one another in a VERY awkward hug. It didn't even LOOK right.

"Uh… I don't think this is working, Zim."

"Me neither." Zim said, shifting awkwardly. How did they do it in the movies? Zim leaned slightly onto Dib, resting his cheek on the human's chest and loosening his arms so they hung around Dib's waist instead of squeezing it. His muscles twitched from the effort of staying loose when they wanted to tense up.

Dib rested his own head on top of Zim's. This felt -weird-. He then tried to not hunch his back so much like guys would do their buddies, and allowed more physical contact, letting his arms climb down to hug Zim's mid back instead. Although Zim was very good at biting back his tenseness, Dib wasn't, and it was apparent in everyway.

"You're too tense." Zim noted, finally needing to pull back from the hug, the contact becoming unbearable after a while.

"Then what do I do to fix that?" Dib wondered, going over to the couch and sitting down with a sigh. This was useless, wasn't it?

"Maybe you should stop thinking about it and just do it... like so." Zim said before pouncing onto the couch next to Dib and giving him an affectionate hug with his eyes closed tight so he wouldn't have to see Dib and ruin the mental image he'd made to cope with having to touch the human.

Dib pulled back some, arms in the air, even more tense now by the spontaneous hug than he did the poorly rehearsed hug. "Uh-uhm-okay…" He shut his own eyes, trying to mimic what Zim had done, and wrapped his arms tightly around the other, pretending as though some one he could love was in those arms.

Zim liked that hug a lot better than the rehearsed one and nodded against Dib's chest, letting him know that that was much better before pulling back and asking in a smug voice, "See? Not so hard."

"Yeah it is. Do you think we'll really have to do that?" He asked, already knowing the answer but hopping in the back of his mind they could avoid it. Then the thought of having to kiss the other entered his mind. Sure… in couples at the beginning of their relationship, they hugged more and kissed less… but Zim was his fiancé, meaning they've been hitting it off with one another. Kissing would be more common… and a lot more grotesque.

Zim wasn't even thinking about kissing. He was more worried about the hugs, being unfamiliar with the way human relationships worked. On Irk couples held hands or linked arms as a symbol to everyone that they were not available. They never... kissed. "What about interacting with each other?"

Dib thought about that for a moment. "I can call you Zimma… That sounds kind of girlish… I could also call you 'Hun', 'dear', 'sugar bunny', or variety of other names. What would you call me?" He asked, waiting to hear things he'd have to deny or approve.

"Scrap the 'sugar bunny' name and I WONT call you 'pig-smelly'." Zim said while trying to think of something he could call Dib. A pet name for the Dib-worm. "You will simply be Dib-love." Zim said finally, unable to think of anything better. "But if there is something else I can think of to call you I will use that."

"That sounds good." Dib sighed. "What... about kissing? We will NOT have to suck face, and in fact I WILL not allow that… but... "He got a nervous blush across his face as he glared at the blank TV.

Zim cringed before stuttering, "I-I guess we ju-just try to do the same thing like with h-hugging. Just don't think about it."

"S-so… do… d-do we do it now..? I mean…" He looked over to Zim, looking really unsure of himself.

"W-why not, I mean, that is if you aren't SCARED or anything." Zim added the taunt as if that would make things easier for either for them.

Dib glared. "I-I'm not scared." He was scared.

He took Zim by the shoulders, and stared him back in those contacts filled eyes. He slowly strained his eyes shut as he pulled forwards, trying to greet Zim's lips with his own.

Zim wanted to pull back so badly but didn't, instead he just squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the contact.

Very stiffly- oh so very stiffly, Dib kissed the alien wearing lip-gloss, using his shoulders to pull him closer, to perhaps, make it easier on himself.

Zim immediately decided he didn't like kissing. It felt alright, but touching the human's food hole with his own mouth made him feel sick. But he didn't pull back right away. Instead he just shut his eyes tighter and started to inch back.

Unlike Zim's slow motion of leaving, Dib quickly pulled back after a while and looked away, now sitting the totally opposite direction from Zim. The feeling of embarrassment was unbearable.

After taking a moment to collect himself Zim wiped his mouth off with the back of his sleeve and said, "Le-let's just try to avoid kissing if at all possible, okay?"

"I was going to anyway... avoid that is... but you know… hugs… wont cut it. One kiss tonight! That'll be it! And we have to look smooth while we do it, like we're enjoying it." He said with a bit of a shudder in his breath as he continued to stare at the opposite side as Zim, speaking to the wall more than anything it seemed.

"What about just... a peck on the cheek or something. I could live with THAT." Zim asked, rubbing his hands nervously.

"Y-y-yeah. A peck." Dib grumbled. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Good," Zim said, nodding. "Think we'll be able to survive this?"

"Are you weakening?" Dib turned over to look at Zim finally. "You're asking Dib Membrane if he'd survive this... I was sure you would have more confidence in yourself as well." He hoped that his little false act of his own confidence would encourage Zim for his as well, making it easier for Dib to act as a whole.

Zim crossed his arms over his chest and 'humph'ed and. "I am NOT weakening. I am perfectly confident in my acting skills. It's your father that worries me."

"Why does he worry you so much?" Dib asked in distress.

"He's just creepy, I mean, just look at him. Have you ever noticed that sometimes he doesn't wear pants under his lab coat? 'Cause I have." Zim said, pointing at Dib accusingly.

Dib shuttered, not really paying attention before to that.

"Don't worry. I'm sure nothing'll go wrong. I wouldn't WANT anything to go wrong. Remember, this is benefiting me, so I wont be too kind if Dad tries anything. I wouldn't want anything happening to my fiancé." He said seriously, staring into Zim's eyes a bit before breaking out in a laugh.

Yeah. Yeah he did.

He wanted LOTS of things to happen to his fiancé, but he couldn't just hurt Zim, oh no. Not now anyway. The worse he could do is to shock the poor Irken, but no bruises, no more cuts. He'd have to wait until nobody suspected them before they can start fighting again.

Zim rolled his eyes. "You can be so immature, sometimes." He crossed his arms and legs in a very girly manner and leaned back.

"Hey! What?! I PROMISE nothing will go wrong… anyway… you've got the 'girl' thing down pat, so we wont have to worry about that." Dib grinned, moving in closer to try to intimidate Zim by hovering over him and looking as though he might kiss him again. Of course he wouldn't, but he liked winning against the alien in any little mini-challenge he can think of.

Zim scootched back, feeling uneasy. "Back off, Dib."

"Or what?" Dib grinned down, taking Zim by his chin, actually feeling a little nervous himself.

Zim whined in annoyance and grabbed Dib's wrist, saying, "Let go or I'll rip your hand off and stuff it down your throat."

Dib backed off, trying to snatch his wrist back. "You win." He narrowed his eyes.

Zim let the wrist go, nodding in victory.

He rubbed his wrists. "You wanna go to… like… a cafe or something… and try to pretend like we love each other in front of strangers so that we can get some practice or something?" He looked away narrowly.

"We could try that." Zim said, becoming a little calmer now that Dib had backed off.

"Okay then, it's a date." He stood up; adjusting his glasses better while he started walking out towards the door.

* * *

Reviews are loved as are messages! And Rennfield, mah bro, if you're reading this REVIEW! I know you have an account now! Sign it and wrap it all nice and neat!

... Please?

Zim MEH!

Dib The Smallest Invader or as I now like to call her THE ALMIGHTY SMALLEST!


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, chapter four!

A/N: Ok, we HAVE a beta but we haven't used her yet. I was gonna start with this chapter but we got her too late. Sorry. We will definatly get the next one beta'ed!

On a much more awsome note TSI and I are almost COMPLETEY done with this story! WOOH!

* * *

Zim followed behind Dib, hands close to his sides and head held high.

Dib walked over to the passenger's side, opening the door for Zim with an "I don't want to do this" sigh.

"Hey, this was your idea." Zim said, getting into the car.

"Doesn't mean I'm thrilled." He closed the door gently on Zim and went in on his side, starting the car and pulling out.

"Since you're the chick of the relationship, you do know you'll be planning the wedding, right?"

"WHAT!?" Zim asked, close to yelling. "I know nothing of Earth weddings! How the hell am I supposed to plan one!?"

"Watch movies." Dib continued to drive, not changing his facial features at all, although, slightly enjoying hearing Zim squirm.

"No way on IRK, Dib-stink!" Zim said, shifting as if to get away from Dib. "You're rich, hire somebody!"

Dib sighed. "Fine." He grumbled in defeat and suddenly got a really dirty idea that popped out of nowhere.

He glared at the road harder now for it probably did that to him.

"Good." Zim said before turning to Dib and asking, "What's your problem?"

"Why do YOU care?" Dib asked bitterly like Zim had last night.

"I DON'T," Zim lied. "But you looking like that bothers me."

"If I told you, it would only make you mad." Dib sighted, his facial features softening some on the road.

Zim rolled his eyes, saying, "Everything about you makes me mad."

Dib glowered. "FINE! If you wanna know so badly I'll tell you!! I--" He couldn't spit it out. His face grew red from the disgustingly horrible thought he had that distracted him so. "I was thinking about ..." He searched his brain quickly and lied. "... How ugly you'd look in a wedding dress." There! That was good. Sure it was convincing, right?

Zim scowled, completely buying it. "You're such a CHARMER. No WONDER you're marrying a nice, attractive girl with an amazing personality and sense of humor. Oh wait, that's right, you're not! You're so desperate for recognition from your negligent father that you had to threaten an ALIEN's life just to get married."

Completely outraged and, though he'd never admit it, hurt, Zim slouched in his seat and looked out the window, glaring at every living thing with hatred.

Dib stayed silent. The air hung over the two of him, and as angry as he wanted to be, he couldn't help but be equally crushed by Zim's words.

"Z-zim..." He couldn't figure out if he wanted to say 'you're ugly', 'sorry', or 'you're right', so he just stayed quiet for a while longer. "W-why do you think… he's like that..? Did I ever fuck up that bad..?"

He was quiet. Zim wouldn't know that. Of course he wouldn't. How could he? He didn't even know Dib's mother was dead.

He let out a small 'ha', choking down his sadness and swallowing it with mustered up humor. "You're right, though. I suck. It's no wonder I can't find a girl who likes me for who I am… it's no wonder I have to do all of this to prove myself to Dad. Thanks Zim."

Zim sighed and forced himself to relax, he felt a little bad at yelling for Dib like that, the kind of bad he felt last night for being insensitive about Dib's mother. This bad feeling made him feel sympathetic to the Dib-thing's problems and it didn't help that he was in a similar situation. "You don't... 'suck', Dib- stink." He finally said, but tried not to make it sound like he was apologizing. "Because if you did then I would also 'suck' because you were able to capture me. And Zim does not 'suck'; Zim is amazing, the best!"

Dib smirked, feeling better now. "Yeah, I guess you've got a point there…" He smiled better now. "And, just to let you know, I wasn't actually thinking about how ugly you'd be in a wedding-dress." He laughed, trying to apologies in his own way.

Zim tilted his head, asking, "Really?" Before smirking and saying teasingly, "Then you were thinking of how fabulous Zim would look in a wedding dress?"

"It has nothing to do with the wedding dress." Dib admitted. Oh no, it was much worse than the wedding dress. It was what would be worn AFTER the wedding dress if the was an actual relationship and not a scam.

Zim blinked curiously at Dib before asking, not at all angry sounding, "Are you going to tell me what you WERE thinking about then? Or is it one of your human secrets?"

"Human secret!" Dib grinned; happy that he now felt that Zim would leave this topic alone now that he'll know it's a human thing.

Zim groaned, desperately wanting to know what was running through Dib's mind now but not wanting to start another hurtful argument over something so HUMAN.

Dib sighed in relief as the topic wasn't touched. All of this talk of Zim in girl clothes… Zim actually BEING in girl clothes… was doing something to him mentally!!

Dib pulled into a fancy parking lot. "Alright. We're here… And um… I'm gonna start calling you Zimma from this point on till we get back in the car so… I'll get your door for you." Dib mumbled, getting out of the car and to the passenger side where he opened 'her' door.

'Zimma' got out of the car and gave Dib a thankful smile, this one actually looking like it was meant to. "So, what is this place?" 'She' asked, looking at it curiously.

"This is a famous restaurant. Thought I'd take you here for breakfast and a chat, Dear." He held out his elbow for Zimma to hold. "I don't know of this place is any good though, I usually stay inside."

Zimma hesitantly took Dib's arm and looked around curiously, trying to distract himself from the current situation.

Dib led Zim into the building where a few people stared at how they dressed to such a fancy place, but Dib never minded that and walked up to the front. "Table for two?" He looked back at Zimma and smiled warmly, more to show off how much of a man he could actually be if he tried than anything, though.

Zim smiled back in response as a waitress nodded and led them to a table in a semi-lit corner, perfectly convinced the two would be wanting to neck at some point by how they were looking at each other.

Dib walked his fiancé to the table and held a chair out for her. "Isn't this a nice romantic spot?" He said, trying to make conversation.

Zimma sat down in the chair and blushed, saying teasingly, "Sure it is, if you're IN to that kind of stuff." Like she was leading him on.

"Dimmed lights? Table for two? Candles? Woman playing a piano behind a bush so we don't get a good view? Why yes. Yes, it makes me hard." He joked, not very gentlemanly like, opening his menu.

Zim-uh, Zimma stuck her tongue out before also opening her own menu. Now then, what to order, what to order...?

"You can get anything you want, so don't worry about the price, he mumbled before setting his menu down, already deciding.

Zim looked confusedly at all of the different meals. SO many to choose from and none of them looked at all simple.

Dib watched in amusement as Zim couldn't find anything to eat. The very refined looking waitress came by. "Hello, would you like anything to drink?" She smiled. This couple looked so cute!

Dib reached over and put his hand on Zim's hand with a small flinch to his face. This was good though- this was what practice was all about! To get those flinches out before the real thing! "Zimma-Dear? What would you like to drink..?" He smiled at him the best he could, having to think of kitty cats, butterflies, and moonlit nights to do so.

Zimma looked up, startled by the sudden touch and resisted the urge to scowled at the human, saying, "Ju-just some soda or something."

"Coke for her, please."

"And for you?"

"I'll have a strawberry daiquiri."

The woman gave him a strange look. So early in the day? She shrugged it off though and wrote it down on the sketch pad. "Right away. Be ready to order." She sung while leaving the couple to their silent quarrel and Dib took his hand off of Zim's.

Zim sighed. "This is harder than I thought." He/she said before looking back at the menu. She turned it towards Dib and pointed at something. "What's this?"

Dib looked over. "A club sandwich… but I don't think you'd like that. It has lettuce in it so it would be too spicy I'd think." He looked at his own. "I'm getting small shrimps." Yup. Shrimp for breakfast along with his strawberry daiquiri!

Zim made a face at the idea of shrimp at all before turning back to his menu. He finally found something simple looking. Three pancakes and an egg, he could always give the egg to Dib and he liked pancakes, so that's what he would have. He nodded in approval before turning back to Dib, trying to think of something to say.

Dib set the menus on the side to the table and looked over at Zim. Then at the flame. He snatched the flame up in his fingers a few times, watching it recline on its wick and com back with vengeance and he sighed, also not knowing what to say.

Zim tilted his head and looked at Dib curiously, something from many years ago suddenly coming to mind and he asked, "Are you... 'gay', Dib?"

The human's face went red at the very thought of it. "No… Why?" He stopped playing with the flame to notice his fingers were black. He wiped it on his pants though and continued giving Zim his embarrassed yet confused look.

"When we were in high school." Zim said, pointing up as if to a thought bubble that would replay the memory. "Many of our peers called you several names. When I looked them up they all traced back to the word 'homosexual' which 'gay' is most commonly slang for."

Dib frowned. "They also called you a 'retard' but you're not, are you?" He sighed. "Humans say things to others to get them upset. It doesn't matter if it has any truth to it or not, as long as it hurts, and that's their main objection. To make words hurt." He looked down, fumbling with his napkin.

"Some of them are true." Zim mentioned, looking down at his own napkin.

The lady came around picking up their menus and taking the order from Dib, then leaving again.

"I'm not gay." He pouted. "And anyway, wouldn't you rather be kidnapped by a straight guy than a gay guy? At least you know I won't even try to rape you."

"What's wrong with being gay?" Zim asked innocently, completely oblivious to the implications.

"L-l-lots of things! F-for example… Gay guys… they're… 'wrong', you know? They like other men and that's disgusting... On top of that, even if it isn't 'wrong' to be gay, they get beaten up for it, thrown in trashcans and actually raped for it themselves… so, so yeah… There's something wrong with being gay..." He played with his napkin more, blushing.

Zim's fists clenched in his lap and he stared down at the napkin, that... hurt feeling was back.

"You humans and your social insecurities..." He mumbled.

Dib looked up with a 'huh?"

"What do you mean?" He slowly began feeling better that Zim and him were making progress, even if it was on a topic such as 'gay'.

"Anything different is always 'wrong'." Zim said, trying to keep his face straight as he looked up at Dib. "Would you... throw me in a trash can?"

Zim knew that was a stupid question, of course Dib would, they were enemies, they hated each other!

"After all the years I've known you? You deserve better torture like getting ripped to shreds, being pulled apart, being thrown in a bathtub… not something so -degrading- as a trashcan, or that would be what I deserve too… and I'd much rather be ripped to shreds than being dumped in a trashcan." He smirked, and something dawned on him. "You're gay?" He looked up at his bride-to-be with a look of total shock.

"If you're asking if I prefer men to women, then yes, I do, female irkens are... well let's just say YOU wouldn't survive a night with one." Zim said, poking a finger in Dib's direction. "Something about repressed nesting instincts or something is the excuse they give us in the academy."

"Weird..." was all Dib said, finding this bit of new information maybe even a little bit scary.

The lady came up and sat down their plates and drinks, walking off in marvel of 'what a cute couple'.

Dib began sucking on his alcoholic beverage thinking back. "So all this time I've been fighting you; I've really been fighting a gay alien?" He thought harder. "You… don't get off on torture, do you?" Either answer Zim would leave Zim in a lose-lose situation.

Zim, unfortunately, had no nose for which his soda could make it's excite so he choked on it for a bit before saying, "What, n-no, I don't NOT get off on torture. Though I was under the impression that you did as you kept coming back for more of it." He smirked at the last part before grabbing the syrup and pouring it onto his pancakes.

Dib popped a shrimp in his mouth, glaring at that remark. "Kept coming back… HA! That's why I've been putting YOU through more torture lately than myself, huh?" Dib snorted at the very THOUGHT of him getting off on torture by ZIM of all… things. He sipped down more of his daiquiri, and popped in more shrimp.

Zim completely forgot about the conversation as he could practically taste Dib's breakfast of evil fishy things. He cut up some of his on food and stuck a good portion of that into his mouth to get rid of the evil taste.

When he finally regained thought at the wonderful sweetness of his pancakes he replied, "You're just trying to provoke me into giving you the pain you so crave. Admit it, Zim is the sexiest future ruler of the Earth you have ever laid your unworthy eyes upon and you hunger for me to hurt you."

Dib looked over at Zim setting oh so near by. "Not only is that wrong on the bases of I am NOT trying to provoke you... but it's also wrong on the fact that you're not sexy, not the future ruler of earth, and I do NOT, repeat, do NOT get enjoyment out of you hurting me. I don't want that." Dib drank a big portion of his drink, setting it down with a light 'thump'. "The very thought of me wanting you to… hurt me… gives me goose bumps!" He pouted, and looked around a few people looking at them.

That's right. They were a couple. Practice.

He swiftly yet smoothly pulled his arm around Zim's shoulder.

Zim tauntingly dragged a claw down the side of Dib's face and said, "I know, I know, I am so charismatic it intimidates you to speak of me in such a way, but rest assured I get just as much pleasure out of hurting you as you do receiving the pain, so why don't we hurry up with breakfast, we go back to my base, and I beat you like the Dib-slave you are."

Dib winced and blushed. "No, HONEY, I think not." He coughed, obviously trying to mask his embarrassment. Though, the way he had said it so deviously and so smoothly, without a beat and not getting at all upset by everything Dib had said... it did trigger intimidation in a sense, if only for the moment.

"Anyway, I didn't think you'd get that much pleasure out of me." He said more calmly so other people wouldn't listen in. "If you get as much pleasure out of hurting me as you think I do out of it..." He shifted uncomfortably. "Claws off my face, dear?"

Zim snickered at his obvious victory and removed his hand, relocating it back over to his fork so he could take a few more bites of his food.

Dib took his own arm back to pick at his shrimp, pouting the whole time. He had lost.

He hated losing.

It was like a loss for earth but worse, because it was HIM that was losing against ZIM.

Zim looked at Dib for a moment, his look changing from victorious to thoughtful in a split second. He decided to ask what was on his, after all, Dib now knew an interesting face about Zim, now it was Zim's turn to know, "Dib, why is it you stick up for Earth when all of your fellow earthenoids seem to hate you?"

That was easy. Dib poored down more of the drink. "Because no matter how big of jerks they are, nobody deserved to be a slave or to be killed unless their intentions are just that." He pointed to Zim with a lazy finger. "Like you. Now you're my slave which I can kill." He sipped more on his drink, feeling a little tipsy. "I don't care for the jerks, but they're all I've got and yeah… don't deserve it. None of them." His drink was done with.

Zim shook his head. "You are impossible to understand. You're pretty much martyring yourself for a lost cause. The armada will come eventually, maybe not in your life time, or in my life time, but they will come."

"Then why haven't they yet?" Dib asked, holding onto the table so he wouldn't lean over and fall.

"This planet is worthless to them." Zim said before giving Dib a quizzical look and asking, "Are you alright?"

"I'm a little bit tipsy." He looked over at Zim, grinningly. "Aren't you? Isn't this room? Wait, no, it's me. Yeah. Yeah. Me." He looked over. "Are you done eating? Would you like anything more?"

"Yeah," Zim said, inching a little bit away. "I would LIKE for you to stop acting weird."

"Oh, Hun." He put his arms around Zim evilly and grinned. "I'm not acting weird. Check please!" He rose a hand and a lady came by with the check in which he put his credit card back down and started to nuzzle Zim some more.

Zim shuttered but thought better of pushing Dib off of him, after all, they were in public.

"Dib, what do you think you're doing?" He whispered harshly.

"Being evil, Lumpkins." He said deviously, smirking before one handedly taking back his credit car and fetching twenty dollars to put on the table as a tip.

"W-well stop!" Zim whispered so as not to draw attention though it was a little late for that. "You're pissing me off."

He brought his nose up to Zim's cheek, grinning. "Whatever you say, Darling." and he let go, standing up.

Zim shot Dib a glare before standing up as well, following Dib out of the restaurant. "I hope you don't plan on driving like that." Zim said, suddenly not trusting Dib at all.

Dib stumbled but caught himself. "What me? I'm fiine. I've done this a MILLIONTH times already done. Don't wooooorryyyy." He held the restaurant's doors open for Zim.

"Like hell you're fine." Zim growled, and, grabbing Dib's arm, pulled him out of the restaurant and said, "We're walking, Dib-stink."

Dib glared, mumbling something under his breath as Zim directed him, something along the lines of 'you're not my father!' But he sighed, letting it go as he tried to regain his balance every once in a while.

"Why not… I've done it before and nothing happened…" He pouted but let Zim in complete control of him.

"Because you car is a death trap on wheels as it is, I'm NOT letting you drive drunk and get us killed!" Zim almost shouted.

Dib glared the other direction and successfully fell on the floor. "Damn it!" It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was suppose to practice acting like he loved Zim and he had been doing hardly ANY of that today-instead he got intoxicated and looked like a fool to random passerby, and of course, Zim. "Fuck it all! He can go to hell!!"

Zim took a step back; worried Dib was mad at him or something and was going to use that nifty shocky thing in his pak to hurt him for it

"Wh-who can go to hell?" He asked, looking down at Dib curiously.

Dib glared back but his glare soon fell soft once his eyes hit Zim's scared expression. He sighed. "Dad… Who the fuck else..." His eyes trailed the ground as he shakily got off of the pavement.

Zim was afraid that would be the answer. Did that mean... did that mean the deal was off? Would Dib just get rid of him now? He couldn't move, too scared to do something that would make Dib mad again and could only stare at the human expectantly, waiting for what he was sure was going to come.

Dib pulled himself up and slopping down at each step closer to Zim, embraced him like he had before during their first practice, but was instead not tense at all, and not at all forced.

Zim's eyes widened in shock for a moment before he embraced back, letting out a sigh of relief that he was allowed to live... for now.

"Are you ok?" He asked on compulsion.

"Yeah..." He mumbled drowsily, putting more weight on the Irken as his knees almost gave out on him. "I'm just fine. You're pretty as a girl, Zim. Did you know that? Heheh… 'Zimma'?"

Zim blushed and stared at a wall close to them before saying, "Yes, yes, Zimma is amazing. Now we should probably get you home and something more solid than just shrimp and booze to soak up all that nasty in your belly."

"Fiiiine, fiiine. Let's gooo theeeen." He whined. Walking was going to take forever, but he did as Zim told him to and let go of him to wobble onwards towards home.

"Heheh… Hey… Zim? You called it… 'home'." He giggled after a little while of walking.

Zim's blush which had JUST gone away, come back with a vengeance. "That liquid stupid has a bad hold of your brain, Dib-worm. Yes I said 'home' but was referring to it as being your home."

Dib chewed on that thought a bit. "Maybe you're right." He looked around. "But I like drinking. I try to every time I get out of the house and into a restaurant."

"Why?" Zim asked. "What possible purpose could destroying your brain and liver serve other than to slowly kill you?"

Dib stopped walking for a moment to try to remember why. What was the reason again? He thought long and hard on it. When he couldn't remember the reasoning behind it, he continued on, tripping a bit, but not as bad as he first had when he left the building.

"It's stronger on me in the mornings and at night… and… I like it for some reason. Makes me feel... Something… Like if I'm sad, I can feel sadder… when I'm happy, I feel happier… when I'm angry, I feel angry, but more importantly, I feel... It's real… yet… not real." He began leaning up against Zim's shoulder for support.

"That's stupid." Zim said simply, wrapping an arm around Dib's waist and putting one of Dib's arms over his shoulder to help the human walk.

"Why's that?" Dib turned his head to ask the girlier figure.

"Because that's just killing yourself over stupid feelings. You only have one life, Dib, why waste it trying to change what is? Why not go out and make new feelings?" Zim said, looking up at Dib with a 'you're an idiot' face on.

"It won't kill me…" Dib mumbled. "Not if I don't drink too muchs." His head hung low watching a bug they passed by and changed his attention elsewhere. "And anyway, you want me dead so it doesn't matter to you."

"Dib," Zim said, sighing, ashamed to admit this. "If I wanted you dead, don't you think you'd be dead by now?"

Dib cringed, realizing this. "Yeah..." He hung his head low. "Does this mean I'm suicidal? Cause I don't really know now and you make it sound like it is and I'm getting confused and the floor is still spinning."

"Then don't look at the floor!" Zim chastised. "And no, it doesn't mean you are suicidal... just stupid."

"Oh," Dib looked up at Zim instead, tripping in the process. "That makes sense, I think." They reached his house and the house instantly unlocked itself for Dib and he fumbled himself in there, waiting for Zim.

Zim walked in and shut the door behind him, looking around like something was going to jump out at him before looking back so Dib and asking, "So what now?"

"Now I eat something, drink something, get over this weirdness and Zim does whatever the hell Zim feels like doing." He wobbled over to the kitchen.

Zim followed Dib into the kitchen, shoving him onto one of the bar stools and looking around the nice, expensive kitchen, asking, "What do you need all this for? Do you even cook half the time?"

He shook his head and started looking around the kitchen for something starchy to cook to negate the effects of the alcohol.

"And you know I was talking about your dad, and the engagement."

"Oh… um… that... Nah… it's still on. I just had a little melt-down back there… that's all…" Dib sat on the stool a little dizzy, not expecting Zim to take over and try to cook for his benefit.

"Eh, oh well, it was worth a shot." Zim said jokingly before growling and using the counter to give him a boost to reach for something too high for him to reach. "Why do you keep your bread so high up!?"

Dib pulled out of his seat and took Zim by the waste pulling him down. "Because I'm tall." He said, leaning over and pulling the bread down and handing it to Zim before slouching back down into the stool.

Zim grumbled like a child who'd just been told 'no desert until you eat your spinach!'

He shook off his annoyance at Dib and his... HEIGHT and opened the fridge, pulling out various sandwhicy things and asking, "Is there anything you don't like on sandwiches?"

"Pickles… mustard… ketchup… The rest is fine…" He rested his spinning head on the counter, eternally grateful towards Zim to doing this, although he wasn't quite sure. "Hey, Zim… Why are you trying to get me sober?"

"Because you're scary drunk." Zim said simply as he put the three items back in the fridge and set to work making the sandwich.

Dib mumbled. "How so? You should be more scared when I'm not drunk because I like hurting you more then." He nodded, agreeing with himself.

"The hurting I can handle." Zim said. "It's the touches I don't like. At least I can tell you don't care when you're sober. But when you're drunk it kinda feels like you do, and I don't like that."

Dib stared at him with his head resting comfortably on the counter. "Why not..? You're human, aren't you?" Dib asked, obviously not listening to himself thanks to the tipsiness.

"Of course not!" Zim said as if that offended him, which it did. He put the sandwich in front of Dib and said, "Eat." Before turned and getting a glass from the counter and using the fridges automatic ice and water dispenser to make Dib a glass of water, putting that down next to the plate.

Dib had already forgotten what was said to offend Zim so this sudden personality change startled him.

He picked up the sandwich and began munching on it a bit, taking a sip of his water every now and then. "Hank hyuu Hiimm" Dib thanked Zim as he munched on more food and drank more water, unsure exactly why again.

"Your brain meats have turned to goop, yes?" Zim asked, leaning on the counter far away from the water.

"Let's just hope you sober up before we have to meet up with your father... you know we have to go get your car too."

He munched on more sandwich and swallowed before speaking again. "I'll probably send some one out to get it… M'mmm, yeeeeah… But I'll probably sober up before six… it's… hours away… not… sure how many exactly, but its hours, I'm sure… I think." He continued eating his sandwich till it was gone.

Zim looked at the wall clock, and said, "It's ten now, which means about eight hours."

Dib snorted. "I'll be better in an hour or less!" He took his water and chugged it down, similarly to how he just whooshed away his alcohol earlier.

"You are hopeless, Dib-worm." Zim said, sighing and yawning.

Dib got up a little wobbly still but better, and put up the glass and plate, walking over to Zim and placing his hand on the other's shoulder. "You're tired..? Did you get any sleep last night? You've got a room. Want to nap?" He asked gingerly towards the other.

"No, I'm not tired. But a nap would be nice." Zim said, standing up straight. He didn't give Dib a smile of thanks or anything, the human's... caring unnerved him.

Dib frowned as he watched the Irken just walk away with him. He seemed almost depressed about something.

Zim didn't even bother removing his clothes or disguise; he simply plopped down onto the bed and sighed. He was SO confused. He HATED being confused!

The Dib was what was doing it. He was acting so strangely. One minute they're almost having fun, teasing each other and laughing, the next Dib's drunk and acting all... affectionate, then he's angry, then he's sad, then he's joking around yet still depressy.

What confused him most though was that he liked the affection, he wanted more of it, but it hurt because he knew once the Dib was right in his head again he'd never get it.

Dib sighed and walked over to the living room, plopping on the couch and turning on the TV. When nothing good was on, he napped himself on the couch.

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib: THe ALmighty Smallest!


	5. Chapter 5

YAY! Chapter five! WOO! And early too... nah not really. This is just because TSI and myself have decided to update twice a week instead of once so you all can get TWICE the action every week! Innit that GREAT!?

Any way, um, no... that's it. Enjoy... Oh wait, yeah, beta'ed by some one awsome!

Beta: (devART) Links Angels!

* * *

It was about one when Dib woke up again. He breathed in a cold whiff of air, the TV still buzzing in the background. His head hurt, but not too badly. He propped himself up and recalled all that happened. Zim had taken a nap as well, that's right.

Up in the bedroom, Zim had finally forced his pak to shut down and now, over three hours later it found no logical reason to wake him up, so he lay there, hugging a pillow to himself and sleeping soundly.

Dib adjusted his glasses, sighing mid-yawn, and made his way up the stairs, farther away from the buzzing TV and closer to his personal queen.

He snuck into Zim's room. Crap, he was still asleep!

Tip-toeing over and squatting on the floor, he rested his head inches away from Zim's face.

"Boo!"

Zim jumped and fell half way off his bed, catching him self on his arms so he didn't fall completely. "The Hell was that for?" Zim asked grumpily, climbing back on to sit on the bed.

It had appeared Dib returned to normal. "I was awake. You were asleep. Math. Quite easy." Lament terms, he was bored.

"Hate you." Zim mumbled, falling sideways onto his pillow and swearing something at Dib in Irken.

Dib peered over, grinning deviously. "You too, dear. You too." He stood up straight again, ruffling his hair.

"Now that we're awake- what d'ya wanna do?"

Zim picked himself up and fixed his wig, saying, "Oh, there are lots of things I'd like to do to you, DARling, but that would be illegal."

"Never stopped you before, Sugar-pie!" Dib teased back, smirking. Whatever this mini battle was, he was winning.

"Well, there is also that whole thing that if I access my pak I'll, you know, die." Zim said, crossing his arms and glaring at Dib.

"Oh yes. I had almost COMPLETELY forgotten about that." He grinned, folding his arms and lied. "Doesn't this sort of make you my SLAVE?"

Zim scowled angrily at Dib and climbed off the bed to get out of the room and away from Dib. A cheer came from behind him.

"Victory for Earth!" Dib stuck his arms in the air, snickering as he followed Zim out, despite how obvious it was Zim wanted away from him.

"Your whole planet can just fuck itself!" Zim called behind him, stomping in a rage down the stairs.

Dib smirked harder. "And your whole planet can just kill themselves!" He peered downstairs.

"I HOPE YOU ARE VIOLATED BY A HAM DEMON!" Zim yelled, moving to sit on the couch and pout.

"Violated.. by.. a HAM demon? Why violated?" Dib asked, stepping down the stairs gracefully.

"Because you cannot simply DIE, Dib, you must experience pain, oh the pain you must feel before you can escape into the cold mercy that is death." Zim said, his voice a hiss towards the end.

"Too bad that'll never happen _to me _huh?" Dib leaned over the couch, smirking like before.

"Don't be too sure, Dib_-loathe_." Zim said, mocking the pet name he used for Dib when they were in public. "My hate for you right now is unmatched, if this continues I may have to break our deal due to clawing out my own eyes and ripping off my own antennae just so that I don't have to hear or look at you."

"Self mutilating?" His smirk went away to give a curious look. "You're emo for real, Zim?"

"Will you leave me alone if I say yes?" Zim growled.

"Will you hurt yourself if I leave you alone?" Trick question, but Zim didn't have to know that.

"Why would you care?" Zim asked before narrowing his eyes and adding, "Or is it that you want to watch?"

"You are emo, aren't you?!" Dib hopped over the head of the couch to plop down next to Zim. "And here you were teasing me about me wanting to be hurt by you- and here this whole time YOU wanted to hurt YOURSELF. Oh, the irony." He smirked, pulling in closer.

"I want the drunk Dib back." Zim said, looking away.

A sudden, rather disturbing thought came to mind and he quickly grabbed Zim's arm. "Is this why you always wear those gloves?" He frowned and stripped the glove off to look at the arm he was holding to get a good look of the underside.

"No, but I've tried there." Zim yanked his arm back pulling it into the sleeve as if it were cold. "But wrists are to dangerous considering how lean my muscles are and how delicate my skin is. I just don't like to be touched."

"You've TRIED there?" Dib quickly pushed Zim down on the couch, pinning him by his shoulders. "What the hell is WRONG with you!? Hurting yourself?! Are you serious?!"

"GET OFF!" Zim screamed. Dib's panic was more than enough to freak him out. "GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!!! Don't start acting like you know what you're talking about, because you don't!!!"

Dib glared down at the Irken. "Not until you tell me where you hurt yourself and promise you wont do it again."

"Not anywhere your DADDY'll see if THAT's what you're worried about, Dib-shit!" Zim yelled.

Dib held his breath, staring down at Zim, startled. He hadn't thought about that at all, and that's where Zim's mind goes?

He recovered from his shock quickly to glare and yell louder at Zim. "NO! That's NOT the FUCK what I'm worried about!! I'm NOT worried! I'm FUCKING PISSED that my worst enemy would degrade himself so low as to purposefully hurt HIMSELF. Why the hell shouldn't I be angry!? You're making YOURSELF weak! What's the purpose in THAT, you green bug?! I don't WANT you to hurt yourself! I want to hurt you bastard!" Dib yelled with a tinge of hurt in him, anger overflowing just as quickly as his words.

Zim cringed slightly at the yelling and said softly, "It-it was... when we first got out of hi-skool. You left for months and months and months and I couldn't get any calls through to my leaders... I still can't, for some reason my transmissions aren't reaching them. I didn't know what else to do. My- my mission... the armada has moved so far away." Zim looked on the verge of tears, but he wouldn't, couldn't, let himself cry in front of Dib.

Dib's facial expression softened, but he still looked very pissed. "You don't still do it, do you...?"

Zim looked away, feeling slightly ashamed of himself.

"S-sometimes, but not as often... they heal too fast and I like to see the scars." He said quietly.

Dib finally pulled up away from Zim, and looked down on his laying, ashamed body before looking the other direction. He sat as normal and let out a heavy sigh. "Only I am aloud to hurt that body of yours..." He mumbled, a little depressed now.

"Screw you..." Zim said, just laying there. He words had no bite to them anymore. He didn't care. Without his pak he felt useless, but he didn't want to die.

The human sighed. "I'm sorry I left you alone after high school…. If it was up to me, you know I wouldn't. I would have stayed here and protected Earth." He sighed again. "I had college. I was the fastest student they had because I wanted to get back as soon as possible." He refused to look at the Irken Invader. "Just promise me… that you wont hurt yourself as long as you live with me, okay…?"

"Not like you'll know if I do anyway." Zim frowned, pulling himself up and pulling his knees up to his chest again.

Dib sighed. "Then I'll just have to follow you everywhere then, and not give you a second to be alone, so I can make sure you don't do anything STUPID like hurt yourself." He glared at the wall in front of them.

"Yeah, good luck with that..." Zim said, narrowing his eyes at the wall. "And why do you even care if I'm acting stupid?"

"We're equals. I'm only as smart as my enemy I cannot defeat, same with you. If you do stupid things, it makes me stupid cause I cant beat you. And- like I said. You're body is mine to hurt."

"You're an ass." Zim said, standing up and making his way back up the stairs, to which Dib quickly got up and followed him, keeping true to his word.

Zim stopped and sighed, turning back to look at Dib with defeat shining in his eyes before quickly turning back and sprinting for his room.

"ZIM!" Dib slid himself through his door before he had the chance to shut it on him. "I mean it you know."

Zim glared steaming hatred at Dib before diving for his closet, unable to lock himself in it though he barricaded himself in, yelling, "Leave me alone! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"No! I don't want you going emo in there!" He growled, banging his fists on the door. "Let me in!!"

"LIKE HELL!" Zim screamed through the door, huddling up in a corner and hoping Dib got tired of him and either walked away or killed him.

Dib slid down the door. "Why wont you let me in?" He asked, trying to calm himself down now.

"Because I hate you and I want to be left alone." Zim said simply. He pulled his still ungloved hand back into his sleeve now, it actually being cold this time.

Dib growled softly against the door, still trying to keep himself calm. "And what if I started cutting myself? How'd that make you feel?" After asking that question, he immediately wanted to take it back. He sighed. "Just stop.."

"I can't stop." Zim said, once more close to crying. "And it's not like I even do it that often."

Dib slid the closet door open staring sadly at the alien on the other side. "Then I wont leave you alone..."

"It doesn't matter anyway." Zim said, looking at one of the walls that made up the corner he was in. "I will only use one thing to cut and that's in my pak which I can't get into."

Dib stared and finally loosened some. "Zim? You know.. you'll make a great bride... I'll try to make things better with you for as long as we're stuck together..."

Zim snapped a confused gaze towards Dib before narrowing his eyes in suspicion. "Why?"" He asked, "Why would you do that for me?"

Dib blushed, finding his own corner to stare at now. "I.. I don't know.. I don't want to see you like this is all.. so I want to make things better.."

"Would you let me go?" Zim asked hopefully.

"Yeah, after this is all done and through with." He said thoughtfully, looking at the human dirt and mud on Zim's face, affectionately called 'make-up'.

"You know.. you don't have to put that on anymore, I think..." He gestured to Zim's face.

"It's already on there." Zim said, standing up. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Uh.. yeah.. but next time.. you wont have to." He stood up himself, half feeling Zim would make a dart for it if he didn't.

Zim kept his bare hand behind his back and fidgeted nervously before asking, "Can I have my glove back. I really want it."

"Yeah.. it's on the couch..." He mumbled, starting to walk out of Zim's room, keeping a watchful eye on the alien.

Zim made his way down to the living room, finding his glove half hanging off the couch and quickly grabbed it and put it on.

"Zim..? Are you--" He stopped mid sentence, stepping into the living room. "Never mind. You'll hate the question."

"Stop doing that. Stop starting questions you never want to finish, either think about what you're going to say before you say it or ask the damn question." Zim said with little feeling.

"Fine. Geese! I was going to ask if you were going to be alright..." He pouted, flumping down onto the couch.

Zim sat back down in the corner of the couch he claimed as his own and sighed before saying, "Zim is fine... will be fine. Do not worry."

"Good! ...cause I wasn't." He picked up the remote and tossed it to Zim. Today was going to be a horribly long day, he knew it.

Zim flicked the TV on and channel surfed until he found a horror movie. Those always cheered him up! "How much longer until we meet your father?"

"A couple of hours." He mumbled. "Oh, that's right! My car!" He fumbled in his pocket to pull out a cell phone and he immediately began to text message something.

Zim rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the movie, having to try and hold in a giggle when one of the female characters was eaten by a tentacle monster while taking a shower.

When Dib finished, he looked up at the screen. "Tentacles." He mumbled, giving it an odd look. These sorts of things annoyed him. He found them neither scary or funny. Just so unrealistic.

Zim hid the remote in the couch incase Dib ever felt like changing it. He liked movies with lots of human blood splatter, and there was plenty in this movie, so by the time it was over Zim was smiling widely again, almost having forgotten today's reason for hating Dib.

* * *

Dib: TSI

Zim: ME!


	6. Chapter 6

-wriths in happiness- OMG! I love you ALL! Such awsome reviews! -dies-

* * *

Dib looked boredly at the credits. "Well… I suppose now we should go. Are you ready to 'meet' Dad?" His eyes glazed over at Zim.

Zim's smile vanished in the blink of an eye. "Oh yeah." He said, having forgotten about it. "I suppose we should."

Dib stood up and out reached a hand for Zim, who took it reluctantly. "Well, My Lady… Let us go and abandon this place for a bit, huh?"

Dib led him out of the house, the house automatically locking as always behind him. He led 'her' to the passenger's side of the car that had been brought back. He opened the door, trying to be as gentlemanly as possible.

Zim got into the car without a word, not feeling up to starting an argument anyhow.

Dib didn't need to say anything either. He just went in on his side of the car and pulled out, driving in silence to the way to the restaurant.

Once there Zim only slunk lower in his seat. What if Membrane noticed? Would he be dissected or studied first?

Dib glanced over and then glanced back on his parking. "You're too tense, Hun." He said as he stepped out of the car and walked on over to Zim to open the door and help 'her' out of the car seat.

"Yeah, well, meeting _the _Professor Membrane does that to some people." Zim said, letting Dib help him out of the car.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll do fiiine, I sweeear. Dad will love you, I'm sure." He directed 'her' into the building, and to the front where he called for the 'Membrane' table and the woman checked her list.

Zim fidgeted nervously, actually holding onto Dib's arm for some comfort.

Dib rested his hand on Zim's arms that were tied around his as he softly and smoothly walked them over to the table the waitress directed to. He let 'her' sit down first in a seat he pulled out, before sitting in his own seat that he instinctively scooted closer towards Zim's.

"Hi, father. I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Zimma." He raised Zim's hand in the air to show the ring.

Zim did his best to smile for the professor, pushing his nervousness away and accomplishing the smile rather well.

"Wonderful!" Membrane almost yelled. Though you couldn't see it behind the lab coat and goggles you could tell he was proud, oh so very proud. "I am so glad you finally decided to find a nice girl to settle down with. But tell me, her skin, does she have the same skin condition as that funny looking child you used to chase around all the time?"

Dib calmly breathed in and out. This was going to be easier than he thought if he just stayed calm. "Yeah. Zimma-Dear has it too. It's something one is born with apparently." He smiled softly. "But she's a bit sensitive about it."

"Well, what line of work is she in?" Membrane asked, leaning back in his seat as he started his little parental interview.

Zim kept quiet, hoping Dib would be able to come up with something believable.

Dib wasn't expecting this!

He kept on his sweet smile, and while thinking for something, he nervously rubbed Zim's leg, hoping that nervousness of 'what the fuck am I doing?' would stimulate his brain. "She studies Astronomy… Movements of planets. She could give you a run down on anything about how galaxies in the universe work and about black holes and all about that!" He bit back a nervous fidget he wanted to give. Surely, ZIM, who's traveled many a galaxies to come to Earth, would know SOMETHING about all that, wouldn't he? He looked back at Zim, giving him a sweet smile that if Zim looked hard enough could trace fear all over.

"Right, Hunny?"

"Ye-yeah," Zim said in a quiet, not liking Dib's hand being so close to-

He stopped that train of thought instantly feeling as though Membrane could read his mind or something. Then, just for good measure she added, "Well, I'm currently looking for a steady job at the moment, I just sort of did some astronomy work for the military for a year or two."

"I seeeee," Membrane said with a finger to his chin. "So, what is your family like, you know, your child hood and stuff like that?"

Zim threw Dib a quick glare before piecing together how his childhood would match up to that of a human child's while simultaneously explaining it, "I, um, don't really have a family, I grew up in the education system with a majority of other- uh children, like me. You know, skin condition, no parents."

Dib shifted his glance from one another feeling his heart burst out of his chest. "You know what? Let's order. Waiter!" He raised his hand and a man in a tux came over.

"You called, sir?"

"Why yes. Um, we'd like to order, if that would be okay. Hunny, what would you like?" He turned to Zim again.

"Um, whatever you're having as long as there's no, you-know-what on it." Zim said, hoping Membrane wouldn't ask about the you-know-what.

Membrane ordered and looked Zim up and down. She seemed nice, smart, and she was pretty enough, but he wanted to know about that skin condition. He'd wanted to know when Zim was around but the child was too young to experiment on.

Dib nodded. "I'll have two plates of the spaghetti, please…"

"Would you like that one GIANT plate, sir?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know. In the movie with the little mongrellish pooches. Spaghetti sir. Would you like to SHARE it with your lovely lady?"

Dib blushed, now catching on. "Uh. Um. Yeah, sure. Why not." He looked back from Zim to the man. "She'll have…" What drink doesn't have water? He can't order her soda here, either. Not classy. "We'll...We'll share wine. Get me the best you've got. Dad? What would you like?"

"Just water, the bottled kind please." Membrane said, nodding to the waiter to get their orders in.

He continued asking questions, each one getting more and more personal until the food came.

Dib looked concernedly at the water but tried to dismiss the awful feeling about that. He looked at the giant plate of spaghetti being shared by him and Zim, and he pulled his fork out and began twisting in the noodles.

He distracted himself though on sheer fact that he was so nervous. He wanted wine!

He got the wine poured it in for him and Zim and quickly began sipping on his own.

Zim gave Dib a pointedly sweet look and pinched him under the table as a warning. He did NOT want what happened early that day to happen again.

Membrane took a break from his questioning to eat his own food. Some kind of fancy chicken with alfredo sauce thing. He took a few bites and finally asked the one question every new couple dreads being asked by parents.

"When am I going to get grandchildren?"

Poking. Prodding. Snap.

Dib choked on his whine some, and was forced to stick the glass down as he pounded his chest, coughing.

Once that was over, he gave Membrane a shocked look. "D-Dad! It's a LITTLE early to be talking about that… Really it is."

"It's never too early to have children!" Membrane said almost happily. "Why, you're mom and I weren't even married when we tried to have our first child. Of course it didn't turn out so well, neither did the second, but we kept trying, and then we tried some more!"

Zim made a mental note to ask Dib where babies came from and why he was so weirded out at the prospect of having one.

Dib's face increased in its redness. "DAD! I REALLY don't need to hear about that. That is GROSS. Too much information, thank you." He adjusted his napkin and started turning some noodles in his fork again.

Zim poked at his noodles a bit, his eyes shifting back and forth between the two. He then sighed, realizing that between Dib's father's pestering, Dib's paranoia and 'not worry' that he'd hurt himself again, and his own trouble making, he and Dib were going to be stuck together for a VERY long time.

Dib decided to change the questioning for the better. After eating a forkful of the noodles he asked his father. "What about you? How's work?"

"Work is going GREAT!" Membrane said excitedly. "We just got this new scanner developed and now we're going to use it to look further into certain animals' biology. It let's us see EVERYTHING under the skin depending on frequency. Like on one frequency you can see veins, on another you can see organs, and so on."

Zim paled slightly. Dear Irk did hearing Membrane talk about the uses of that scanner make him feel ever so uncomfortable.

Dib nervously fidgeted, smiling and deciding right now would be a good time to place his arm around Zim, not only for show but to calm both of them down some. "That's great, Dad! Hey, what do you think of Zimma? Do you think she'd be a great daughter-in-law or what? She's wonderful, isn't she? Just great. Wonderful personality, great humor, and her ambition is unbeatable!!" He smiled, squeezing the other tightly.

Zim blushed. He knew Dib was just saying that for the sake of his father, but he liked to be complimented.

Membrane put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment, making Zim squirm a little, before saying, "I like her. She'll be a great daughter in law and, eventual, mother!"

Dib's face dropped before it picked back up. "Right. Mother, eventually. You do know though, right, Dad that it may even be years before we try for a child?"

"What are you talking about? That's the whole reason I wanted you to get married in the first place." Membrane said.

Dib sighed. Was a grandchild that important to Dad?

"We're getting married because we love each other. We wont try for a baby until we're BOTH ready." Dib held Zim closer, feeling rather protective of him.

Zim leaned into Dib, needing to feel the protection the human was offering. He didn't like how single minded Membrane was about this.

One of Membrane's eyes narrowed but he shrugged and said, "Alright, well I should be getting back to the lab now." With that he pulled some money out of his wallet and set it on the table and added, "That should cover the meal, can you pick up the tip?"

Dib sighed, feeling the presence of a horrible event on the turn to go elsewhere. "Yeah, Dad. I'll get that." He wouldn't let go of Zim though until Membrane was totally out of view.

Membrane nodded and walked off, thanking the waiter on his way out.

Zim sighed and relaxed. That had to have been one of the scariest meetings he'd ever had!

Dib sighed too, finally letting go of Zim. "That… was horrible... nothing against you or me- just… the tension in the air was sooo thick." He sighed, sipping more wine. "I'm glad we finally got through it though..."

"No, I agree with you, Dib, I never want to have an interview session with your father EVER again." Zim said, sitting up and eating some of the pasta finally.

"And all of those BABY questions… UGH..." Dib twirled the noodles and stuck some in his mouth.

"Speaking of which." Zim said, chewing what was in his mouth before swallowing. "Why does the thought of smeets gross you out? How do you human's do it?"

Now Dib choked thanks to ZIM instead of his father. 'Do it' was a very appropriate question.

"Oh.. um.. Children don't gross me out.. its.. um.. what we need to do to GET children.. you see.. humans ... go through sexual intercourse in order to get our females pregnant- males providing the fertilization, and the females providing the eggs, and so we'd have sex to.." he coughed nervously. "make it possible to have a baby. The baby grows in the female's stomach for a while until it finishes developing, and she squeezes it out of her orphis." Dib said rather quickly, not skipping a beat while trying to choke down his blush.

Zim blinked for a moment, taking all of that in before asking, "Really? That's it?"

"Ye-yeah.. so you see, in order for us to have a child, we'd have to have sex, and you'd have to be female." Dib summed it up.

Zim gave Dib a knowing smile before turning back to his food and saying, "Oh, of course."

"What?" Dib asked, finding that oh so calm look suspicious, slurping up some noodles himself.

"You say your females are the ones to carry the eggs, well for irkens it is the other way around." Zim said.

"W-WHAT?" Dib asked, face bright red. "So-so you mean.. you and I.. we.. We could technically.. bea- What??" He wasn't quite sure if he liked the fact he could have a baby with Zim or not being able to have a baby with Zim better. They both sucked and scared him. If he could have a baby with him, he might have to.

"That's if Irkens and humans are compatible." Zim reassured, taking a sip of wine and cringing.

"That's… scary." Dib remarked, putting more food in his mouth and swallowing. "I want to appease Dad and all but… I view marriage and having children differently… Marriage is supposed to be a sacred bond… but with all of the divorce these days… I just can't see it anything more than dirt with a pretty sparkly name... however, children… that… that's sacred. That to me is mating, not at all the marriage part…"

"Dib, do you know what the odds are of me getting pregnant regardless is?" Zim asked but without waiting for an answer said, "So slim there isn't even a number for it. Why do you think we have to clone all our smeets?"

Dib let out a sigh of relief. That meant he wouldn't have to try!

"I didn't know anything about your 'smeets'." Dib said, putting the napkin to his face to wipe off the sauce.

"Hey… do you think its strange how early Dad left?" It's sad his mind wondered like this, but it did.

"I thought he always did stuff like that." Zim said sticking his tongue out and using his own napkin to get some of the sauce that Dib missed on his face.

Dib watched Zim do this, feeling his cheeks heat up. Why couldn't he move? Flinch? Anything? He couldn't even remember what they were talking about. "Z-Zim?"

"What?" Zim asked innocently, taking another sip of wine, the effects of the alcohol not as bad this time.

Dib regained the grasp over himself. "Uh-right!!" He finished his glass. "Do you wanna go home now? -- I mean… My home… but… Right. You know what I mean." he set the napkin down on the table.

Zim shrugged and stood up, eyeing Dib wearily and asking, "Are you ok to drive, and be honest, you're acting a little... not right in the head again."

Dib stood up. "How am I not acting right?" Dib asked. He felt fine, but he'd take Zim's word for it if he wasn't, and he could call somebody to pick them up. He didn't the first time; too drunk to remember.

"You weren't talking right just then, all... stuttery." Zim said. But Dib seemed alright now and the human's glass was barely half empty.

"Yeah… um… that's a reason not caused by the wine… I think I'm fine so… let's go…" Dib blushed, and put some money on the table as a tip and went and grabbed "Zimma's" arm to direct him out politely.

Zim let Dib lead him out; too busy at the moment debating whether or not he wanted to know what the human was stuttering about... It didn't take long for him to decide.

"So what caused it?"

"Human secret!" Dib grinned, remembering the time in the car Zim had given up after asking if it was that or not. He opened up the passenger side to let Zim in while he went on his own and sat in the driver's side.

Zim pouted as he got into the car, crossing his arms and legs before an idea came to him... the PERFECT way to get back at Dib for keeping secrets. He smirked. If there was one way to get at a human like Dib, anti-social and starved for attention, this would be it.

Dib pulled out and began driving onward for home. "What's up with you? Smiling like that… psh…" Dib mumbled as he glanced over towards Zim.

"Nuh-uh, but I promise I'll tell you when we get home- I mean your home." Zim mocked. He then moved his hands behind his head to grip the head rest and he slouched lower in his chair in a very 'I'm sexy and I know it' kind of way.

Dib glanced over and blushed a bit. "Um… Uh, Zim… Your skirt… It's getting pulled up by that…" He tried to keep his focus on the road.

"That's what the pants are there for." Zim said, slouching a little lower so that his position was easier on his back and not talking at all for the rest of the trip.

Dib felt it was very hard to not look at Zim the rest of the trip, but he had to force himself through it. That skirt..! It was taunting him! Pants or no pants- it just wanted to be pulled up and played with.

Dib got out of the car closing the door behind him, and walking straight to the door this time rather than the car door for Zim.

Zim strolled into the house, his hands behind his back innocently as he come up behind Dib and said, "Told you I'd tell you when we got to your home." And without even waiting for an answer he put his hand on Dib's shoulders and whisper into Dib's ear, making surely to breathe extra when he said it, "I'm not wearing any underpants."

Dib's face lit up and he had to hop away. "ZIM! DON'T DO THAT!!" He panted, taking a hold of his heart. "I don't like… you… being so… near… and… breathy… and… ... Most definitely do not need to know THAT." He fidgeted, the grasp over his heart calming the beats down.

Zim giggles grew louder and louder until he had to bend over double or risk falling flat on his face. "You are too easy, human." He said between laughs.

"You wanna know something else?" Zim practically purred when he was finally done laughing, walking slowly up to Dib, his hips swaying.

Dib fidgeted, keeping perfectly still. A step back would be a step towards defeat, and he could not show that to Zim when he felt in power.

"Wh-what's that?" Dib asked nervously.

Zim got as close as possible, wrapping his arms around Dib's neck and standing on his toes to whisper once more in Dib's ear, "My thighs..." He pulled back, giving Dib a completely serious look.

Dib held his blush. "W-what about your thighs?" He looked down to see Zim's inner thighs below his skirt, and back up to his eyes. "That's random…"

"You... wanted to know where I cut." Zim clarified, turning his gaze away. "I cut on my thighs."

Dib's face twisted some and he looked from Zim to his thighs to Zim again.

"I… I see… Why there..?"

"The skin of my inner thighs is still delicate, like my wrists, but there's very little danger in cutting there because though there are a lot of little tiny veins that get severed in the process they heal quickly unlike the bigger more important veins in my arms." Zim explained, shifting a little from foot to foot. "So like I said, you don't have to worry about it."

Dib sighed, running his fingers through his black hair. "Y-yeah, thanks for telling me... But I still kind of worry."

"Oh come on." Zim said, rolling his eyes. "After that stupid lice incident in Ms. Bitters' class do you really think a couple of small cuts to my thighs is going to hurt me?" Though this was a half lie, in fact, most of the cuts on his thighs were pretty big due to the fact he had more room to work than he did on his wrists.

"Yeah… your right. I must be out of my mind worrying about you." Dib gave a week laugh and looked over towards the door, letting his mind wonder to more dark things.

Zim sighed and said in a very bored voice, "I'm going to go through your movies." And he did, walking over to the stand next to the TV that held all of Dib's movies, leaving the human to his thinking.

Dib just stood there, trying to take a grasp of what just happened and what exactly he was thinking. Would Zim do this more? Did it even matter- cause like he said it would heal quickly and not bleed much... but still.

But the more important question is why IS he worried? He's going to marry this Irken. That's right. He can't have his wife being a cutter. Right, right.

Dib sighed and pulled himself to the couch. "What movie?"

Zim grumbled, asking, "Do you have, like, every alien movie ever made?" Finally he pulled out a movie and showed it to Dib, asking, "Does this one have aliens in it?"

"No... That one's about vampires." That wasn't much better. His lust for paranormal entertainment was unmatched.

"Oo, blood drainy things." Zim said, putting the movie in. He liked anything to do with blood leaving the body, knowing experiences like that could be just so painful. He crawled over to sit on the couch next to Dib when the movie started playing, not feeling as angry at the human as he had earlier that day.

Dib pulled his arms over the back of the couch, leaning back and enjoying the beautiful cinematography of the beginning of the film.

Zim leaned back, his head hitting Dib's arm and making him jump, having not noticed Dib move at all.

Dib jumped as well and quickly drew his arm back, pretending as though it never happened. His attention focused back onto the movie for a good while.

Ah yes; the 'turning into a vampire' scene. His favorite.

Zim did the same, only leaning forward with his chin on his knees instead of leaning back incase Dib put his arm back there. The movie confused him through out a good part of it but after a while everything seemed to click. "So the heroine is actually distantly related to the vampire?" Zim asked, turning his gaze to Dib.

"Uh- yeah, she just didn't know it… So that's why the Vampire wouldn't quite attack her directly because she wasn't like his sister, so he didn't really care if she was a vampire or not, but at the same time, it was really her blood that bound him to earth because of his feelings of being human." Dib explained lazily, not getting it perfectly himself, but not caring that much since he's seen this movie so much he usually kind of slept through it.

Zim nodded in understanding, turning back to the movie just as the bad guy finished his big, long expositive with a big explosion.

Dib smirked at the explosions. It was so human to enjoy explosions like these, wasn't it? He chucked maliciously while watching bodies dissolve.

Zim turned back to Dib and looked at the human with surprise.

Dib continued to snicker some and let out a sigh of contentedness when the scene was over.

Zim was completely surprised that Dib would laugh at something like human's getting blown up. It was completely not like him. "What's wrong with you?" He asked.

Dib looked over boredly at Zim. "What do you mean what's wrong with me?"

Zim shook his head and said, "Never mind, I forgot you were crazy."

"I'm _not _crazy. Tell me what is on your mind." Dib pouted. He hated it when Zim was this way with him.

Zim grumble something in irken before saying, "It's just weird watching you get a kick out of humans exploding."

Dib gave him a half-amused look. "It's only a movie. If it were to happen in real life, I'd be devastated... But… It's just a movie. Human nature, it's one of those things one can't help."

"Oh, maybe that's why it's not as amusing to me." Zim said, stretching. "It'd be ten times more fun if it were actual humans exploding."

Dib gave a "tch!" and focused back on the TV, now tuning out the Irken beside him.

Zim sighed, letting his mind wander when it came to an odd place. Dib hasn't seemed all that interested in him personally since this whole thing started. Hasn't asked him any questions about himself or his race or anything, it's like the human lost interest in him as anything more than a living doll he can just pull out of the closet when needed. This thought ended up depressing him and he sighed again.

Dib didn't catch the sigh, and just watched the end of the movie in a melancholy respect.

Zim watched the rest of the movie in silence until the credits started rolling to which he got up and in a rather disappointed tone, said, "I'm going to go to bed now."

"Alright. That sounds good. I'll go too, then." Dib mumbled standing up and sticking his hands in his pockets to follow Zim.

Zim made his way up the stairs, his thoughts continuing in the same direction they'd been going, each thought making him more and more depressed until they came to a stop at, 'Anything will do really...'

Dib followed the preoccupied Irken to his room, shutting the door softly behind him and yawning. "What's on your mind?"

Zim jumped and turned back to Dib, asking, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to bed. What does it look like?" He asked, taking off his spike collar.

"Is there something wrong with your room?" Zim asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah. You're not in it." Dib said calmly, working on his boots now.

"As sweet as that is I'd like to sleep by myself." Zim said, standing right where he was, not moving so he could watch Dib wearily.

Dib slipped his boots off and proceeded with his net-shirt. "You're gay though, so it shouldn't matter to you, right?"

"I sleep naked." Zim tried, taking a step back when he saw Dib start taking his cloths off.

Dib smirked at that remark, undoing his pants and letting them fall to reveal his boxers. "It should be fine as long as I keep my shirt and boxers on… Though I would prefer you to wear something as well or it'll feel a little awkward."

"D-Damnit Dib! Get out!" Zim yelled, pointing to the door.

Dib ignored his complaint for him, and just walked closer, giving a more serious look. "How's your chest?"

"My chest is fine now go away!" Zim said, poking his finger towards the door.

"If it's fine then..." He fiddled with his thumb to his wrist, sending an electrical shock through Zim's PAK and through his entire body.

Zim cried out and fell onto the floor, wanting badly to clutch at his back or just take his pak off and throw it at Dib's head but unfortunately could not. "Wha-what the hell was that for!?" Zim asked, looking up at Dib from his position on the floor.

"You seemed to have thought you were in charge." Dib said, walking over coolly and kneeling down to face Zim. "And you're not."

Zim glared at Dib and said in a quiet voice, "I don't want you to sleep with me. I don't like you and I don't want you so close to me when I'm trying to relax."

"I'm sorry; it's the way this is going to be. I don't trust you to sleep by yourself now." Dib said, looking kind of bored.

Zim looked down, chewing his bottom lip, trying to think of a way to get Dib to go away. "I-I already told you, I only use ONE thing to cut and it's in my pak."

Dib stared at him, studying every nervous fidget. He continued staring deeper and deeper at Zim. "That's only cutting."

"Please just go away." Zim whispered.

Dib sighed, finally giving up. "Fine, I'll leave you alone to sleep." He strolled over to grab his clothes.

Zim would have said thank you but didn't find it necessary, so he just sat there until Dib had his back turned as he began to pull off his clothes and disguise, setting the wig and lenses on the table next to the bed which he nearly hit when he fell over and pulling both shirts off, checking really quick to make sure his chest really was fine, which it was.

Dib retreated into his room where he sighed and pulled off his glasses. "Damn it, Zim..."

That was the last words he said that night before he fell into a dreamless sleep.

Zim didn't actually like to sleep naked, but he did like to sleep topless to let the areas around his pak some air as that thing got hot sometimes and they needed it especially tonight after that shock. He lay on his stomach and stared at the wall for a few hours before finally falling asleep, his antennae twitching every time he heard the house settle.

* * *

Zim/Membrane: ME!

Dib: TSI


	7. Chapter 7

Ok, things start to get a little... bad in this chapter. But the good kinda bad. The angst starts to come out and we learn that there are real problems between these two, more than the, 'Zim is an alien trying to take over the world and Dib is the only one who can stop him.' Problems.

* * *

Birds tweeted merrily outside the window.

Dib was sure he just wanted to take a rock and squish one of those annoying pip squeaks between a rock and a hard place.

He sighed, throwing his pillow over his head and tossing and turning.

The bed felt lumpy.

His blanket was wrapped like mad around his legs.

The pillow felt more like it hated Dib than embraced him.

And that bird! That bird just kept tweeting!

"FINE! I'm UP!" Dib was a bit irritated if one could not notice.

Zim twitched a bit in his sleep at Di's yelling, biting down on his pillow as if that would block the noise out.

Dib grumbled and got himself a new set of clothes, grumbling as he stomped towards the shower, making sure to slam whatever doors were in his way to his destination.

Zim finally sat up and took a minute to rub his eyes before glaring in the direction the door was slammed. After a moment though he simply sighed and pulled on a random bunch of cloths not even caring if they matched or not. He made a promise to himself as he dressed not to say anything. To just keep his moth shut. He knew if he could do that there would be a much better chance him not being shocked today.

The hot water pounded Dib angrily, as he mentally cursed himself for not sleeping in longer.

His mind traveled onto Zim. He didn't really have to practice being Zim's lover for a while until his father would want to check the situation out, and as far as he knew, that time was no way now. What was left to do? Zim couldn't be planning to take over the world, not like this anyway. What was he to do? He supposed he could do greater research in some of the myths, but since he proved most of them anyway, it was just sort of... empty because he didn't have much to fall back on. Once you get to the top of the mountain, where do you go? He sighed, turning off the water and pulling his towel on.

Zim went down to the living room to watch TV, silently. He had come to like old black and white comedies so he turned on that channel curled up like a cat in his little corner of the couch, his antennae twitching freely in amusement as wearing the wig for so long yesterday had been chaffing them.

Dib dried himself. "Maybe we should do something Zim would like to do today… since we're both free… and there's obviously not much left to do…" Dib thought out loud and pulling on the random black clothes he had pulled out for himself and stepping out to follow the noise of the TV. "Hey, Zim." He waved, walking over.

Zim just waved back before turning his attention back over to the TV.

Dib leaned over the couch, looking at the TV. "Hey- what would you like to do today?" Dib asked, flashing a smile that was only slightly forced.

'Rip your mouth off so you can't smile anymore.' Zim wanted to say, but didn't, instead he just shrugged as his antennae twitched again in silent laughter at something that happened on the TV.

Dib gave him an odd look. "Zim? Are you sick?...Do Irkens even get sick?" He asked, walking onto the other side of the couch to peer down at the girly-boy.

"No, Irkens do not get sick." Zim finally said. "I'm just trying not to get into any trouble, you make me want to say such vulgar things."

"Not like I'll shock you over anything. I've only done it once so far, right?" Dib gave him an 'I don't care anymore' expression as he plopped down on the couch lazily.

"But I wasn't even doing anything yesterday." Zim said, staring at the TV but no longer paying attention to it.

"Like shit. You were talking as if you were in charge. I don't mind some protests but really now..." He raised a brow at the Irken.

"There are only two things I absolutely will not tolerate Dib, I don't care what you do." Zim said, glaring at Dib. "I will not have you touching my skin and I will not share a bed with you. I would rather sleep on the floor, than share a bed with you."

Dib stared blankly and slightly curiously and brought his hand over to touch Zim's exposed midriff.

Zim shouted something in Irken and dived over the arm of the couch, just barely peeking over it to glare at Dib.

Dib smirked. "Victory for earth." He giggled, crawling over slowly. "You know what this means, right? That means I've got one up on you, you know." He narrowed his eyes, grinning deviously.

"Don't- don't touch Zim." Zim said, not moving from behind the arm of the couch. "Touching is bad, don't do it!"

"How is it bad?" Dib grinned, waving a hand over Zim's wig evilly.

"It-it just is, so don't!" Zim screeched loudly, scooting back.

Dib reached over, catching the other's cheek in his hand. So harmless, yet such a reaction. He studied this.

Zim, without even thinking, swiped a hand out, claws bared, meaning to take away skin or claw out eyes or ANYTHING to get that bad touch away.

Dib hissed, taking back his hand and examining the new cuts on his arm now, picking at the blood and loose flesh that came out with it. "SON OF A BITCH!" He hissed again, cradling his arm.

"N-no touch..." Was all Zim could say, trying to calm himself down though he KNEW he was in trouble.

"You KISSED me before!" Dib hissed, taking his arm to his mouth and sucking gingerly on his metallic-tasting blood, hitting some sweet taste buds every once in a while.

"That was an ok touch. Everywhere else is bad." Zim said, glaring at Dib with a 'that's your own fault' look."

Dib pulled his mouth up from his flesh wound, showing off a very bloody mouth, looking a bit bloodier than the vampire from last night's movie. "That's so backwards! Why?" 'Damn it, I'll need stitches…'

"'Cause they never touched my lips..."Zim said cryptically, crossing his arms as if that explained everything going on in his head.

"What are you TALKING about?" Dib asked, not being able to take the pain any longer, and running to the kitchen to poor water on his arm while penetively listening to Zim.

"Nuh-uh." Zim said, shaking his head. "That's all I'm saying."

Dib turned off the water and raise his arm in the air so he wouldn't bleed so badly. "So let me get this straight.. It's better that I put my lips on your lips than for me to put my fingers on your cheek?"

Zim nodded like that made perfect sense.

"That makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever!" Dib informed him, narrowing his honey-colored eyes.

"That's because you weren't there!" Zim yelled, clearly frustrated.

"FINE then, I don't CARE anymore." Dib hissed at the irken, folding his arms to pout when he suddenly remembered the jagging pain. "CRAP!" He held his arm out. "Damn it, Zim. Now I need to go fix this..."

"Then go!" Zim said, waving a hand about in some random direct in a shooing manner.

Dib glared and started walking back upstairs to go to his room, where he called for the computer to pull out the medical equipment, and he had to, very difficultly and one handedly, stitch himself up again.

"Geeze." Dib glared as he made another mistake on his arm, not even numbing it first.

Zim came up stairs and peered into Dib's room before walking completely in and saying, "Sorry... for scratching you. But I did tell you not to touch me."

"Yeah, yeah. It was my own fault. You gave me fair warning." Dib said before giving a great hiss as he stuck the needle through his skin and aiming it incorrectly to the other side.

Zim walked over and took the needle from Dib, saying, "I'll help, just hold still."

Dib looked at him with wide eyes and had half a mind to hop back, but he didn't. He was bleeding too much and needed to be stitched and his own one handed stitching job sucked.

Dib clenched his eyes shut, awaiting the appending needle.

Zim finished the job quickly, having lots of experience doing stuff like this to himself. The watery blood stung his hands a little but not as bad as water water.

Dib released his face from the cringing look it was in and opened his eyes to see his arm and then Zim. ".. Zim… .." He opened his mouth to say something very difficult to say. He closed it again, looked back at his bloodied arm and back up at Zim. "--Thank you..." That was maybe the nicest thing Zim had ever done.

"You're welcome..." Zim said simply. Whipping the blood off on Dib's sleeve.

Dib stood up and traced the wiry threads through his arm. "You… you actually did a really good job on this... Why'd you do it?" Dib asked, kind of afraid of the answer being rough and sarcastic.

"Because," Zim said as if the answer were obvious. "I- I felt bad for scratching you that bad. Even if it was your fault."

Dib stared at Zim for a while, feeling the ends of his lips tug upward against his will. "Uh, right. Yes." He looked around, trying to make Zim feel less embarrassed by not focusing too much on it. Then he remembered something. "Zim- what would you like to do today?"

"I don't know, right about now I'd be planning to take over the world but I can't really do that right now." Zim said with a shrug.

"No fun activity?" Dib asked with a sigh. He knew the moment he woke up that today would be boring. He rubbed his arm thinking about alternatives that would benefit their 'couple' look if Zim couldn't think of anything.

Zim rubbed his hands nervously before looking up at Dib and saying, "I- um, what do you usually do... when you're, you know, not hunting this or that?"

Dib looked at his desk passively. "I usually do work. You know. Paranormal or 'REAL SCIENCE'." He stressed the 'real science' to add dramatic effect. "I don't have much of a life outside of science and you and trying to find a girlfriend I can tolerate… But now that activity is kind of dead, and I'm kind of sick of real science, and I'm already the top of my game in Paranormal." He looked back at Zim, sighing. "I'm boring."

"Yeah you are." Zim teased. "Gir, somehow, get's lots of girls at dance clubs and raves. Have you ever tried looking for a girl friend there?"

A moment of silence as a rather disturbing memory came to Dib. "Once. Only once."

Zim sighed. "Are we... are we going to be stuck together forever?"

"Hell no!!" Dib replied quickly, not caring if he'd offend Zim or not. "I'll have a girlfriend I like in no time."

"You aren't doing much to go out and get one." Zim noted bitterly. "You might want to get a jump on that before your dad starts to like me too much or he bugs you enough for a child that you give in, just like with the marriage thing."

"Dad doesn't have THAT much control over me." Dib snorted to himself, looking back at the desk with the muddy puddle of blood on it.

"Got you to marry someone you don't even like just to make him happy." Zim pointed out, sitting down on Dib's bed.

Dib let his fingers dance in the blood, sighing and keeping his eyes on his reflection on the liquid. "Maybe… but having children is a lot more sacred to me... I'm sure I cant be manipulated into that."

"Let's hope not." Zim said, clearly unconvinced. He sighed sadly and looked down at the ground, wishing he could get into his pak, mostly just because he felt empty without constantly using it and it was taking all of his will power to just keep it in life support mode.

Dib whipped the blood on his shirt much like Zim did before. He strolled over, sitting near Zim, but not close enough to touch if he wanted to. "When should we hold 'the marriage'?"

"I don't care." Zim said automatically before he realized this question was probably actually important, making him sigh and say, "I don't know. When would be opportune? Who all would be coming and far would they need to travel?"

The human's eyes landed themselves on Zim a bit before answering. "It would be best if it was semi public. Inviting dad's coworkers, my sister, your 'family'." Dib thought a moment.

"Don't bring them." He coughed to himself. "But we could always make it as private as possible... Then it would only be us-two and whoever's binding our unholy matrimony. It wouldn't look good, but it's convenient."

"Which ever works best for you, but if it's public you're going to have to tell your father to keep the co-workers he brings to a minimum, scientists lately have been real scary." He paused for a moment and added semi-teasingly, "And you're going to have to stop touching me or there'll be nothing left of you but a shredded pile of Dib-mess for me to marry."

Dib mock glared at the alien teasingly. "Yeah, and I still cant believe you'd rather be kissed than touch. That just practically says 'no way in hell can we be a couple'." He rolled his eyes. "But I'll try to keep that in mind at least. If not for you, for my own good."

Zim gave a short laugh that must have been equivalent to how humans laugh through their noses when they're tired and don't have the energy for a full laugh.

The human smiled at this, a bit pleased with the reaction. "Oh… while we're still on talking bases... sorry for touching your leg in the restaurant…" Come to think about it, it was probably worse for Zim than he had thought, being that now he knows where Zim hurts himself.

"It is fine." Zim said, looking sideways at Dib. "As long as I cannot feel your skin I don't really care where you touch me."

"Sure..." Dib sighed, lying back on the bed to stare at the ceiling while letting his fingers feel every needle work in his arm.

"Did I do ok?" Zim asked after a short pause. "On your arm?"

Dib snapped out of his little day dream. "Oh- the arm? Uh, yeah, you did, actually." He held his arm up for himself to see. "I'm actually amazed at how well you did… and… for your enemy no less..."

"Been doing quick medical fixes since before you were born, Dib... thing." Zim said. "And like I told you, I felt bad."

"You never felt bad before when you had me restrained in your labs." Dib mumbled, setting his throbbing arm down.

"You never seemed to care before either." Zim pointed out. "And yet you fixed me up when you first brought me here."

Dib glanced over at Zim before back at the ceiling. His eyes were traced by guilt he couldn't seem to get a good grip on. "For the date, though..."

"You still didn't have to do it. I know you know I'm capable of taking care of myself. I did it every other time we've fought and the bandages were hardly necessary." Zim said, letting himself fall back so he was lying on the bed with his feet dangling off.

Dib sighed, pretending this wasn't all exactly happening. "So we're even I guess?"

"Something like that." Zim said with a shrug.

"So we can go back to being rough to one another?" Dib turned his head towards Zim looking almost hopeful like he enjoyed that part of their twisted relationship.

"I... I guess so." Zim said as if being asked an incredibly simple question like how much a doughnut would cost at a certain shop.

Dib turned to his side grinning at Zim almost viciously. "Good." Devious thoughts of how he could hurt Zim now that he couldn't really protect himself boiled up delightfully in his dark and twisted human savior mind.

Zim gave Dib a weary look. "Don't stare at me like that HUMAN." He said, sitting up on his elbows.

"Why not, IRKEN?" He smirked.

"Because HUMAN, I don't like that look. Pain is a much better expression for you." Zim said, poking Dib's new scratches.

"You know what, Zim? You're right. I like pain. More specifically, I like _your _pain." He grinned, slinking his arm away from Zim comfortably.

"Oh, now I see why you really chose me to marry." Zim said with a smirk, and then added. "I'd be careful if I were you, don't make me file a domestic violence report."

Dib frowned, quickly trying to find a flaw in that action Zim may choose to take. "Before you could I'd have your PAK fried. Besides," Dib pulled up closer, invading Zim's personal bubble. "I know you like it too much."

Zim looked into Dib's eyes, trying to think of a way to get Dib to back off and maybe even avoid him for a week or two. A smile made itself visible on his face as a thought came to him.

"You're right," He admitted. "I like it when you hurt me, I like the attention." He slowly wrapped an arm around the human's shoulders. He may not like the pain sexually, but if that's what the human took from this, and it made him stay away from him for even an HOUR it would be worth it. "Why do you think I have to hurt myself when you're gone? Every time you leave to hunt some stupid paranormal shit I lock myself in the bathroom with a special knife made of vortian steal and, oh you should see the scars."

Dib stared wide eyedly at the Irken below him. If the arm around him wasn't bad enough, what Zim said put the poor human in shock. "Zim. Don't even joke about that." The pit of his stomach knotting up. Dib liked seeing him in pain, right? Why was the thought of Zim hurting himself being his fault so mind-numbingly horrible? "Only I can hurt you, remember? Directly..."

"I'm not joking, want to see the scars?" Zim asked, removing his arm from around Dib to hook a thumb in his pants.

Dib looked pained at Zim and shook his head. "No. I don't... at all... You shouldn't even have those."

Zim narrowed one eye curiously as Dib and said in an annoyed tone, "Don't look at me like that. You're supposed to be flustered and embarrassed and run out of the room to leave me alone for a few hours."

Dib narrowed his eyes back at Zim, still pulled in close. "Believe it or not, Zim, but the fact you have those are more disturbing than the thought of you taking your pants off for me!"

It took a few seconds but, oh, it hit him. "AH! MENTAL IMAGE!!" He propped himself up on his knees holding his hands to his face to try to scorn out the image of Zim acting sexy under that skirt for him.

Zim groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'm not _that _bad looking under my pants." He said, sitting up now that he had the room. "You humans and your modesty. I picture you naked all the time."

Dib stopped squirming and immediately tensed up, face heating up like mad. He peaked through his fingers at Zim. "W-why?"

Zim shrugged, saying, "Makes me feel better about my own body."

Twitch. Twitch-twitch. Twitchily-twitch-twitch. Dib held back the roaring lion in his chest wanting to gnaw on Zim limb for limb for juggling Dib like that.

"Zim," he started firmly, grabbing hold of the gloved part of Zim's upper arm, his wounded arm obviously much weaker. "Go fuck yourself." He purposefully put his forehead to the other just to bug him with skin contact.

Zim's eyes widened at the contact and he was trying really hard not to take out one of Dib's eyes though he really really wanted to.

"Wh-why do you have to do that?" He asked in an incredibly quiet voice.

Dib frowned at him. "Tell me why you don't want me to do it."

"I don't like to talk about it." Zim said, looking away and blushing.

Dib's hold didn't loosen, and his eyes continued to lock into the alien's contacts. He pushed his face in closer to where his nose and part of his cheek was touching as well. "Then I wont let go."

Zim clenched his eyes shut, hoping to try and block Dib out but that just made it worse as his mind supplied the image of another person touching him, someone that was not as 'nice' as Dib was. So he quickly opened his eyes and said just as fast, "It's just something that happened in invader training, ok?"

Dib let his forehead off of Zim's to stare at him in blank confusion and curiosity. "Something that 'happened'? Can a reason just 'happen'?" Dib asked dumfounded at the startled Irken he was holding.

"Yes, something happened. Something that I don't like to talk about and has made me not like touch and it happened during invader training and I'd like to be left alone about it!" Zim was close to yelling, feeling something building inside of him, almost ready to burst.

Dib watched for a bit and came to a decision within himself. "I got it." He said calmly, hopping off of the bed and walking towards the door, feeling a weird and strange feeling gripping onto his throat.

"What?" Zim asked, sitting strait again. "What have you got? Zim has said nothing!"

The human stopped mid step and turned around slowly to look at Zim. "Don't worry, Zim. I've got nothing." He put his hands in his pockets. "You don't have to say."

"Go- good, because I wasn't going to." Zim said, standing up and brushing past Dib coldly.

Dib followed him just as coldly, his hands filling the fluff in his pockets. He made a mental agreement with himself that even the Irken didn't deserve him bringing it up again, so he wouldn't mind.

Zim went back down into the living room, catching a glimpse of himself in the full length mirror. He looked... pathetic. He sighed and sat down on the couch again, curling back up in his corner and watching the still on TV.

Dib followed and sat on the couch on the far side of Zim. He kicked his boots up on the table, leaning back.

"Why does your planet want my planet, anyway?"

Zim turned his attention back to Dib and blinked at him curiously for a moment before saying, "They don't want your planet specifically. In fact it wasn't even part of Impending Doom Two, too dangerous, they said. But they ran out of planets to give out and so they gave me this one. But really, the Tallest want all planets, universal conquest and all that."

Zim wasn't sure why he was telling Dib all of this, but, he figured, it's not like this knowledge is going to help Dib stop him, so why not?

"See? What did I tell you? Greedy." Dib smiled sarcastically, bringing his attention to the black and white channel. "What does your planet even look like?" He asked, his curiosity rising.

"It's beautiful." Zim said, his voice taking on a hint of sadness. "There are no plants or that disgusting… err, dirt. That atmosphere is kept clean through filters and there are no clouds ever so the skies are always clear. I miss it."

Something tugged Dib's mind. "Hold that thought!" He got up and quickly rushed down into the basement from the other room.

* * *

Zim: ME!

Dib: The Almighty Smallest!

OMG! I love you guys so much! Your reviews are so- ARGH! -dies of love- Keep up the LURV!


	8. Chapter 8

WOO! Chpter 8! Go us!

Not much to say here. Lots of warm and fluffy to go around.

Beta: Links Angels

* * *

Zim blinked confusedly in the direction in which Dib disappeared before shaking his head, rolling his eyes, and turning back to the TV.

Dib came back with a cardboard box in arms. "Continue talking about it. I'm going to search through these while you do." He sat on the couch and made some ruffling noises from the box.

"Well," Zim said, watching Dib with only a hint of interest. "Most of the buildings are made of metal, so if you aren't inside it get's kinda hot during the day because the sun is so close. That's why the skies are red during the day too." Zim leaned close to Dib, trying to get a good look inside the box. "What are you looking for?"

Dib smiled childishly as he set the box on the ground, retrieving what he had set after. He scooted closer to the green boy, holding several photos in hand.

"These," Dib pointed out, holding the pictures in between him and Zim so they can both see it together. "Are my favorite sky pictures! You see, I have an ongoing shutter-camera set up to view the skies incase more Irkens come or some other alien… And then I could show it as proof… you get it… But the more I did this, the more I grew fond of our Earth sky..."

Half of the photos, the half that was on top, were all cloudless like Zim had described, but blue. The bottom half all had beautiful clouds of all sorts whooshing like whip cream, or like some, foam on the ocean. "Just thought you'd might appreciate seeing these… to why I like 'clouds', and… maybe the cloudless ones you'll like."

Zim pointed to a picture of a sun set, saying, "That's the color of Irk's sky during the day. At night the sky is purple and the entire planet is lit up in different shades of pink. It's especially beautiful from space because it looks like the whole planet is glowing pink."

Dib smiled softly at the Irken. "Then… would you like to keep that picture?"

"Could I?" Zim asked, looking at Dib disbelievingly.

This made Dib's heart well up for some reason. "Y-yeah… you can." Dib grinned, and then shuffled through the photos till he came up with another photo. The sky was purple and there were puffy golden orange clouds high up above the sun. "This one is my favorite."

"What would you do?" Zim asked out of no where. He had been feeling himself breaking down all night and finally that feeling of helplessness in his chest just had to be let go. "If your people left you behind, what would you do?"

Dib stared, lowering the photo thoughtfully.

_If humans left me behind… abandoning me with an alien race... just leaving me... _"I'd feel like crap." He answered bluntly. "But… I suppose I'd try to find my people… and ask them why they left me… and try to adapt myself into their society the best I could once again... Which was never much till recently anyway." His answer came more thought out this time.

"I wanna go home." Zim said, close to sobbing, but keeping everything in, not wanting to completely break down in front of Dib. "I want to leave this stupid dirt clod behind and go back home."

Dib looked at him concernedly, attempting to put his hands on the other's bear shoulders but choosing against it due to earlier. "Then go home already, Zim." He answered softly, a big chunk of him kicking him in the balls for this. "If you want to go… then go... Earth likes being here… spinning normally…"

"I can't." Zim said, crossing his arms. "I'm an Invader! I can't just leave my planet, not to mention, where they are now, it would take me two years to get to them and my voot isn't capable of doing that."

Dib twitched. 'They really DID leave him here all alone...'

He had to go against instincts. "W-well in a way… I'm kind of relieved… at this… 'Opportunity'."

"What do you mean?" Zim asked, looking up at Dib with a poorly veiled 'lost puppy' look.

"It would be too boring not having a Zim to torture…" He grinned sweetly, but then reheard what he said playing in his head. He slapped his forehead. "Oi. That's not what I mean, though… I mean… You're fun… to have around… I guess..." He gave the same smile, but this time found his eyes tracking on the carpet.

Zim gave another tired nose laugh before saying, "Thanks... I guess. I must admit my invading Earth would not have been as fun if you weren't to always screw things up."

Dib giggled softly. "It's been real fun, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Zim agreed before adding, "Except for the bleeding, bleeding isn't very fun."

"Maybe not, but the rain was." He turned his head lopsidedly to face Zim with a smirk.

"You're cruel..." Zim said, pretending to pout.

"I learn from the best." Dib teased back.

"Naturally." Zim said vainly.

"Perhaps if I work on it hard enough, I'll get an ego as big as yours as well!" The human joked.

Zim pretended to pout once again and lightly punched Dib's arm.

Dib chuckled and grabbed the Irken's fist as it landed softly on his shoulder, and pulled Zim closer, softly elbowing Zim in his ribs, all in good pretending fun that is.

Zim smirked and grabbed Dib around the neck with his free hand and lightly pressed his knee into Dib's stomach being careful not to injure.

The hand around Dib's neck didn't last long. The boy started laughing menacingly (obviously a rehearsed laugh at that, just for playful moments like these) and pretended as if he was going to rack Zim, only coming inches from actually touching the other.

Zim held onto Dib tightly, tensing as the hands got near to his skin and he squirmed to try and get farther away from them.

Dib let go of Zim, his facial features dropping totally. "Z-Zim?"

"I-I'm fine." Zim said, still holding onto Dib though. "You- you didn't touch, so I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Dib said firmly like a parent scolding their child for doing something wrong, Zim's hand still around his throat. "If you need me to stop, just tell me."

"No, really, I'm fine... I-I was having fun..." Zim said, blushing a little.

"M-me too." Dib blushed. Why was this so hard to choke down? "Z-zim? It's your move…"

Zim nodded, and, taking a deep breath, lightly knocked his forehead into Dib's, their hair in the way of any touch, like he had head butted the human.

Dib smiled kindly at the motion, and flipped his arm up to lightly to softly shove the other down.

Zim landed back on the couch with an 'oof'! Trying to suppress a giggle.

Dib grinned, getting an idea from this. "Hey, Zim! Don't laugh!!" And quickly he began tickling the teen's sides being careful of his skin.

Zim began to giggle uncontrollably and tried to push Dib away but wasn't coordinated enough through his laughter.

Dib began to laugh himself at the hilarious response the alien presented him with.

This just inspired to tickle him even harder, bending over even closer to make sure he wouldn't get away.

Zim couldn't breathe he was laughing so much. Not that he needed to but his face and sides were starting to ache. "Sto-stop!" Zim managed to pant out.

Dib snickered. "Not until you say who you're marrying and that you LOOOOVE him!" He was going to take advantage of this.

"N-NEVER!" Zim yelled, trying to squirm away.

"Not until you say it!" Dib taunted, tickling more, and getting even closer.

"Al-ALRIGHT!" Zim yelled. "I-I marrying you Dib! And I love you THIS much!" With that he grabbed Dib's face and gave him a harsh kiss on the lips, using a little more force than he should have and cutting the inside of his lip on his teeth and probably doing the same to Dib.

Dib stopped all current movements, staring wide eyedly at the alien who held his lips below him. All time seemed to have stopped. He wasn't even expecting Zim to cave, nevertheless KISS him.

Zim pulled back and gave Dib a stern look, saying, "Don't do that."

Dib continued to just stare. "D-do what?" He asked stupefied, trying to think whether Zim meant 'don't tickle', 'don't just stare at me like that', or 'don't not react.'

Zim gave him a confused look, saying, "I don't know." His face went stern again and he said, "But something you're doing is annoying me, so stop doing whatever it is."

Dib blushed and pulled himself up, obediently to Zim. "R-right. Wont happen again!" What was he saying? He didn't even know what he did.

"O-ok..." Zim said, sitting up as well. "That was a cheap shot you know?"

"M-Me? _You _kissed _me_. I think that's cheaper." Dib continued his blush not even trying to hide it.

"Well you wouldn't stop." Zim defended, blushing as well as if just realizing he kissed Dib.

"What you were saying though… I was just going to let you go with that… you know…" He mumbled, now looking away and feeling a little fidgety. "T-that was practice." His mind wondered.

"Y-yeah, ok... but, heh, the look on your face was worth it." Zim said, snickering a little.

"Look? What look? I don't remember giving a look!" Dib pouted, crossing his arms.

"Oh, but you did." Zim said, poking Dib's nose with a gloved finger.

Dib swatted the hand away gently. "I think I would have remembered if I did." He half-glared.

"Shock seems to make us forget, Dib-stink." Zim said, smirking.

The human rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He grumbled, trying to bring his attention back to the black and white comedy.

Zim could only snicker and curl up again, his antennae twitching under the wig with amusement.

Although he tried to focus on the TV screen, Dib couldn't help but glance over at Zim every two to three seconds. "What? What's so funny?"

"You." Zim said simply, with a shrug.

"You're a jerk." Dib replied bluntly, his eyes firmly back on the TV.

"And you're a broken record." Zim said, relaxing back.

"At least I'm not emo." He retorted, now with bitterness.

"Shut up, at least I'm not so desperate to be married that I have to kidnap an alien and threaten his life." Zim said, crossing his arms.

"Oh yeah? Well at least I wouldn't ..." When Dib couldn't think of anything, he sighed, letting go of his anger.

"Whatever. I don't wanna talk anymore."

Zim snorted with the effort of holding back his laughter.

Dib grumbled something under his breath about 'stupid alien' and 'stupid alien sky' and 'stupid alien kiss' and 'stupid alien play fight'.

"You know you enjoyed it." Zim said, not being clear on what Dib knew he enjoyed be it the kiss or the play fight.

"Whatever. I'm not talking to you, remember?" He grumbled and thought of something which made him have to look over at the lounging Zim. "And what about you? Did you enjoy it?"

Zim shrugged, saying, "You need work on it a little..."

"W-work on what?"

"You're kissing, duh. No wonder you never got a girlfriend, you're terrible." Zim said,pointing accusingly at Dib.

Dib's face light up brightly. "I never kissed you- that's why!!" He paused for a moment. "Except for yesterday… but it's hard to purposefully kiss you."

"I say you're just a bad kisser." Zim said with his arms crossed.

"I'm not a bad kisser!" Dib argued. "I can kiss just fine! And for your information- that's NOT why I can't find a wife. I dump THEM, not the other way around!" He growled.

"My experience with your lips says other wise. In fact I'm rather disappointed with your kisses." Zim said with a sigh.

Dib glared harder. "What can you expect when I'm kissing YOU?"

"Oooh, that hurts." Zim said with a teary voice, pouting at Dib cutely.

Dib's glare immediately softened two folds. "W-well… I mean… It's… It's YOU... It's… weird…"

"Then stop thinking of me as Zim, start thinking of me as... Zimma." Zim suggested, giving Dib a smirk.

Dib stared at 'Zimma', debating something within himself. "Okay… if… that's what you'd like, I could try... but it would still be weird…'Zimma'."

"I just think it would be easier." Zim said with a shrug. "After all you seem to like teasing me about it."

"It's easier to tease you than make out with you." Dib sharply turned his gaze to the other side of the room. "Or even to hug you."

"Well," Zim said. "Teasing can be seen as affectionate to outsiders."

Dib's face reddened once more, taking in what Zim said. He looked back at Zim. "We should tease more when we're in public, then… But it won't matter at home. We know that we don't like one another and that our teasing is just to tease. We'll know this outside of this house too, so it won't be that hard..."

"Right and I've decided that kissing you is fun so THAT won't be too big of a problem." Zim said, relaxing back.

The human's face twisted up in almost horror and confusion. "How- why would you? I can't be fun to kiss. You even said so yourself; I suck at it." He suddenly tried to keep kissing in the clear, figuring that it was less important out in public than around his dad.

"Because, it gets the BEST reactions out of you. The BEST, better than any reaction I've ever gotten from you EVER." Zim exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air to show just HOW good those reactions were.

Dib snatched one of Zim's wrists, yanking it down to show how LITTLE he reacted, which in turn just showed his big reaction. "If you do that, I'll be sure to touch your bare skin in public." He narrowed his eye, then caught onto what he was saying. He let go of Zim's wrist. "No, forget it, I wont." Zim now had the advantage over him, and he knew it. He couldn't touch Zim's skin- he looked so scared and it was obvious something bad happened in his past that made him that way. That would be too mean, even for Dib to do. Torture suited the Irken much better.

Zim just rubbed his wrist and pouted at Dib for ruining his fun.

Dib sighed, picking up the box of photos and looking through them aimlessly. He was a little scared of Zim now that he had one up on him, but he wasn't going to willingly let the other know.

"So when are you going to hire that planner?" Zim asked, looking once more at the picture Dib gave him.

"Now, if you'd like..." Dib mumbled, looking through some more sky pictures.

"I would," Zim answered.

Dib searched his pocket for his cell, pulling it out and pressing a few numbers. "Uh, hello? Yeah, could you please connect me to a wedding planner? Yes, I'll hold, thank you." After maybe five minutes, somebody came on. "Yeah. Yeah, could you? Yes, tomorrow will fine. Twelve? Okay. Zimma. Dib. Membrane. You'd have to speak to her about that. Yes, yes. Alright. Thank you, bye." He hung up. sticking it back in his pocket.

"Tomorrow at twelve?" Zim asked, making sure he was totally ready.

"Yeah. I'll stick by you during all of the questions, but she'll mainly talk to you about it. Just a fair warning." He said, giving the box a lazy look.

"Ok," Zim said, turning his attention back to the TV. His thoughts wandered though, playing back certain events that occurred in the past few days. He noticed himself laughing, truly laughing, not cackling but really laughing because he had really had fun. And not all of it at the human's expense, like just a few minutes ago they were having fun TOGETHER.

"I hate you." He said, more for his own benefit than the others.

"I know," Dib replied calmly, setting the box down. "I hate you too."

"And I'm hungry." Zim added, not taking his eyes off the TV.

"I could try to cook if you want." He said dully.

"I don't care." Zim sighed, feeling a little depressed at how quickly the mood changed.

Dib gave the Irken an odd look. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't... I don't like this." Zim said. "It's only been three days since you FORCED this on me and everything's already become so complicated."

"What's complicated?" He asked lazily.

"I just told you, everything is." Zim 'duh'ed. "I've suddenly had to act more human than I'd ever had to act before, I also have to act female which I've NEVER done before, and then there's you going back and forth between wanting to touch me and not, then there are these instances when we don't seem mind each other's company and- just- like I said, EVERYTHING."

Dib stared, feeling the least he could do was to understand and accept where Zim was coming from on this.

"I don't want to touch you because you don't want me to. I'm trying to be respectful towards that on you. You should think acting more human than before is a good thing while in disguise on Earth anyway, and as for the whole 'female' thing, I think it really suits your demeanor." Dib paused.

It was almost as if there was something stuck in Dib's throat because of the way he dragged on a noise as though debating if he wanted to speak or not. "And.. we're.. trying to like each other it seems... to make this easier for the both of us.. it's just hard, and we're use to hating one another."

Zim sighed again, saying, 'That doesn't make it any less complicated."

"Would you rather us go back to us trying to kill one another?" Dib asked, feeling his own wave of depression fling over him.

"Was it not easier?" Zim asked. "I would try to take over the world and you would try to stop me which would make me want to stop you. Kind of like tag. Back and forth, back and forth, always a constant thing I could count on, until you went to college that is."

"I... don't know. Love's complicated. Maybe we can figure out a nice.. routine thing for this whole 'fake love' thing.." Dib mumbled, setting his box down once more to pay better attention to Zim.

"I hate love." Zim said, eyes narrowing at the wall. "It's such a stupid, painful; emotion. Completely worthless in the grand scheme of things. The only thing most races need to survive is a male, a female, and a sex drive. But no, they have to get all picky with this 'love' thing."

Dib watched him. "I don't know. I've never been in love but... I'm lead to believe that it's the most powerful feeling there is, that even loathing cannot compare." He shrugged. "It's not the important, I suppose, for the evolution of humans but.. I think it's important psychologically."

"Bah, you're all just a bunch of apes with stress, just get rid of the need to use your brains for work and love will not matter." Zim said as if the very subject disgusted him.

Dib frowned. "But that would be boring. I'd like to feel love once, at least."

Zim just gave a disapproving grunt before turning to look at Dib expectantly.

"What?" Dib asked, a little offended by that reaction.

"You were going to make something to eat?" Zim asked, crossing his arms.

"Right... though.. I suddenly don't feel like making anything. You want Bloaties or to go somewhere?" Dib asked, not in the mood to do anything now.

"Neither." Zim said, leaning back again. "I think I'll just go back to sleep."

Dib sighed. "Fine, fine. Have a good night's sleep." He mumbled, pulling out his cell to call pizza for one.

Zim wanted to argue that it was morning but didn't, instead just going back up to his bed to lay down, falling onto it face first.

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib: The Almighty Smallest!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 here! Wow, we've really come a long way.

I was... a little dissapointed that we didn't get any reviews last time. Not a one. If you guys don't like this fic anymore let us know and we won't post it here. At least we're getting comments at deviantART. Seriously, if we aren't going to get feed back why bother?

Beta: Links Angel

* * *

Zim woke up hours later, not even having realized he'd fallen asleep. He looked around groggily for a moment before shaking his head and climbing off the bed to go downstairs, wanting to know what Dib was up to.

Dib lied motionless on the couch, comfortably on his belly, holding a beeping mechanical device in his hands. "Fuhhing fahhentine fay…" He mumbled weakly.

Zim cocked his head to the side and walked over to Dib, poking him slightly and asking, "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm stuff wiff an ayien and fis fuhhing fing woh fuhhing worh." He mumbled, his forehead nuzzling into the couch's arm.

"Uh, what?" Zim asked, only getting about half of what ever it was that Dib was saying.

Dib nuzzled the couch's arm harder till he just rested his cheek on it, his eyes plastered shut. "No, I wohn go geh hilhren... sex is oferraheh…"

Zim's left eye twitched in annoyance. Dib's attention was obviously not on him and that ticked him off. 'Well, I'll just have to MAKE him pay attention to me then, huh?' He thought before raising his hand up and brining it down with a loud cracking sound onto the human's face.

Dib's eyes snapped open, dropping the beeping thing on the floor. "ZIM!!" He popped up. "What the HELL was THAT for?!" He asked, hand to his cheek.

"You were mumbling and I couldn't understand you. Math. Quite easy." Zim said, remembering the day he was so rudely awakened by a newly sobered Dib. "Now what the HELL were you babbling about? And what is that thing?" Zim asked, pointing to the beeping thing.

Dib stared, rubbing his cheek. "I… wasn't babbling. I was asleep." He said, fairly convinced he didn't say anything. "And what thing? - THE THING!" He dove over the couch arm, grabbing the fallen machine. "Crap! I hope nothing broke!" He pulled it up, and turned it over to examine the back before popping it open.

"Yeah, what is it?" Zim asked, mumbling under his breath that Dib was INDEED babbling.

Dib looked at the gadget in his hand. "It's stupid. Don't worry about it." He picked out a chip from the inside and blowing on it. "It's something I've been trying to invent."

Zim rolled his eyes and asked, "Are you going to tell me what it does or do I have to guess?"

"I'll give you a clue. The beeping means it doesn't work." Dib grumbled, but when he looked over and noted Zim's unamused reaction, he sighed. "I'm trying to make something that can take sound waves and convert the decimals to match that of the appropriate brainwaves, noting the user's sanity level, stability level, and the general idea of what the person is thinking about." Dib answered.

Zim rolled his eyes, deciding that he wasn't going to ask why Dib was inventing something like that. "So what were you mumbling about in your sleep? I know there was something about me and not having children and sex involved."

"I- I really talk in my sleep?" Dib wondered out loud. "Oh, um, I don't know what I was saying… but I do recall in my dream I was smashing Dad's head open with an iron mallet…"

"That sounds like fun." Zim said, looking back at the device in Dib's hand, trying very hard not to voice his question.

"Not really. Was a nightmare anyway." Dib mumbled, studying the chip for any flaws before setting it on the coffee table and taking out another chip.

Zim looked from Dib to the chip then back to Dib before snatching the chip of the table, unable to help him self as he started looking over it.

Dib distracted himself from the chip he was looking at, over to Zim. "What are you doing?"

"Just looking over it." Zim said innocently. And he was.

"Alright… that's fine… just doing… break anything, please…" He mumbled, studying his own chip for flaws.

When Zim was satisfied with his inspection he looked back at the device holding his hand out and asking, "Can I take a look at it?"

Dib stared and lightly placed the broken machine in his hand, placing the chip on top of it. "Good luck." He said as if there was very little chance anything -right- would happen.

Zim lost himself in fiddling with the little machine, taking it apart and putting it back together than repeating the process five more times.

Watching carefully, Dib slowly crawled closer to Zim and the device to get a better look at what he was doing. DID he really know what he was doing? His brows lowered in thought and anticipation.

"Here." Zim said after playing and tinkering with it for a little bit.

Dib blinked blankly, taking the machine from Zim. He stared at it for a while before flipping it up normally.

It wasn't beeping.

He held his breath and pressed the button under the small green screen. "Is this… working?" He asked to the machine.

It made some processing noises before showing on the screen "Mood: Nervous - Brain: Wondering - Stress: Medium"

"It… It worked! You did it!" Dib looked up, smiling at Zim before quickly going over and hugging him tightly and spontaneously.

Zim tensed for a moment before relaxing, feeling no skin contact.

"Of course I did it. I am ZIM. This is mere child's play compared to the work I use to do." He said as if getting tired of the sound of his own voice.

Dib let go of the Irken, focusing harder on his little machine. "That's great... I've been working on this since…" He knotted his brows in thought. "..Since I was twelve. How'd you know what to do?"

"I didn't." Zim said simply. "S'why I took it apart so many times. It helped me get an idea of how the things SUPPOSED to work so that I could properly figure out what to do with it."

"I… I see." Dib noted, looking down at his little project he's been working on for almost half his life. "Well… well then, thank you." He stood, smiling softly as he wobbled onward towards his room with it.

_'That's it?_' Zim thought, standing there, watching Dib go. _'Thank you? That's all I get?' _

Zim sighed, it's not like he was expecting too much any way, he just liked working on things. He supposed that would be enough for him but he felt somehow disappointed. So he plopped himself on the couch and put his feet up on the table, close the pouting.

Dib put the gadget away in his room and returned back to Zim, smiling yet feeling slightly disappointed himself. He sighed, serenity taking hold of him before he sat next to Zim, so close their hips were touching.

"That was fun." Zim noted out of no where, looking up at Dib, expecting a comment.

"Like a moose." Dib answered on reflex. "What was fun?"

"Fixing your doo-hickey." Zim replied. "I don't get to tinker much anymore."

Dib 'heh'd, and reclined further in the couch. "Would you like to invent things? With me... that would be fun, right? And we can work on them together… have something to do, you know?"

"That might be fun." Zim said, blinking curiously at Dib.

Dib smiled. "You know… that machine I made… or rather… I began and you finished… When I started that, I was actually aiming for a project that would help me read minds… but… I thought I'd start small and work with the basic stuff… it was the best I had at the time... And… well… That is SUCH a pointless machine… but I wanted to understand it first… before I went to mind-reading..." Dib smiled to himself, remembering when he started it, he was going to use it to predict what Zim was going to do. "Have you ever wondered about that? What others are thinking?"

"All the time." Zim replied, giving Dib a pointed stare.

Dib turned to show his calmed smile to Zim now as well. "What are you thinking right now?"

Zim smirked and leaned in close, asking in a quiet voice, "Wouldn't you like to know."

Quickly being taken from his happy place, Dib pushed himself back to give himself more space from the Irken. "Y-yeah, I would, actually…"

Zim quickly backed off, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away, saying, "Well you are not allowed to know, Zim's thoughts belong to ZIM."

"You know… That strangely makes me want to know all the more." Dib commented, rubbing his nose.

"Yes, yes, yes, I know I'm fascinating, but I simply cannot share with you my amazing mind as your puny _human_ one could not comprehend it anyway." Zim said with a wave of a gloved hand.

Dib scowled. "And maybe that's why nobody's wanted to marry YOU before." He crossed his arms, a bit insulted.

"And how would YOU know if someone's ever wanted to marry me before HU-man?" Zim asked, once more offended that Dib seemed to think him so unattractive.

Dib paused for a moment. "Somebody has? I don't know, I just kind of thought not. You've never mentioned it before."

"Of course not." Zim said as if the thought were silly. "Why would I want to mention something that happened so LONG ago?"

_'Or so terribly heart-breaking?' _He thought to himself.

"So it has happened?" Dib went wide eyed, his turn to pull in closer to the Irken. "And you said no?"

"No," Zim said, shifting uncomfortably. "I said yes."

Dib deadpanned, schock running across his face. "You- what happened? Did you go through with it? Did something happen? Are… Am I marrying a married Irken?" Dib pulled even closer in shock.

"Yes I went through with it, yes something happened, and no, no I am not married." Zim said, leaning slightly away from Dib.

"Oh," Dib sadly pulled away. "What happened..?"

"She... died..." Zim said, looking sternly at the ground as if it were the carpet's fault.

"I- I didn't know... I'm sorry..." Dib quietly muttered, letting silence take over the air after that. He slowly pulled his hand over and set it on the Irken's claws, stroking them slowly. This felt weird to him, but by instincts he felt he needed to calm the other down.

Zim was about to tell the human off for being 'sorry' but stopped when he felt the other's hand on his. He looked at it, shocked for a moment before letting his entire body just relax, including his face. He kept quiet for a moment before saying as a sort-of 'thank you', "It's not... that big of a deal..."

Dib looked down and nodded. "Yeah, okay..." He kept his hand on the other's, no longer stroking it, but just laying it there. "I'm still kind of sorry, though… it's good to know that it's not that big of a deal..."

"It WAS a big deal then... but I'm over it. Besides, that was over a hundred years ago." Zim said with a shrug.

"Okay then..." Dib took his hand off of the other's, placing it in his lap.

Zim sighed sadly before looking back up at Dib and asking, "Can I just go make myself something to eat?"

"Yeah, sure. Make whatever you'd like." Dib commented as if the previous conversation never happened.

Zim nodded and went into the kitchen, looking through cabinets and the fridge, finally deciding just to make some toast, which he did and sat in a stool to eat, thinking about what he'd just told Dib and why the hell he told it.

Dib let out a lazy sigh. "Hey, Zim… If I'm a jackass for no reason... I give you full permission to punch me, okay?" Dib grumbled out lightly.

"Like I need your permission." Zim joked, taking a bite of his toast.

Dib smirked. "Well of course, DEAR…"

"Can I kick you too, HONEY?" Zim asked, smirking as well.

"Why YES, Poooky!" Dib snickered.

"Thank you, DARling!" Zim said, putting on an incredibly girly voice, even around the toast in his mouth.

"You're welcomed, Zimmy-pooh." Dib grinned, waiting while staring at Zim before just breaking out fits of laughter.

Zim giggled back. He couldn't help it, the laughter was infectious.

In still little bits of laughter, Dib smiled enjoyably at Zim. "Hey… heheh… do you think this is all through and over with… we'd actually be closer and call one another these things just for kicks?" He chuckled some more, lighter though.

"I don't know." Zim said, still chuckling a little, taking a deep breath to calm down. "It... would be nice… but..."

"Yeah... I know…" Dib finished off, looking down on the carpet, a smile still on his face.

Zim sighed once more, still smiling but feeling a little depressed again.

"Hey… You know… maybe we can pretend for a while as if… none of that had ever happened… or that we have no responsibilities towards the future after this... You know, just for a little while at least. I mean, I'm willing to forget those things… if you are, that is..." Dib ran his hand through his hair, playing with an ungroomed lock on the top of his head. This was a risky move, and he knew it too. It was like playing chess; although he was making himself vulnerable for Zim if Zim would lower his borders and be vulnerable, too, Zim might take him up on his offer and only pretend to forget and strike him when his own borders are down. Perhaps Zim would think the same of him? That Dib was only doing this to get in Zim's borders? Either way, this was risky.

"How do you mean?" Zim asked, putting his now empty plate on the counter, he'd wash it later.

"A… pretend truce of sorts... Just… letting our responsibilities roll off and out of mind until… until it counts, but we just won't think of that... 'until it counts'. It will be nonexistent for us while we're in this together..." Dib explained quietly.

"Like, nothing's going on; we're just 'hanging out'?" Zim asked, moving to sit next to Dib.

"Yeah… Like… it won't be Irk verses Earth... just the comfortable space in between with no fighting." He looked over at Zim with the same passive, yet interested eyes as before.

"I guess we could do that." Zim said, shrugging.

"Alright… Then it's a truce… Kind of." Dib stuck his hand out for Zim to shake.

Zim hesitated before giving Dib his hand, nodding and saying, "Truce."

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib: The Smallest Invader


	10. Chapter 10

Ok, ok, ok, I lied. I will under NO circumstances stop posting this. Just, show some loooooove, it makes going through the head ache of cleaning this up so much more worth it and makes me feel less guilty for making our beta fix up our mistakes.

Beta: LinksAngel

LOVE US!

* * *

Dib smiled. "Great then!" He pulled his arms around Zim, giving him a relaxed hug before pulling away. That felt great! To be able to hug a friend, not an enemy.

Zim blinked before smirking and saying, "That was a much better hug, Dib-beast."

"Eh? Oh, right." Dib chuckled some, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

Zim snickered at how Dib reacted and handed the human the remote.

"You make it so easy to tease you Dib." He noted.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Dib asked, turning towards the TV now, sitting criss cross.

"You just kind of walk into things. No work needed on my part." Zim said with the wave of a hand.

Dib seethed. "Yeah, I suppose... I guess that's my pride getting in the way of things." Dib rested his head on his hands.

"Aw, don't take it so personally, Dib-stink, just be glad I only like to tease you and have few thoughts of becoming friends with you." Zim said, leaning back with his arms over the couch.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm glad. Geesh." He frowned, obviously letting Zim win purposefully. He then smiled. "If you're not careful though, all of this teasing and friendship will make me TOUCH you." He threatened lightheartedly.

"You lie." Zim declared, giving Dib a 'don't you DARE' look.

"Or am I?" Dib smirked. "You can be easy to tease too, you know."

"Nuh-uh." Zim whined, pouting like a child.

Dib pointed a finger and laughed. "Yuh-huh! See?"

"NUH-UH!" Zim almost yelled, pouting harder.

"Yuh-huh!!!" Dib chuckled, holding his finger out inches away from the other's face.

Zim growled and swatted at the finger.

"How'd your arm get hurt Dib?" He asked innocently, pointing to the stitch job he did.

"I figured you'd be more conscious about it this time… and I think I was right." He looked down at his swatted finger with just small scratches. He smiled, pulling back. "But you can get teased easily too."

"If you say so, Dib-stink." Zim said, clearly unconvinced. He shifted around on the couch until he was sitting on it upside down with his legs propped up on the top and his head hanging off the seat.

Dib would watch the TV, then watch the upside down Zim, back and forth. Without asking why he was like that, he decided to copy the move Zim had done, and also prop himself upside down, if for nothing else, to mock Zim.

Zim blinked curiously at Dib before smirking, wondering how long the human could let the blood collect in his brain like that before he got dizzy and had to sit up. Turning his head back to the TV caused his wig to fall off, which he whined about, his head suddenly cold.

Dib stayed like that for a while, TV becoming much more entertaining upside down.

The boy's head started to throb unfortunately, hurting a bit. But-- Zim was still in this position, so he didn't want to stop or he'd lose this mini battle.

Zim looked over at Dib, snickering and saying, 'Your face is getting red, human."

It hurt, but he wasn't going to let Zim know that. "I'm thinking of something naughty!"

"Oh? What kind of naughty?" Zim asked, smirking wider but showing actual interest.

Dib made up something off of the top of his head. "You in a thong."

Zim deadpanned. "Meh-me in a... ...thong?"

Dib took this embarrassed moment as his opportunity to go right side up without losing due to Zim's distraction. "Why, yes. Yes indeed. A sparkly thong.. with laces and tassels."

Zim also sat up, still staring in that 'my brain's bleeding' kinda way, a small blush forming on his cheeks. "Why-why would you be picturing that?"

Dib stared, smirking at Zim until his smirks turned into snickers, which eventually led to a light laugh. "I'm joking, Zim. I wasn't imagining you in a thong, don't worry." However, just yesterday or the day before he had imagined him in lingerie, the alien didn't need to know that.

Zim sighed in relief, his antennae relaxing back into their normal position.

"It's funny, if I didn't know any better, I'd think your reaction was… almost human." Dib giggled.

Zim crossed his arms and turned his head to the side, saying, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dib grinned. "You were blushing!"

"N-nuh-uh." Zim said, looking at Dib in disbelief.

"You still are." He snickered, obviously winning this one.

"Am not!" Zim argued, though the hot feeling in his face contradicting him.

Dib pulled his face down closer to the upside-down green one. "You are." He grinned wickedly to those disguised eyes.

Zim opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. Finally had growled, and pouted for lack of anything better to do.

Dib just smirked and turned his attention back onto the black and white channel on TV. Hours slowly crawled by until hunger slowly stripped Dib of his comfort, causing a distressful groan.

"You know, for a famous paranormal investigator you house looks very... normal." Zim noted, turning his attention back to Dib.

"What, were you expecting me to just have all of my rare findings just hanging around on the walls or something? No, no, I keep all of those in a separate room… My own, _small _personal collection." Dib explained, standing up and going towards the kitchen.

Zim sat up, his antennae perking up curiously, his wig left forgotten on the ground. Zim then followed Dib into the kitchen, asking, "What are you making?"

"I'm making soup. Wants some?" He mumbled nonchalantly, looking in the cabinets.

"Sure," Zim said, following Dib around the kitchen to watch what he did.

Dib took two cans of tomato soup, and took it to the wall can opener. "Later tonight, I might make a margarita. Want to try one of those as well?" He asked as the metal chewing device grinded away the lid of the can.

"Sure." Zim said, antennae twitching at the annoying sound the can opener made.

Dib plopped the liquidy tomato into bowls before putting one in the microwave, turning it on. "Alright. Just don't get drunk off of it. I may know how humans react but, I'm a little worried about you."

"Zim will be fine." Zim said, waving a hand nonchalantly.

_'It's not you I'm worried about.' _Dib ran a hand through his hair until the 'ding' went off on the microwave. He pulled the hot soup out and set it on the counter, sliding it gently over to Zim and fetching him a spoon.

"There. You shouldn't have any reactions to this." He then put his own cold bowl in the microwave.

"Ok," Zim said, sitting down on one of the kitchen stools and poking at his soup before taking a spoon full.

Dib turned and watched Zim's reaction to the soup carefully, awaiting feedback.

Zim looked confused for a moment, not entirely sure what to think.

"I like it." He said after a while.

The microwave dinged. "Good." He said, making it unclear on what he was 'gooding' about purposefully as he pulled his own bowl out and sat it across from Zim with a spoon.

Zim ignored this and took another spoonful, swishing the soup around in his mouth before swallowing it.

Dib calmly blew on his own soup before putting some in his mouth. With every sip the silence did creep over him, making a little uncomfortable, though he wouldn't show it.

"Zim, after the planner comes here tomorrow, would you like to go shopping with me- so you can pick out things that you can eat?"

"Ok," Zim said, nodding a little.

"Okay." The air seemed to grow staler and staler to Dib as he sipped on his soup. The bowl emptied on the table, Dib let out a hearty sigh.

"Something wrong?" Zim asked, pushing away his own empty bowl, his antennae perking up curiously.

Dib stood up, picking up their plates and taking them to the sink. "No, not really. It just seems as though we've got nothing to say. It's kind of lonesome." He answered, pouring water in the bowls before walking out of the kitchen.

"I... don't know what to say. I'm not very good with relating to other people if you haven't noticed." Zim said, following Dib.

"Really? They seem to relate with you, better than me." Dib replied, starting up the stairs and checking back to see if Zim would follow.

Zim did follow, oddly enough just wanting to stick to Dib at the moment. "Then maybe you should tell me more about yourself, give me something TO relate to instead of the annoying whiney kid who used to chase me around with alien sleep cuffs."

Dib coughed nervously into his hand, pulling over to his room. "That was one time, Zim. One time! But... what would you like to know? I'm… pretty boring." Dib looked tiresome at the med table he forgot to retract after Zim stitched up his arm.

"I know you are." Zim said, walking over to the table to examine a few things. "Just, tell me about what your life was like before the mighty Zim came, what did you do, why do you have an interest in hunting aliens? Things like that."

"Let's see…" Dib flopped back in a laying position on his bed. "I was one of those nerds who were always in their studies… and... I would read up the best I could on aliens and big feet and nessie, and... well, I guess you could say I over obsessed, much like I do today... But, I guess after Mom died, that's when I came mainly obsessed with the paranormal." He let out a drawn out sigh escape his lips. "Dad spread a rumor after Mom died that I was insane, and eventually it hit the ears of normal adults, and those adults told their kids, and 'Hey! Guess what! I got stuck in the class with the insane boy! Man his head is huge.'" He rolled his eyes.

Zim picked up a small surgical knife to examine, looking at Dib to see if he could possibly sneak it out of the room and hide it in the bathroom, just in case. "So, you were, like, never happy? Huh?"

Dib's eyes stayed glued to the ceiling. "I'm always happy, what are you talking about? I love what I do. It wasn't you who changed my mood towards anything; if anything, really, I think you made me happier cause it gave me more motivation to do what I love."

Zim slipped the knife quickly into his glove and said, "Thanks... I guess."

Dib shrugged. "My motivation on chasing aliens is simply that I cant let Earth go to the dogs, so to speak."

"Despite how badly everyone treats you?" Zim a said, glaring at Dib.

"Yeah, actually." Dib answered, a bit begrudgingly against Zim for hitting the topic.

"Why?" Zim asked, leaning down and putting his hands on either side of Dib's head as if to prevent him from escaping. "I could offer you so MUCH MORE than these pathetic humans could. You're wasting your talents on this FILTH."

"Why would _you _waste your talents on _me_?" Dib asked, trying to avert the question, feeling heat climb onto his face, and his heart feeling an uneven stutter.

"Because you are not like the other humans. You are intelligent. And not just the knowledgeable kind either. You actually have some SENSE." Zim said eyes wide. "You and me, we could rule the world. All you have to do is turn you back on the planet that turned its back on you."

"Earth didn't turn its back on me... They thought their treatment towards me were necessary due to the rumor I was insane. It's acceptable, and I don't care about all that..." Dib whispered. "And… anyway, I thought we weren't going to talk of our responsibilities..." The human tried to swallow down his blush, failing miserably at the Irken's strong words of encouragement.

"I can't help it. I'm programmed for loyalty, I have to think of my empire first and having you on my side would be VERY beneficial." Zim said, sighing and slumping down on the floor.

Dib pulled himself up, and looked down below on the ground. He sadly looked over to his stitches, the thick plastic wire adding up with what Zim said. "So… when you helped me last night... it was part of you're plan? You have a plan?"

"I already told you why I helped you last night. I felt bad for scratching you. And no there is no plan. This... marriage is all I've been able to think about." Zim said, picking at the seam on his pants.

"And what do you think of it?" Dib asked nonchalantly, trying his best not to perk his voice in interest.

"I think it's stupid, and I hate being used like this." Zim said, almost sadly.

"Yeah. I guess I sort of get that." Dib pulled back on the bed once more, out stretching his arms, and leaving a sigh.

"Of COURSE you do." Zim said, crossing his arms.

Dib nodded. "My dad wants to use me, so I used you. I'm sorry. That's the way it works."

"If you say so." Zim said, not in the mood to fight.

Dib rolled onto his stomach, resting his head on arms. "Why are you so emo? I'm back you know, so you don't have to be…"

Zim shrugged, saying, 'It's just become a habit I guess. Since I got taller my minds become clearer and, I don't know, I guess I just realized I should be miserable, so I am."

"Wrong… If you're miserable then you're miserable. You don't have to make yourself even more miserable! Just make yourself happy like I am. Find a hobby you enjoy or something."

"But there's nothing on Earth that I enjoy doing other that trying to conquer it."

"You said you liked tinkering…" Dib retorted softly.

"Yes but your human technology is so far behind its only fun for a little bit before I start getting frustrated." Zim said, laying his head on the bed behind him.

"Then make something knew." Now Zim was making DIB frustrated.

"Maybe," Zim said, tilting his head a little to look at Dib.

"You sit on that for a while. I'm going to go to bed." Dib said, crawling up to his pillow, comfortable with sleeping in his clothes today. He took off his glasses, giving him a blurry vision of the alien. "Tomorrow we have that wedding planner thing so…" he shrugged. "Brace yourself."

Zim stood up and brushed himself off, saying, "I'll head to bed too then."

Dib yawned, sinking into his bed. "Good… night then…" He turned over the blanket on his shoulder, already closing his eyes and letting his guard down.

Zim just stared at Dib for a moment, about to consider it but instead shook his head, muttering a, "'night." Before walking out into a hall. He quickly went into the bathroom and opened up the cabinets under the sink, sticking the knife he stole from Dib there before going back out and into his own room, sighing as he shut the door behind him.

Dib tossed and turned in his sleep. A nightmare lurked in his dark world of dreams, hissing and churning his mind, licking him with a deep poison causing Dib to break out in a sweat as he tossed and turned till morning.

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib: The Almighty Smallest!


	11. Chapter 11

Hey there loyal fans! Chapter 11 UP! This is the one everyone seemed to be waiting for. ENTER THE WEDDING PLANNER!

Beta: LinksAngel

Please please please review!

* * *

Zim woke up the next morning, dragging his feet down the hall until he got to Dib's room, knocking on the door.

Dib groaned in his sleep. "...stop!" he mumbled lightly, panting harshly as the sweat poured down.

"Dib?" Zim asked quietly, opening the door and peeking in before walking in and over to Dib's bed.

Dib tossed his head to the left and to the right, letting out little noises from the deep clutch of his throat, "Don't..!" He pleaded, chest rising and falling quickly.

Zim put his hands to Dib's shoulders, shaking him lightly to try and wake him up. "Dib, Dib get up!"

Dib breathed in quickly, snapping his eyes to see the blurred alien. He then quickly screamed, and pushed Zim back as hard as he could as he huddle up closer to the bed post, panting and fumbling for his glasses.

Zim gasped as he fell back, the back of his head hitting the wall, though not hard enough to injure too badly.

"SHIT!" He yelled, holding the back of his head gingerly.

Dib snatched his glasses and stood up on his bed defensively putting them on before he looked back down at Zim. "Z-Zim… you're… you're… Hi." He said, panting, and wiping some sweat down.

"Hi?" Zim asked, giving Dib a much more than annoyed look. "You nearly gave me a fucking concussion!"

"I didn't mean to you know," Dib crawled off of the bed slowly and went over to Zim. "Are you okay?" He examined the other's head carefully.

"Mm fine." Zim said, pouting slightly. "What was wrong with you anyway? You looked sick."

"Ah, yeah," Dib rubbed the back of his neck, feeling more of the horrible fluid of sweat. "I... wasn't having a good dream… at all. You started me when you woke me up. I thought you were a part of my nightmare."

"What were you nightmareing about?" Zim asked, antennae picking up curiously.

"I… uh… I was being killed by everything I loved most... and..." His voice went quiet. "Yeah. Yeah, that was it." He forced up a smile. "But these things are interesting. Once they're over, it's neat to just review them." Not true to Dib at all, his heart was still racing ninety miles per second.

"I see." Zim said, standing up and hold out his hand to help Dib up.

Dib stared lightly at the hand, taking it and pulling himself up thanks to Zim. "You're not still mad at me?"

"No not really." Zim said with a heavy breath. "I'm not in the mood to be mad right now."

"What are you in the mood to be then?" Dib asked, examining him for any sign of depression.

"I'm in the mood for breakfast and to get ready for this planner." Zim said, putting his hands on his hip and looking more self assured than he felt.

"Your wig is missing, you know." Dib flicked and antennae on the Irken's head, following him out of the room and down the stairs.

The antennae Dib touched twitched lightly and Zim stopped to feel the top of his head before saying, "Oh yeah, fell off when I was watching TV yesterday."

"Yeah, it's probably best if that's put back on _before _the lady get's here." He passed Zim by, heading for the kitchen. "What would you like for breakfast, dear?"

"Toast or something." Zim said, moving over to the couch and grabbing his wig, placing it back on and coming his fingers through it before calling out, "I gonna go get dressed."

"Okay," Dib chimed. "You go do that." He put floppy peaces of bread in the toaster, preparing to make SUPER TOAST.

Zim came back downstairs moments later in a black and neon green striped shirt with a black cut off tank over it with a bright green star on it and a black pair of pants lined in green. He wore of course his normal gloves but also one of the pairs of boots the man at the store picked out for them, they were a little higher than his normal boots which he liked very much. He also had on a black choker and green berets holding one side of his hair out of his face.

In the process of spreading jam on the toasted SUPER TOAST, Dib looked up to see Zim standing there in his black and green clothes, forcing him to accidentally dropping the toast in hand. "Zim?" He wondered before realizing there was toast and jam on the floor.

"What?" Zim asked, looking at Dib with one eye narrowed in confusion.

"Oh! Uh!" He quickly went down to pick up the fallen toast and threw it away. "Nothing.. that look just really suits you is all..." He went over to the plate with four readied toasts already, taking it over to Zim. "Here's your breakfast, Madam."

Zim smirked and took the plate, saying, "You think Zim is attraaaactive."

"I never said that!" Dib retorted, turning quickly so Zim couldn't examine his inwardly confused face. He went to his own plate of only three breads of toast (one being unfortunate enough to make out with the dirty floor and thrown away) and pulled it over to the table where he sat.

"But you implied it." Zim said, following Dib and sitting down with his toast.

"How?" Dib asked, taking a bite of his toast. "I just said the look suited you." He pouted, chewing his food slowly.

"And dropped your toast." Zim said, tilting his head in a smug way, causing some of the wig hair to fall in his face.

Dib glared. "You caught me off guard." He chomped into his crusty bread firmly.

"Is that your excuse for the stupid look you had on your face too?" Zim asked, taking another large bite of his toast.

Dib glared low now, cheeks a tinted red. That jam looked suspicious some how!

"I hate you." He grumbled, obviously loosing.

"So you admit it!? You like Zim's looks?" Zim asked, half smirking, half genuinely smiling at Dib.

"I admit nothing!" Dib clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to look at his victor's grin.

"Aw, so you... don't like Zim's looks?" Zim asked, looking down sadly, trying to tug at Dib's heart and make him feel guilty.

Dib opened his eyes, feeling panicky. "N-no! Zim, that's not what I meant! You.. You look.. good... or.. something.." Dib blushed harder, now looking far away to another angle.

"Really?" Zim asked in a fake 'I'll cry if you say no' voice.

Dib twitched forfeitingly at this. "Z-Zim… Y-yeah, you do... you look… cute."

"HA! I knew it!" Zim said, suddenly standing and pointing victoriously at Dib. "You DO think I'm attractive!"

Dib blushed harder, turning in his chair to face back towards the kitchen so Zim wouldn't see. "Yeah, as attractive as a cockroach."

Zim growled and grabbed Dib's shoulder, shouting, "But you just said I was cute!"

Dib looked up at him, his face velvet red. "Quit shouting! I know what I said!"

Just then the doorbell rang.

Zim looked from the door to Dib, then back to the door and back to Dib again before asking, "Are you going to get it?"

"Yeah. I think I will right now." Dib took this to his advantage, practically running to the door to keep Zim's eyes off of his face. He opened the door.

"Hello." He greeted.

There was a girl at the door with short strawberry blond hair cut to her chin. She looked as if she had just gotten out of high school and was merely working off of commission. Her attire was made completely out of pastels and whites.

"Hello, meep!" The girl tilted her head slightly, putting on the biggest smile in the world.

"You must be the wedding planner…" Dib mumbled. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?"

"Shelby!" The girl chirped in happily.

"Yes, yes, please come in." Dib held the door open, letting the younger female practically skip inside with her baby-pink shoes.

Zim snuck into the room without a sound, wanting to get a look at the planner before she could get a look at him and sighed, seeing how young she was, feeling much better about this now.

"OKAY! So, meep! Where's the lovely briiiide?" Shelby asked, looking about the room as Dib directed her to the couch.

Dib looked back at where Zim was peaking in, gesturing him to come over to the couch with them.

Zim walked over to where Dib was, not entirely sure what he should do.

Shelby crooked her head, getting a good look at the 'girl'. "OH-MY-GAWD! You look sooooo cuuuute, MEEP!" She hopped up and quickly grabbed Zim's gloved hands. "It's like, no wonder your gothic boyfriend loves you! You're like, the perfeeect maaaatch, meep!!" She grinned enthusiastically, almost to the point of bouncing up and down. "Okay, okay, okay!" She directed Zim to the couch. "You're name is 'Zimma', right? Oh my gawwww, you look sooo cute, Zimma!"

"Th-thank you." Zim said, leaning away from her slightly and grabbing on to Dib's hand in fright. This chick was, like, scary.

Dib looked slightly less mortified as Zim, stroking his hand with his other free one, trying to calm him down from this SUGAR HAPPY DISASTER waiting to happen.

"Zimma- There is like, nooothing for you to worry about as long as I'm here, alright, meep? I know, this must be liiiiiiiike.. sooo on your mind about the whole.. wedding planning thingy this whole time but like, meep, totally, just leave it to me, okay?" She happily scooted closer to the adorable couple. "Okay, first thing is first, right? Is this going to be a big public-like wedding, or.. liiiike.. is this going to be small and personal, meep...?" She asked, now taking out a small notebook hidden in her bag.

Zim looked to Dib, saying, "I-I dunno, it's really up to you isn't it... I don't have any family that would come."

Shelby looked from one to another. "Meep! You two havent even decided on that yet? That's baaaad... Well, Zimma, do you like his family?"

Dib scoffed.

"W-well, I um, I've only met his father and sister and both kind of scare me." Zim said, blushing a little.

"Let's make it small and personal then," Dib said, trying his best to help Zim out despite the circumstances.

"But Dad and Gaz are still coming."

Shelby took this in lightly, and scribbled that down on her notebook.

"Flowers, meep. What type of flowers would you like, Zimma?"

"I don't know, I'm not familiar with this pla- uh, this areas flowers, but, something pink maybe, I like red and purple too." Zim said, looking down at his hands.

"Roooses?" The girl asked very slowly as though English must be difficult for Zim.

Dib quickly barged in. "Yes, roses would be good." He didn't want Zim to be insulted by this girl, even if he himself liked insulting him.

"Riiiight..." Shelby wrote it down. "That means that we should make the whole wedding revolve around those colors.. I can do that! Since we wont reeeeally, like, need to be giving out invitations or whatever, uhhh, like, I was, like thinking maybe we can go onto other things like.. Meep... Zimma.. would you like candles all around the place or no?"

"S-sure, that sounds good." Zim said, trying very hard not to attack this woman's face.

"Okay! MEEP!" She happily wrote it down. "Now, would you like this indoor or outdoor?" She asked.

Even Dib was resisting his animalistic urges of wanting to rip her face off. Her annoying voice- that peppy twirl on the end of each sentence- the white! The pastel! Oh, woe were they.

"Indoor!" Zim said quickly. He'd seen all those romance movies with outdoor weddings. IT ALWAYS RAINED!

"Two more things before we go on to.. you know what." Shelby informed him, not actually knowing that Zim wouldn't know what 'you know what' was.

"What drinks, and when will this be?"

Zim cocked his head to the side and said, "Um, I'm not sure about drinks, when would be a good time for you?" Zim turned to Dib waiting for his input.

Dib shrugged. "Any."

This clearly made Shelby irritated by the 'I don't know' answers, and she began tapping her pen against her notebook, impatiently.

"I am not familiar with the drinks though I would 'like' to get married as soon as possible..."

_'So we can separate as soon as possible.'_

The girl sighed in her frustration and just wrote random things down. "Well, the soonest I can do all of this for you two, is like, a week. Is that, like, alright?"

Dib nodded. "For me it is." And he quickly kissed Zim on his wig.

"Same here. A week is fine." Zim said, nodding at the planner. He then turned to Dib and asked, "Where are we going to have this wedding?"

Dib nuzzled up against the 'girl'. "It doesn't matter to me. I suppose the nearest cathedral?"

Shelby made some more chicken scratches.

"Alright, that's it. The last real step is to pick out a wedding dress for Zimma, meep! But Dibbers, you cant come along." She made this fantastically loud high pitched giggle as though she had said something funny. "But you knew that already."

Zim's eyes went wide. He'd have to go somewhere with this chick... alone!? "L-like... right now?" He asked.

"Oh no. We can wait till tomorrow, after all, it'll take all day and I really should get started on these things here, meep!" She waved her notebook up to show him. She stood and took one of Zimma's hands in her own. "We're going to have, like, SO MUCH FUUUUN, I'm suuuure of it! I just cant wait till tomorrow. The wedding dress part, is like, my favorite paaaarrrrt. Meep."

"Thank you for your time and help." Dib smiled, still not letting go of Zim, for fear if he did, she'd take his hand as well.

"Ye-yeah, sounds like fun." Zim said, trying his best to keep up apearances. "Can't wait."

Dib rubbed Zim's hand nervously some more as Shelby walked on passed them by. "I'll like, see you at ten tomarow, Zimmaaaa, Meep!" And out the door she went.

Dib reclined, sighing.

Zim leaned against Dib, totally relaxed and forgetting completely the human had a hold of him. He was comfortable, much more so now that Shelby was gone.

Dib rested his head on the smaller male's. "Well that's something I'd never want to live through again..."

Then he remembered. He will.

"Me too." Zim said, closing his eyes and completely loosening up, something he never thought he'd be able to do around Dib, though the happiness that came with the scary lady being gone made it possible.

"Zim?" Dib asked very softly like a whisper, giving Zim's hand a small squeeze. "What are you doing...?"

Zim's eyes shot open and quickly moved to the other side of the couch, the smell of the planner's perfume still hanging around that air space. "I-I don't know what you're talking about, Dib-stink." He said, scratching the side of his face.

"Right, whatever." Dib stared away, suddenly missing his heat source. He gave Zim a quick glance. "You're all flustered."

"Yeah, well, your human females are almost as scary as irken ones." Zim said, crossing his arms.

Dib cocked a brow at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"The- the reason I'm flustered. " Zim explained. "She was scary."

Dib concentrated hard on his blushing face, crawling over to him and slowly pulling closer to his face. His hand softly came up to rest on Zim's cheek as he let his lips inch closer.

Zim's eyes went wide in confusion and surprise as he waited to see what exactly Dib was doing.

Dib's own eyes shut as he slowly let his lips on the other male's, laying a soft kiss on his lips.

Zim didn't move, couldn't move, too shocked by what Dib was doing. He didn't know what to do. Did he kiss back? Did he shove Dib to the ground? Did he sit there like an idiot, like he was doing now? He finally decided he was going to test Dib's intentions and so he kissed back, letting his eyes fall half-way shut.

They stayed like this for what seemed like hours of stoppable time, when perhaps it had only been maybe a few seconds. Dib, rewarded with Zim kissing him back, first drew back his hand, before pulling an inch away from Zim's face, slowly opening his eyes. "How.. was that..?"

Zim's eyes went wide again. So THAT's what he was doing?

A blush slowly spread across his face and he turned his head away to try and hide it, saying, "M-much better."

Dib smiled, pulling further out of Zim's personal space. "Good.. Cause.. that blush earlier... just reminded me so much of a girl so.. I tried to do what you said and imagined you purely as 'Zimma' and.. well, that's the result!" He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head, not even bothering to look at Zim at the moment, too caught up in his own awkwardness.

Zim released a deep breath as if that would help cool him down. He put his hands on his hips and said, though still blushing slightly, "See? What did I tell you?"

"Ye-yeah! You were right. I'm sorry I doubted you. I thought I couldn't do it, honestly." He continued his nervous laugh before pulling closer to Zim once more. "But you did look pretty cute there for a second."

Zim sighed and looked up at Dib with just his eyes, saying, "Thanks, that almost makes me feel better..."

"Would you rather me lie and call you ugly?" Dib smirked.

"So, you DO think Zim is attractive?" Zim asked sincerely, giving Dib the honor of having his hole face facing him.

Dib stared back, feeling his cheeks grow hot. "Um.. I.. I don't feel like talking about this anymore, Zim." He sat back casually, looking for an escape rout; an excuse to leave, or something.

Zim only sighed and went into the kitchen, going through the fridge, only to find... "You have no sodas, Dib-stink... or much of any thing."

Dib turned in his seat. "Oh.. yeah.. I need to go shopping and.. I was going to bring you along for you to pick out foods you can actually eat.. Though, any food or drink in the house would be nice for me, as well." Dib mumbled.

Zim turned to Dib and nodded, saying, "Good idea, when are we going?"

"Um, I'm going to go take a shower real quick, and then we can go if you want." Dib suggested, pulling himself off of the couch and heading for the stairs.

"Ok," Zim said, moving to sit on the couch, turning on the TV.

Dib smiled, climbing up the stairs. He felt today had gone pretty well so far with the exception of the scary, meeping wedding planner, Shelby.

He opened the bathroom door, letting out a long stretch as he did so, closing the door on behind him. He proceeded taking off his shirt. "With how things are going between Zim and I, it seems as though we might actually become fr-"

Something caught Dib's attention out of the corner of his eye.

Something blue.

It was small, but very defined and vibrant in color, smeared on the cabinet door.

Dib knew that color blue from anywhere, and he slowly opened the cabinet, his very fear being realized.

Zim crossed his legs, cringing slightly as he felt one of the not-quite-healed-yet cuts on his thigh rub against the jeans.

Dib walked out of the bathroom several minutes later in a whole new attire, wearing a buttoned down white t-shirt and his casual black trip pants with blue lining. "So, are you ready, Zim?" Dib grinned widely towards the alien.

"Yep!" Zim called, turning off the TV and standing up to face Dib, frowning instantly. "What's up with you?"

Dib continued his great big smile. "Nothing! So let's go!" He turned towards the door, opening it and waiting for Zim.

"Allllright." Zim said, eyeing Dib for a moment before walking out and over to the passenger side of the car.

Dib hopped into the car as well, still smiling brightly, fear reaming his eyes. He pulled out into the driveway and began for the grocery store.

Zim crossed his legs once more, shifting slightly and once again cringing at the small bit of pain the action brought.

Dib flinched slightly but kept his bright scary smile that could possibly remind people of a certain counselor named "Dwicky".

"Hey, so, Zim... You woke me up this morning.. and I've been meaning to ask you.. what brought you to my room to do such things?" He asked, trying to free his mind.

"I woke up and was just going to go watch TV, but you were making noises in your sleep and I wanted to know why." Zim said with a shrug.

"I… wasn't talking in my sleep, was I?" Dib's smile slipped away some.

"No, but you were moaning and groaning and you looked sick." Zim said. He looked over at Dib with one eye brow raised and asked, "Why, something I should know about?"

Dib shook his head lightly. "No, I just… wouldn't quite care for my dreams and nightmares being invaded. It's kind of personal; dreams are to me, that is."

"Oh," Zim said simply "I guess I can understand that."

The rest of the car ride went in silence till Dib parked in the parking lot. He sighed, putting his fake smile back on as he left his seat of the car.

Zim growled as he got out of the car, looking over the top at Dib and saying, "Alright, that's really starting to bug me. What the HELL is that smile for!?"

Dib shook his head, letting out a light laugh. "I don't know what you're talking about, Zimma."

"You're smiling all weird like you don't really want to smile. Now tell me what's going through your head."

Dib cringed, letting his whole face fall once again. "I don't think right here's the right place to talk to you about it…" He replied, slowly stepping to Zim's side of the car, tucking his hands into his pocket lazily.

"Here isn't the right place to talk to me about what? Huh? What is it!?" Zim asked, taking a step back in a show that he was not going any where with Dib until he got answers.

Dib debated within himself, fumbling his hand into his pocket, daring himself to pull it out, but deciding against it. "DAMNIT, ZIM! I'm trying to be alright about this!! Damn... Do you REALLY want to know just THAT fucking badly?" He asked, almost threateningly so. "This is tearing me apart! So excuuuuse me to try to be nice about it!"

"Yes I want to know! That 'fucking' smile of yours is driving me crazy!" Zim almost yelled.

Dib narrowed his eyes, snatching up Zim's wrist, and pulling him closer so he could see the knife with blue blood painted on it from his pocket. "Is this yours?"

Zim stared at the knife with wide eyes before laughing nervously and asking, "Wh-which? The blood or the knife?"

Dib narrowed his eyes even more. "Zim!" He called out, gripping his wrist harder. "Why on hell and earth would you do that?!" The human looked angry, ferocious, and a little bit hurt as he stared at the disguised other. The knife in his hand growing shaky and weak.

Zim wanted to cry as the reason he had been cutting came back to him but instead he took that sadness and turned it into anger directed towards Dib, so as not to appear weak to the human.

"Because I FELT like it! I was bored so I stole one of your damned knives and COMPLETELY shredded my thighs! You should fucking see them! No place left to cut hardly!"

Dib felt horror crawl up his skin, and a sickening, disgusted feeling boil in his stomach. No place left to cut? Was it really that bad? And for him to do it just because he wanted to..?

"You… you diced up your legs for no reason whatsoever? What the fuck is WRONG with you?" He wanted to throw up. Depression starting to hit him now as well, but he couldn't just break down or Zim would break down and do this all over again.

"I don't KNOW what's wrong with me!" Zim yelled. "If I did do you think there'd be a problem!? Do you think I'd do something like this if I KNEW what the problem was!?" Zim gave Dib a hard shove and yanked his wrist back.

"I'm a DEFECT a fucking DEFECT that no one wants around! That's why I can't reach my Tallest. THAT'S why they left me here!" The tears started to finally let themselves go, sliding down Zim's face.

"Zim..." Was all Dib could say at Zim, looking up at him from the floor he was shoved down to. "Of course you're a defect if you're going to cut yourself..." Dib mumbled softly. "That just makes you all the more stupid... don't hurt yourself... I beg of you…" He looked down, ashamed to see the Irken crying.

"Just shut up Dib." Zim said, his hands clenching at his sides. "Just shut UP!" He swung at Dib with a fist, not caring if he really hit the human or not before he took off running, ashamed at not only having been caught hurting himself but also for showing such weakness in front of Dib.

Dib rubbed his soar eye. His glasses having broke due to such a ferociously angry punch. "D-damnit!" He stood up shakily, stuffing the knife in his pocket as he checked his eye for any blood. "ZIM! COME BACK!" He cursed, totally caught blind now from the glasses he couldn't even find. "Of all the bullshit... and he's probably going to cut himself, too…" Dib mumbled.

As Dib's eyes lay broken, sets of other eyes watched as Zim ran off, snickering evilly to one another.

Zim ran for about ten minutes before he felt he was safe from Dib. No way could the human keep up with him when he was running like that. No way.

A few snickers were heard around Zim, coming from multiple directions. Some seemed to taunt him, singing out, mockingly "Ziiiim..." The snickers got closer along with the sound of rattling chains.

Zim looked around him quickly, eyes wide, scarred Dib may have followed him and was going to shock him for running away... or worse.

Out of hiding, these teenage guys on bikes pull out and start circling Zim like sharks, making kissy faces at him, laughing and taunting.

"Hey, Baby!" One of them grinned wickedly, taking a hold of Zim's arm while he circled. "Why not spend the night with us? We'll have you cut -all night- if you want." His friends laughed, obviously having something else in mind for Zim.

"Yeah, Zimmy-pooh… We'll make sure to have a lot of fun with you…"

"Back off!" Zim yelled, yanking his arm back.

The teenagers looked younger than Zim, but that didn't matter to them; he had the frame of a woman, and was a cutter at that, making 'her' all the more weak.

They snickered, and one by one got off of their bikes, coming boxing Zim up.

"Come on, we wont treat you TOO roughly!" One of the boys grinned wickedly, pushing the boy up against another, taller teen, which just grabbed him by around the chest.

Zim growled threateningly at the teens before trying to pry the arms from around him, saying, "Let go! You all can rot in hell!"

"But we don't want to do that." One of the boys grinned, pulling his hands to Zim's shirt, lifting it without the other's permission as all of the rest just laughed.

Zim's eyes went wide and he tried to struggle away but he had very little room. "Don't- don't touch me!" He yelled.

The main guy pulling up Zim's shirt paused abruptly, letting his knuckles rest on Zim's chest as he stared at what was suppose to be under the other's shirt and was not. All laughing stopped. His face twisted with absolute disgust. "You're a- GUY?"

He glared at the other with such hatred and sickening fury. "That's sick!"

Some of the other guys backed off, as the male holding Zim just tightened his grip. "You're GAY!"

Zim was frozen completely just the small touch of the human's skin on his own causing panic to rise. "S-stop touching me..."

"B-Bro!! This isn't a chick!! What now?"

The main teen just turned his glare at his friend before smirking deviously. "What do you think?" He gripped Zim's shirt even tighter, matching the bottom of the shirt to the collar, and taking a hand to grab the knife in his pocket. "We're going to show him what we do to FAGGOTS!"

Zim tensed and held his breath, trying to move backwards but having no where to go.

"Good going, Bro!" One of the idiots sang.

The center teen just pulled closer to Zim, pressing the knife up against his cheek and pulling it down to the tip of his chin. "So, where are your lady-powers now?" He breathed on his other cheek, grinning evilly.

Dib rushed as fast as he could, following a radar responding to the tracking device implanted in Zim's PAK.

Bearing a swollen eye, and no glasses, he listened to the beeps get faster on his stitched arm as he followed nearer and nearer where he presumed Zim was crying, only to hear boys harassing some one.

He slowed his pace, grabbing firmly the blue bloody knife in his pocket for protection, if he'd need it, or to even step it, although that wouldn't be quite the smart idea seeing how blind he was at this moment.

Zim started trembling, his brain trying to grip at a thought, any thought to keep himself from going into shock. 'This is all Dib's fault.' Was the thought he chose. 'If I could get into my pak this wouldn't be happening. I NEED my pak.'

The beeping got louder, making one of the punks turn over to see the blinded man with a knife. He smirked.

"Hey, Bro. Take a look at this idiot." He pointed at Dib.

The other three guys looked over to the wobbling man, all smirking just as deviously.

"Hey, you're the guy who made this fagot run off. Good going. We got the little mouse where we want him now, so you can just go away. I cant say we should thank you; he's not really a girl, so it's less rewarding." He laughed.

Dib narrowed his eyes, rubbing his arm with his thumb, turning the radar off. "Z-Zim? You got confused and began harassing ZIM?" Dib asked, taking unsure steps forward, gripping his knife tightly, earning a few smirks from the guys holding Zim.

"Mercutio, pin this fagot. I want to have a talk with this goth boy over here." The 'bro' spoke, grinning towards Dib.

At that moment, the guy holding Zim fell to his knees, taking Zim with him, his grip still on his chest. He shoved his face down to the ground and kneed him between his legs.

Zim grunted, snapping out of his daze. "Get off!" He yelled trying to push up.

Mercutio grinned down at the cross-dressing Zim. "Not if you paid me."

Dib calmly took a step back as he saw a blurry figure approach him; one he presumed was the leader. Perhaps his knife wouldn't cut it?

The grinning man pulled his knife into a much different grip, pulling it to the air, and made for a stabbing movement at Dib.

Dib fortunately, took this the calm route and just easily slitted the knife against the other's throat as he came down on his shoulder.

Mercutio let go of Zim and ran to his leader, the other two following him as they checked on him, pulling out their own knifes and growling and yelling at the doubled over Dib.

Zim got up and took a moment to collect himself before grabbing the back of one of the boy's shirts, his face contoured in anger.

The guy looked back in surprise, staring at shock at the horrifyingly vicious look. He squinted his eyes shut to brave himself for when he swiped his knife at Zim, the other guys staring in shock as well.

Zim turned his head to the side to avoid getting more than just a slice on the cheek before turning on the boy and punching him, hard, feeling something break under his fist.

"Z-Zim!" Dib held his shoulder, pulling up, unable to see what was going on, who was beating who.

The boy gasped, doubling under the fist. His _spine_ had broken from the force of Zim's punch. Mercutio ran to his friend's aid, knife in hand as he tried to take a stab at Zim as well, the other boy quickly finding the blind-as-a-bat Dib to his advantage, and pulled a knife on his throat as Mercutio had abandoned him for straight-up-offence.

Zim jumped back ready to use his spider legs for a quick finish but remembered at the last minute he couldn't and he quickly tried to think of way to beat these kids without getting too close.

Mercutio grabbed his friend, pulling him to the ground as he screamed in pain from his broken back.

The guy with the knife to Dib's throat let out a rough laugh. Dib felt the sweat build up on him. His shoulder absolutely killing him now, blood drenching his white button-up shirt.

"I have an idea, Emo. Why don't you just go away and cut yourself, and I'll make sure that I wont hurt your little gay friend's body up _too _bad and give him more time to live before I'll kill him," He let out an angry chuckle, tears building up in his own eyes from the sudden death of one of his friends and the pain of another. "Or you could continue to stand there and I'll just kill him right away. How's that?"

Dib sighed, feeling a bit weak from the loss of blood, not really caring whichever one Zim chose at the moment. His dizziness kicking in aloud him to just want to pass out at the moment and let fate take over.

Zim glared at the human for a moment before quickly looking around for something to uses as a weapon, finding nothing but a metal bar... wait that could work! He rushed over to it and picked it up. The bar was short and he could never hit the human with it before HIS human was injured further, so instead he impulsively threw it at the human's face.

The teen holding the weakened Dib felt back hard, falling into a concussion, letting the blood stain the metal rod and his face alike.

Dib fell to his knees before softly letting his chest onto the ground to rub up against it slightly. Every little prick of rub burn was a reminder to his senses that yes, he was still indeed alive.

Mercutio hollered out for his other friend, now letting the pained broken-back boy down and running over to the one with the broken bloodied face, crying onto his chest hard.

Zim went over to Dib quickly with out thinking, nudging him slightly and asking, "Dib? You ok?"

Dib looked up towards the voice. If he couldn't see badly enough before due to no glasses, now he had no chance to identify any blurb.

"Yes… I think so..." Dib cringed from the pain and he held his shoulder tighter. "What exactly happened in the last two minutes...?" He hovered his torso over to lean up against Zim to make everything feel more stable. The sound of the babbling pained idiots echoing loudly in whimpers.

"I'll explain later. Right now we should get out of here." Zim said, pulling Dib up with him and putting the human's uninjured arm over his shoulders.

Dib walked to the best of his ability, which was pretty good minus a few stumbles and weak knees. They continued walking until they saw the car in view, but Dib obviously couldn't drive. "Zim..?" Dib voiced almost silently.

"I'll-I'll try." Zim said, walking over to the car.

Dib wobbled his head from left to right. "No… I… I was going to apologize… for earlier… making you run off like that... I… should have approached it more gently or... maybe not at all, hell; it's not even my business…" Dib mumbled, being pulled to the car with Zim.

"I- no, don't apologize... I shouldn't have done that in the first place, it's just, our conversation yesterday, it brought up some bad memories." Zim said, sitting them both next to the car for a little rest.

Dib sighed, wanting to apologize again for that, although he knew not why. This was his enemy after all, but his fiancé, nevertheless.

"You… beat … I don't know how many humans... so quickly, Zim…"

"I'm a soldier." Zim said, drawing his knees up, wincing a little as his jeans once more brushed his thighs. "Killing is one of the things we're trained to do."

"I lied earlier." He added as an after thought.

"About what..?" Dib asked, smearing some blood on his head as he held his forehead to stop the throbbing and spinningness.

"I only cut my thighs three times." Zim said, standing up once more and pulling Dib up. "Want me to try driving or are we walking?" He asked.

Dib stared at the greenish blurb in front of him for a moment, letting his heart spike itself up with relief at what Zim had said- its previous broken state having to be sewn up. He quickly through his working arm around Zim, embracing him as tightly as he could. "Yes.. yes.. you can drive..." He nuzzled the boy, feeling the rush of emotions through him.

Zim tensed in surprise before relaxing against Dib, asking, "Practice...?"

Dib vigorously shook his head until his knees went out under him for a moment. "No.. Not practice... A thanks.. Y-you.. .. only three times.." Dib let out a small chuckle. "Although it.. shouldn't have been any at all... you.. had scared me before!! I'm so relieved!" He held him tighter, nuzzling his nose to the other's neck in appreciation.

"Yo-you're welcome." Zim said, hugging back.

Dib pulled away from Zim, holding a hand on his shoulder just to keep his own balance. He then slowly turned around, feeling the car and, running his hand along it, found the passenger's side and got in.

Zim went over to the driver's side, going over that 'Driver's Ed' class he took while in high school in his head.

Did silently fell into a dreamless sleep, attributed and thanks to his 'light' shoulder wound.

Zim managed to get them back to Dib's house in one piece, though he did hit a few squirrels along the way.

When they were at the house Zim turned to Dib, wondering if he should wake Dib up or not, finally deciding he should though, just in case. "Hey," He said, lightly poking Dib's head. "Wake up Dib-beast."

Dib's head only moved by Zim's claw, and by nothing else. He stayed perfectly still, unconsciousness had already enveloped Dib and licked the seal shut, preventing him from waking up by simple physical or verbal request. He needed his shoulder fixed.

Zim sighed and went over to the other side of the car and pulled Dib out, carrying the human bridal style to the door, into the house, then up to his room. "Alright, how do I do this?" He asked himself before placing Dib on his bed and starting to clean and seal the wound.

* * *

Zim: The mighty me!

Shelby/Gang of kids/ Dib: The Almighty Smallest! (Isn't she tallented!?)


	12. Chapter 12

Hey there. It's chapter twelve!

Just thought I should let you all know. This story is done! We have everything written out already, I'm cleaning everything up, it's gettin sent to a beta, and we will keep posting forever! I will never stop, so never fear.

Also I would like you all to know that the sequal is being writen now, as we speak! WOO! GO US!

* * *

Dib slowly opened his eyes, unaware that he had ever fallen asleep. He startled a bit, finding himself quickly gripping his bandaged shoulder. "Z-Zim? Is that you?" He stared at the green and black figure overhead. "Where am I? Why is my… Did you bandage my wound?" Dib asked, a little shocked and bewildered at the alien.

"Yeah," Zim said, flopping himself into a chair and peeling off his gloves, looking distastefully at the burn marks there. "You humans. You have water EVERY where."

"Yeah… we do…" Dib pulled himself up using one arm. "What happened back there, anyway? I sort of can't see."

"Oh, um," Zim started, blushing a little. "The-the humans that were- that had me cornered, they over heard our argument in the parking lot and followed me. I-I guess you kinda saved me."

"I see..." Dib wondered a bit. "Why do you sound so nervous though?" he rested his hands in his lap, gathering warmth from the blanket.

"They... one of them held me in place and the other one lifted up my shirt, that's how he found out I was male, and his skin touched mine." Zim put a hand to his forehead and rested his elbow on his knee. "I-I couldn't even move..."

Dib knitted his brow in concern. "Is it that difficult to be touched...? I… touched your cheek earlier today… when I kissed you…" Dib offered.

"Yeah it is, but it's not as bad as with my face." Zim said, sighing.

Dib sighed. "Thanks, by the way… for um… coming to my rescue as well… and… fixing up my shoulder..." He pulled himself out of his bed, and placed his hand on the wall as he shuffled his way to his closet.

"Hey Dib..." Zim said in a very 'I'm about to have some kind of emotional breakdown' way.

Dib stopped what he was doing to look over towards Zim's voice. "Yes?"

"I can still smell the disgusting humans on me. I need to be clean." Zim said, rubbing his arms lightly as if that would make the germs go away.

Slowly realization hit Dib. "How would you clean yourself normally?" He went back to his closet, feeling around in some boxes aimlessly.

"Cleansing chalk or a fluid bath when I feel like relaxing." Zim answered, hugging onto himself.

Dib began thinking for a bit, ruffling around some more. "Can I trust you to go back to your base and get some?" He asked, finally finding what he was looking for and stumbling out of the closet.

"Yeah." Zim said, wondering if Dib would REALLY let him go to his base all by himself.

Dib found his way back to his bed and sat, placing his old taped-up glasses Zim had broken years ago when he was in middle school on his face, looking around. "There! I can see! Unfortunately, I feel like nerd again." He grumbled, fiddling with the tape on the nose piece, in-between the two cracked lenses.

"Well, I'm gonna go get my chalk." Zim said, standing up and stretching.

"Now that I've got my glasses, I'll come with you." Dib smiled almost mockingly as he stood up. His shoulder throbbed, but he ignored it as he pulled up closer to Zim. "Computer, please put away any medical equipment." He announced, the computer sighed boredly as the tables used to fix up Dib's arm and shoulder finally retreated into the wall. Dib chose to study Zim's face as all of that was going on.

Zim blinked at Dib for a moment before groaning. He was really hoping to have a little alone time. Oh well. He sighed, "Alright, let's just go already."

Dib nodded with a yeah and followed Zim out.

"You're cheek," Dib brought up, half way out of the front door. "Is it alright?"

"It's fine." Zim said, wiping the dried blood off his cheek.

Dib frowned. "You helped me, but neglected yourself." He sighed, looking off in front of them as he began simply walking towards Zim's house instead of taking the car.

"It's fine." Zim insisted, putting his hands behind his back as he walked.

The human took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "It's none of my business but… you're not… going to hurt yourself anytime soon, are you..?"

"No, you took the knife didn't you?" Zim said, giving Dib an annoyed look.

Dib stopped and looked at Zim. "Zim… you know... I… Really don't like you doing that to yourself… and… it… kind of hurts me… to know you hurt you..." He sighed and continued on once again. "I'm sorry if this is… pressuring you or something but… just…" He paused. " ... I don't know…" He then rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"I... don't care." Zim said stubbornly. "It makes me feel better. It was your stupid Earth society that taught me of this habit anyway."

"How does it make you feel better when you're just knocking yourself deeper in depression from it?" He asked, stumbling over the word 'depression' a little. "I'm not exactly proud, you know, that my society does it either. If my society is so stupid, you should strain yourself even harder to not do it, right?" He struggled back in hope that his heart could be mended with the knowledge that Zim wouldn't do it again.

Zim cringed and grumbled, knowing Dib was right. "I... guess."

It went quiet again as Zim's base slowly came into view. Only the sounds of the afternoon crickets and Zim's and Dib's foot steps accompanied them.

After a while the bright green house came into view and Zim stopped as a thought struck him. Why hadn't he thought about this before?

"Dib...there might be a few issues with leaving the house."

Dib stopped. "If you plan on trying anything.. Just forget it. I've got everything I need to hurt you right on me.."

"No, it's not that." Zim said, shaking his head. "It's Gir."

Realization hit Dib, but he continued onward. "Right. I forgot about Gir..."

"Me too. Poor Gir." Zim said, walking up to the front door.

Dib looked up at the men's restroom sign on the door. "Your base always weirded me out." He mumbled, letting himself in.

"Good," Zim said, smirking at Dib before opening the door.

Dib sent him a short-lived glare, walking around inside. The place was the same as it has always been. Nothing ever changed about it except for a few more gadgets would be lying around on the floor, more and more.

"I'll get the chalk, you just wait here." Zim said, making his way over to the elevator.

"Okay… be quick though..." Dib started messing with the skin on his stitched arm, ready to shock Zim if he had to.

Zim took the elevator down to his personal room, the same level as the bathroom as well where he kept his cleansing chalk. Thoughts of commanding his computer to take Dib out crossed his mind, but he knew it would never work. Dib always escaped.

Dib waited patiently for Zim by the door. Every second that went by, the more fidgety his fingers to his arm got in fear Zim would try something.

Zim came up a few minutes later with a bag of cleaning stuffs he would need, saying with a sigh, "Alright lets go before Gir notices."

Dib perked his attention up at Zim, taking his fingers off of his arm and heading towards the door as well, in a bit of a rush to avoid Gir.

Zim followed, though hesitantly, stopping every now and then to move something a few inches to the side or put something up right that Gir had knocked over.

Dib waited for him outside, a little anxious. Before waiting too long, however, he started back tracking towards the home, staring at Zim.

Zim put one more vase up right before sighing and saying, "I'm coming." And moving to the door.

Dib pouted at the OCD tendencies that the alien seemed to have. It had only been a few days since he had Irknapped Zim, and already he was home cleaning out the door.

"Gir's so messy. He can't do anything without me." Zim said, stepping up next to Dib.

"Why not work on him? Install things to make him smarter?" Dib asked, taking a hand to his bandaged shoulder subconsciously as they walked back.

"I tried to a few times. Something always went wrong. Besides, if I did, you wouldn't still have me captive would you?" Zim pointed out, making his way back to Dib's house. "Why did you move so close to me anyway?"

Dib snorted. "Isn't that obvious? To keep an eye on you, what else?"

"Do you have cameras in my house?" Zim asked, narrowing an eye at Dib.

"Use to!" Dib smiled at him as if there was nothing wrong with that. "But only for a short while... ... I think I hate waffles now, too."

"Good." Zim said, crossing his arms.

"Why? Do you doanything embarrassing?" Dib smirked, making it to his door and opening it up for both of them.

"How would you like it if I put cameras in YOUR house?" Zim asked, stabbing a finger at Dib.

"Point taken, point taken." The human glared at Zim, rubbing the poked muscle, and finding the couch.

"You know, we never did what we set out to do." Dib snickered. "But I could always hire some one to do that... It still won't be food we know you could eat, however."

"It doesn't matter; I can eat most foods that aren't raw fruits or vegetables." Zim said, sitting down in his corner of the couch.

Dib sighed, adjusting his broken old glasses, remembering what had happened earlier. "You got rid of all of those guys earlier… quickly... I don't recall you being that strong during our fights… Well, I mean, you were strong but… Not efficient."

"You never really... scared me that much. I mean you did but, not like that." Zim said, bringing his knees up and laying his forehead on them. "You can keep Earth, Dib. I don't want it."

Dib stared at the Irken, studying him harshly now. "You… you mean you'll stop trying to..." All of this all of a sudden! Was he serious, or was this a trap?

"Yeah, I'll stop." Zim said, leaning back and crossing his arms in a pout. "This planet is of no use. It's made of over seventy percent ACID, its people are weak so there's no source of labor, and it has few natural resources."

"Oh, I see." Dib replied, a soft smile playing on his lips, although he wanted to punch himself in his stomach. Why did this feel so wrong, so weird, so horrible, so dreadful, so absolutely disturbing? "Then… no more of that, huh?"

"Yeah, no more of that. You win." Zim said, closing his eyes and adding, "I hate humans."

Dib's stomach curled in just as hard as it did when Zim had told him he diced up his thighs so bad there wasn't another place to cut. "Go Earth..." He knew he should be happy, really he did, but what was preventing that? "Excuse me." He stood up and ran up stairs, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Zim looked in the direction Dib had disappeared in before standing up and making his way up the stairs. He wondered for a moment if he could get away with stealing another knife but decided against it. After all, it hadn't turned out so well when he tried it this time.

Dib leaned over the toilet with his head down. Where did this nauseating feeling come from? What was wrong with him? Suddenly, like snapping out of one trance and into another, Dib shot his head up at the door, opening it and quickly running past Zim and on to the kitchen. He had to get drunk.

Zim followed Dib with his eyes, blinking a few times in confusion before following Dib back down the stairs and asking, "Dib, what the hells wrong with you?"

"I don't know and I don't care to know! I'm fixing the problem." Dib explained, almost urgently as he opened the fridge and pulled out vodka, snapping it open and sticking it to his lips immediately.

"What is that?" Zim asked, watching unsurely as Dib swallowed the drink.

"Alcohol!" Dib chugged, "To get me drunk-" he chugged some more. "As fast as I can!" He slammed it down on the table and exhaled greatly, quenching his watering eyes to get use to the feeling.

"What- why?" Zim asked, grabbing the bottle from Dib and holding it away. "Why would you want to get drunk?"

Dib made his way to Zim and tried to grasp the vodka from him. "I-I don't know! I just want it right now! Please!" Dib reached out some more, giving Zim a half angered, half desperate look. "It's going to make me happy!"

Zim rolled his eyes and hesitated but gave Dib the bottle before sitting in a chair at the kitchen table and watching Dib boredly.

The affects slowly began to kick in as he took more large gulps of the liquid. He stumbled over to the table, taking a seat next to Zim and resting his head on the table, a bit more relaxed now. "Wants some?" He asked, taking another chug.

Zim gave Dib a very unimpressed look before sighing and holding out his hand, saying, "Sure."

Dib picked the bottle up slightly, and pulled it over to Zim to try. "I think I know why..."

Zim took the bottle and took a swig of the liquid inside, cringing a little as it made his antennae curl before asking, "Know why what?"

"Why I wanted to get drunk…" Dib's voice hitched a little in the middle, but he lazily covered his mouth as though it was improper.

"Why?" Zim asked, taking a bigger swig of the drink.

"I'm addicted, you see!!" Dib smiled softly, sticking up a finger in the air, taking the bottle from Zim to take a large gulp before giving it back.

"That's stupid." Zim said, pulling off the wig he was wearing, the heat from the drink becoming way too much. "That's like me saying I'm addicted to cutting myself. But I can stop anytime I want to."

He took another large drink, enjoying the way it made his antennas curl and made him completely ignore the fact that Dib's spit was on the mouth of the bottle.

"Nooo, no no no no!" Dib waved his hands in the air, absentmindedly taking the bottle from Zim again and taking his own swig, handing it back. "I'm not addicted to DRINKING! That IS stupid… no… I'm addicted to problems... I don't think I can think of having a life without'm. It's… I don't know what to do without problems…" He rubbed his forehead, his eyes feeling heavy. "And quit cutting. It's not cool. If you can stop then justs do its."

"Well, if it's not cutting it's something else." Zim said before taking yet another drink, feeling his head get a little hazy. "You know-you know what my addiction was the LAST time you left me, and you, and you went to go study REAL SCIENCE? Food. Dear Irk I love food." He took another drink. "I got-I got so FAT and I, geeze, I don't even know how I lost all those inches. It just kinda went away."

Dib raised a brow at Zim grinning. "You? Fat? Nahhhh. You's could never be's fat!" He chuckled. "I on the other hand.. without you.. without my problem of chasing you.. I became the opposite." He leaned back, letting his head rest on the top of the chair. "I sort of became anorexic... although that's straaange for guys you know.. and especially of my age.. m'mm... I just.. needed control over my's life for a change." He lolled his tongue out in thought.

"And you call me emo? I mean, come on, at least _I _have a reason to mutilate myself. You're just, you're just a big baby!" Zim said, pointing at Dib with the hand that was holding the bottle.

Dib snorted. "What? And what exactly did you do when I went to college again? Cut yourself?! HA!" He laughed, leaning his head against the table once again. "I'm nots emo. Just maybe.. drunk. Yes. I'm drunk right now, I thinks. Yeah.. Yeah I am. Now, youuuu! Youuuuu.." He pointed a lazy finger at Zim. "Youuuu are soooooo emo! Like.. can I.. see your scars?"

"Wha!?" Zim asked as if he couldn't beleive what just came out of Dib's mouth but started to take his pants off anyway. This time he was wearing underpants. "I-I'm not emo. I'm just... I'm just... yeah, ok, I'm emo, but, you have, ah, you just have NO idea..." He pulled his pants down to his knees, showing off various scars up and down his thighs and his black underpants.

"Then.. what idea do I not have?" Dib asked, peering down to his thighs, face dipped in between the two, getting a good look from his drunken wobbly vision. "Do they hurt..?" Dib asked, poking one gently.

"Nope, not 'nymore." Zim said. "Well, not 'nless they get opened again. That's a bitch to deal with."

He leaned back against the back of his chair and sighed, saying, "Hate women... they're such...animals."

Dib rested the side of his very drowsy head on Zim's knee, tracing the scars with his fingers. "Yeah.. I know.. but why do you know?"

In Zim's half drunken state he didn't care whether Dib was touching him or not and he just closed his eyes before saying with a laugh. "I was married to one, 'member?" He let his head lull to the side before saying, "But, no, she was never a problem. She was sweet. It was her friends that I couldn't stand. So tall and... crap. Thought they were better than everyone else. They hated that she married me. Not even out of the academy yet, and short." He turned and angry face up to the sky and yelled, "Well how do you like me now BITCHES!? Taller 'n YOU that's for sure!!!"

Did made a long drawn out noise before lifting his head to grab the bottle, chugging more down and making a distasteful snapping noise with his mouth. "Yeah.. yeaaaah... Women, man! Women! World is.. betters without'm I say! I cant.. find a single chick.. worth spending my time with. They're all shallow. ALL OF THEM, I say.." He frustratedly laid his head back down, staring at Zim's black underwear. "M'mmm, Ziiim? Were you sexually abused or raped or somethings?"

"Mm, no, not really." Zim said, looking up in thought, putting a finger to his chin. "Well, I mean, I didn't choose to have sex with half the people I've been in bed with. But that sort of thing is normal. Hardly traumatizing. Well, 'cept that one time." Zim said, taking the bottle again and taking a drink.

Dib drew zig zags over his scars. "So it's really not taboo on Irk, eh? .. M'mmm.. then what 'one time' you talk'n about?"

"My 'wife's' friends decided to hold her a party to celebrate her marriage and they all got drunk." Zim said, making a face. "I was 'nfortunate enough to walk in on them and they decided it would be funny to... how do you human's put it, 'gang rape' me. One Irken female is enough, but, five of them together was... terrifying. I thought they were gonna to kill me." He put an arm over his face before continuing. "My wife thought it was funny at first, but then I got this bad cut on my chest and she tried to pull them off of me, but, like I said, they were drunk and weren't having any of that and they got too rough and she..." Zim trailed off, shivering a little at the thought.

Dib stared up at him now. "Zim..? Are you okay...?" He asked as he watched Zim's reactions. "It's alright..." He strummed his fingers on Zim's waste, pulling his head to rest in an uncomfortable position on his chest now, legs standing straight and parted. "You're on Earth now.. it's all better.."

"No it's not." Zim said. "Earth is just as bad as Irk."

Dib stayed quiet, slowly sobering up with all of the seriousness. When he realized he could feel his own depression, he reached back for the bottle and took a long chug from it, and rested back on Zim's chest, holding the bottle against him as well. "No better..? Not a bit?"

"Maybe a little bit." Zim said, putting his arm down. "I don like being drunk Dib."

Dib rolled his head to dig his chin in Zim's chest and to look up at Zim with large sad eyes. "You don't..? I'm sorry Zim.. I wish.. I could help you some hows.." He rolled his head back on Zim's chest and rubbed his cheek up against it. "I don't want to be not drunk.."

"But being drunk is baaaaaad for you." Zim said, hugging Dib's head like that would make it all better.

"Hooow?" Dib pouted, rubbing his cheek harder against Zim. "I'm not being bad for me.."

"Yeah you aaare." Zim said, pouting cutely at Dib.

Dib grumbled up at the adorable Zim. "How?"

"Drinking alcohol in large amounts is bad for yoooooou." Zim whined, yet took another swig of the vodka.

Dib grabbed hold of Zim's wrist holding the bottle and directed it to his mouth as he took a swig as well. He shook the taste from his mouth and quickly went in and kissed Zim on his lips. "Why's that?"

"Mm," Zim hummed, licking his lips. "Because." He said. "It eats away at your oooooorgans. The driving teacher said so."

The human pouted. "Do you thinks that's happening to me? I feel alright.." He took the drink once more, gulping more of the vodka. It was almost empty. He noticed this and let out a light laugh.

"Yes, yes I do." Zim said before taking the bottle and gulping down the last of it.

Dib made little whiny noises, fingering the empty bottle gingerly, standing up only to sit on Zim's lap. "You draaank the rest of it!!" He whined some more, looking pitiful and sad.

Zim smirked pulled the empty bottle away from Dib saying, "Just trying to protect you, Dib-stink."

"You're mean!" Dib pouted, resting his hands on Zim's knees behind him. "You nevers wanted to do thats to me before! Protect me!" He retorted somewhat bitter.

"Yeah, well, you've never saved me before." Zim said before looking around and saying, "I want a knife."

Dib looked sadly at him. "And I want more to drink..." He rested his head on Zim's shoulder. "You are fucking addicted to it..."

"Am nooooot." Zim whined, looking over at the drawer he knew knives to be in. "But it makes me feel better."

Dib brought his head up and lazily hovered his lips across from Zim's. "No it doesn't.. Don't be stupid... why do you want to cut NOW of all time?" he grumbled, eyes half closed, sleepiness calling his body.

"Because, I miss her..." Zim said sadly, looking off to the side.

Dib's heart wrenched in his chest and he let his lips guide on Zim's neck now. "Don't think about her... She's not here... I'm here..." He said, almost feeling jealous about this female Irken of Zim's memories.

Zim squirmed a little and asked bitterly, "And what are you gonna do? Show me off to your dad? What does that do for me?"

"I... hadn't even thought of him in .. all day ... I want to be there for you.. for real.. for a little bit.. Really like..." He looked at him in concern. "Ziiim... I don't want to show you off... not right now.. not right now at all.. right now.. right now I want to keep you all to myself..." He dipped his forehead against Zim's.

"Why?" Zim asked, giving Dib a sad look.

"Because," Dib breathed a liquor scent. "Because," he tried again. "Because you are my obsession..." He laid soft kisses on Zim's jaw line. "And I don't want people..." he kissed him some more. "..who's undeserving.." he kissed him some more. "..to treat you wrongly..." he licked and pulled some skin into his mouth, "..when you're my Zim.. My obsession.."

Zim whined, not knowing whether he should push Dib away and feel bad for doing so, regardless of whether Dib was drunk or not, or just let Dib comfort him and feel bad when Dib sobered up and pushed him away. He decided for the second option, after all he had always been one for instant gratification.

Dib pulled his hands up to lightly trace his fingers under Zim's shirt, kissing further till he reached his throat. Luckily for Zim, however, he wouldn't have to deal with option one or two. Dib passed out, teeth around Zim's shoulder muscle, his body slouching some on the alien.

Zim rolled his eyes and pushed Dib up so he wasn't leaning on him, sighing. He studied the human's face for a bit before standing up, about to take him to his room before he tripped, the both of them landing on the hard, tiled floor as his pants were still around his knees. "How- how the hell did that happen?" He asked himself, kneeling to pull his pants back up.

Dib groaned in his sleep, churning a little in pain on the floor. He wiggled under Zim before throwing his arms to the side, rubbing legs with Zim's.

Zim groaned, his mind going from hazy to hazier. He picked Dib up and, slinging the human half over his shoulders and half dragging him, began the trek up stairs.

"Ziiiim..." Dib moaned groggily in his sleep, feeling the wall subconsciously with a hand. He chuckled lightly.

Zim Growled in annoyance and hulled Dib up a little higher so he could use one hand to open the door to the human's room.

Dib moaned and groaned, responding to every jiggly movement Zim sent him through as the alien passed up the door and stepped into his large technological room.

Zim hefted Dib up and laid him down on the bed, turning him over so he was face up.

"Ziiiim..." Dib moaned again, looking a little distressed now, turning his head from left to right in discomfort, his glasses making crinkling noises every time he did.

Zim took the glasses off of Dib and put them on the table beside the bed, waiting to see if that helped Dib any.

Dib stopped his tossing and turning, but his brows continued to knit and he continued to groan. "Ziiiim.."

Zim grumbled and looked at Dib in confusion. "What do you waaaaaant?" He asked in a whiney voice.

"Live with meee.." Dib whined back, obviously dreaming, not at all in realization that Zim was, in fact, living with him.

Zim took his glove off to feel Dib's temperature, though it didn't help much as his own temp was slightly spiked and he wasn't familiar with a human's biology.

Dib groaned, taking the warm clawed hand on his equally warm forehead, pulling it to the side of his head where he nuzzled it like a pillow. He grumbled further in his sleep, obviously trying to say something but not saying anything obvious to understand.

Zim whined and tried to pull his hand back, once again conscious of touch. What did Dib WANT from him!?

Dib let go of him and rolled to his other side, his moaning and groaning stop to let him be in a quiet, peaceful sad sleep.

Zim held his hand as if injured before looking back at Dib and, as if and after thought, brushed a bit of hair out of Dib's hair out of his face before quickly leaving and going into his own room.

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib: TSI

REVIEW PLEASE!


	13. Chapter 13

YAY! Chapter 13!

This chapter was a few hours late because I was having a few problems uploading this chapter.

A small note. This chapter was not beta'd and the last one was beta'd by my partner because I've been running a little behind with cleaning the chapters up and stuff.

How this works is the whole rp is all in one document, copied and pasted from one message. There are code stuffs all throughout the rp to for type coloring and stuff like that. So it takes a little while to clean and crop. So that's my excuse for typos and mistakes in this chapter.

* * *

That night went by quickly, but the morning came on harsh.

Dib sat up in his bed, groaning horribly while rubbing his eyes. His head was killing him! Every tad bit of light was the most irritating thing he had ever seen and needed to be killed. He cursed under his breath as he failed to recall what he did last night, but taking a good guess as to why he had such a headache.

He searched around the instable for his glasses, finding them and retreating them to his face. His ears buzzed. He needed water. Dib slowly pulled up, walking groggily to his door, exiting his room like Frankenstein.

Zim was already in the living room and was cleaning himself off with cleansing chalk and watching more black and white sitcoms.

Dib walked drowsily down the stairs. The TV was just so bright and irritating! He groaned and made his way for the kitchen where he pulled out a glass and filled it with water, drinking it all down in about seven seconds.

"You ok?" Zim asked sympathetically, having to already go through the headaches but in the middle of the night.

Dib grabbed his forehead and clenched his eyes shut, giving a pained nod. "...Use to this..." he shortly stated, refilling the glass with water and drinking it just as quickly as the glass before.

"You're going to get cramps if you keep doing that." Zim said, standing up and going into the kitchen to make toast.

"Hangover--" he poured more water. "--is a result of dehydration." He drank some more and set the cup in the sink. He leaned against the counter, trying to remember last night's events, but failed to remember anything past handing Zim vodka.

Zim rolled his eyes and said, "You need to pace yourself."

Dib put walked over to Zim. "So you're making toast..." He said, changing the subject conspicuously. "What do you like on it?"

"Butter and jellies." Zim said, getting the jelly out of the fridge.

Dib watched. "I did good then… making you toast with jelly on it yesterday…"

"Yeah, you did good." Zim said in an uninterested tone, taking the toast out of the toaster and putting butter and jelly on it before sitting down at the table and eating it.

"Has anybody told you your voice is annoying?" Dib suddenly brought up, opening the refrigerator, noticing there was nothing to make, and closing it just to go over to the table and sit with said annoying sounding alien.

Zim shot Dib a glare but stayed silent, taking a bite of toast.

"That doesn't mean stop talking, that means my ears are just bugging me is all." Dib gave him a weird look while resting his chin on his hands.

"You said my voice is annoying. That sounds like a 'stop talking' to me." Zim said, taking another bite of toast.

Dib gave him a light glare. "You don't have to do EVERYTHING I say, you know. You can argue and fight with me."

"I don't want to argue and fight with you anymore." Zim said, picking the toasted pieces of bread apart boredly. "I'm your prisoner, you've won, can we just move on, live the rest of our pathetic existences, and DIE now?"

"But I… Damnit." He cursed, glaring at the table. He drank all of the vodka the night before, didn't he? "Despite all of this, you still know exactly where to kick me to get me down."

"What, you WANT this whole thing to be one big huge hassle?" Zim asked, glaring at Dib. "Fine, I can make this a hassle." He stood up and pulled his disguise off, placing them gently on the table as he made his way to the front door.

"NO! WAIT! ZIM! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" He stood up and ran to the door.

Wasn't this, though, what he had wanted?

From the very beginning?

Zim to show himself for who he was and get dissected? Right… This was a good thing... then whey did it feel just so fucking bad, and why was Zim trying to use this as a negative thing? He knew it would be good for him, all aside from the marriage thing. Did he think that marriage was better for Dib than to show him as an alien? Obviously so. It had to be. That's how the deal went; marriage WAS more important than him being an alien, and still IS more important.

He growled and snatched up his wrist. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Causing problems!" Zim said, making an effort to take his wrist back. "Isn't that what you WANT? You said last night that you were 'addicted to problems', you WANT me to cause trouble, so trouble I shall cause if it'll get you to never drink and TOUCH me again!"

Dib froze up, letting go of Zim's wrist. "What? I said that..?" He looked at the other in confusion. "I don't… remember… ... I touched you?" He inhaled nervously.

"You were all over my THIGHS." Zim said, walking back into the living room and grabbing his chalk, running it over his now bare antennae.

Dib closed the door after a while, glad he came back in. "Your… _thighs_?" Dib repeated in disbelief. He remembered- that's where Zim's cuts were. "Please say I was just looking at them and not licking them or something stupid like that." He asked drully, not really knowing how he acts drunk because he always got so drunk he'd forget every time. He walked over to the couch, sitting on his side stiffly.

"I don't think you licked them." Zim said, the night before still a little bit fuzzy. "I think you just cuddled up to them at some point."

Zim gave Dib an odd look before asking, "So, you don't remember anything from last night?"

Dib shook his head; his face was a weird contrast of white and red. "Nothing…"

"Good." Zim said, blushing and making his way back over to his toast.

"Wha-why? I'm... kind of curious now.." Dib said, turning back to watch Zim from the couch. He didn't really want to know because he was afraid of what he had done, but the fact that Zim was acting funny about it and not using it to blackmail him, he wanted to know.

"Because," Zim said, sitting back down at the table. "I would rather forget the whole thing and you not remembering just makes that easier."

Dib watched him some more, sighing into the back of the couch. "Was it really that bad, that shameful..? If it was by me then I _guess _I'm sorry.." He groped, now turning his head to the side to rest.

Zim gave a grunt at Dib's apology, looking at the clock on the stove for a bit before spitting some bread crumbs and saying, "SHIT!"

"What?" Dib poked his head back up for Zim.

"In two hours that creepy...whatever her name is, is coming to take me dress shopping!" Zim nearly shrieked.

Dib cringed at the thought of her coming by again to say 'meep' one more time. "You know, it's sad because you're my enemy and everything... but I actually pity you now."

"Shut up and try to look like you WEREN'T drunk last night, Dib-stink!" Zim yelled as he ran up that stairs to get dressed.

Dib paused for a bit. Zim seemed very... what's the word again? Pissed. Yes, that's it. Zim looked very pissed.

He sighed, got up, and calmly gathered cloths and took a shower.

Zim put on some lose clothing this time, something easy to get in and out of as he knew he'd be changing cloths allot.

Gir made him watch a lot of soap operas, ok?

His outfit today consisted of a pink, slightly loose t-shirt, black, boot cut jeans, and a jacket, to cover up his arms. His hands, much to his dismay, would have to remain ungloved or else the outfit would never blow over as 'normal'.

Dib cursed as he tried to put on his pants. He had to take off his bandages in the shower, and therefore, open the wound. After his pants were successfully on, he one-handedly wrapped fresh bandages around his shoulder until he was satisfied with his crappy job and just put on a loose dark blue t-shirt before exiting the bathroom.

Zim pulled on the sleeves nervously until they were off his shoulders so his hands were covered completely except the very tips of his fingers.

"Can you hand me my wig and eye lenses I left on the table?" He asked from his position on the couch.

"Fine." Dib agreed, stepping down the stairs and to the kitchen where he picked up the wig and contacts. He looked at one of the lenses and held it curiously up to his face, trying to see through it. "Weird." He remarked as he made his way back to Zim, handing him the vital two pieces for his disguise.

Zim put the lenses in first, rubbing his eyes before putting the wig on and adjusting it accordingly.

"How much longer until the torture begins?" He asked, looking at the front door.

"An hour.." Dib made his way to his spot on the couch and sat. "Unless she gets hit by a bus or something on the way here. Here's hoping for the bus."

"PLEASE let there be a bus!" Zim prayed to fortune. "PLEASE!"

Dib grinned up over at Zim.

"What?" Zim asked when he caught Dib's look.

Dib smiled, facing back at the TV. "You seemed.. 'cool' there for a second."

Zim blinked curiously at Dib for a moment before saying, a little unsurely, "Thank you?"

Dib grinned again, not really paying attention to what was on the TV. "So what happened last night?" He brought up again, trying his chances.

Zim slapped his forehead in a show of annoyance and to further dig the point in he slid his hand down his face until it was just over where a human's nose would be and asked, "Do you HAVE to know?"

"No, but by nature I'm curious." He turned his grin back at Zim.

Zim sighed and shook his head before saying, "You were positively the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. Besides that nothing much happened though I must say I feel a little bit... better, I guess, since last night."

Dib gave him a confused look. "Me? Make you… feel better?" That didn't set in so well with the human. "Are you lying?"

Zim leaned back and shook his head, saying, "You're a good listener when you're drunk."

Dib ran his hand through his hair oddly, avoiding the untamable scythe lock, which would always mock him anyway by bouncing back up in place. "I see. Hey.. Zim?" Dib looked down on the cushion. "Thanks for.. giving up Earth.. I think."

"Don't mention it, Dib-stink." Zim said, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. "Ever again."

Dib looked back up at Zim. He was acting funny... not quite like he expected him to act. Just what went on last night that he didn't remember?

He shrugged it off though and looked around. "Hey, uh, have you seen the remote? The TV's been stuck on this channel and the remotes been missing for a day or two it seems.."

Zim looked thoughtful for a moment like he was trying to figure out a math problem he hadn't had to do for years before realization hit him. "Oh yeah." He said, reaching under the couch cushion and grabbing the remote, holding it out for Dib. "Sorry, I hid it there that day we watched the tentacle movie."

"You -hid- it from me?" Dib stared at him before a few chuckles escape him. "Right..." He took the remote and browsed through the channels.

It was just his luck that on the Spook Channel Mysterious Mysteries were on and in this episode they happened to be interviewing Dib himself in front of a lagoon.

Dib glared, quickly passing by that channel to land on some cartoons.

"Yeah, I didn't want you to change it. Human blood makes me happy." Zim said, catching sight of the small, almost completely healed burns on his fingers, adding, "Well, touching it doesn't. But seeing it squirt on a window or something does."

Dib grinned at the thought and then scoffed. "Of course it would make 'you' happy." Dib rolled his eyes. "But what if it was Irken blood? Then would it? It makes -me- happy."

Zim looked at Dib like he was crazy before turning his attention back to cartoons. "That's sick."

"M'mm... to you, maybe it is... But to me, the though of victory juices leaking out of your flesh… that makes me happy." Dib smirked dangerously at Zim.

"Yet you won't let me cut?" Zim asked as if the very thought made no sense at all.

"That's different..." Dib scowled back at the TV. "That's defeatist... I'd much rather see blood out of a fight than blood out of 'releasing' one's self."

"Then fight me." Zim said simply, giving Dib the deathliest serious look he could. "If I ask you for a knife from now on I want you to punch me... or something."

Dib stared at him for a bit. With little hesitation, he nodded. "Okay. I'll do that for you..." He knew it would be just about the same as Zim hurting himself if he'd hurt him for him whenever Zim was depressed... but the idea just felt a lot better.

Zim seemed satisfied with this and went back to watching the poorly animated cartoon on the television, glancing at the clock every once and a while, wishing it would either hurry up or stop.

Dib watched the TV, and after a while his eyes widened. "I... I feel a disgusting feeling aura approaching us, Zim..!" He turned to look at the door. "She's… She's here!"

'Knock knock knock.'

Zim jumped at the knock and looked at Dib with a slightly scared look before moving over to answer the door.

"Hello?" He said as he pulled the door open.

"OH MY GOSH, Hiiiii!" Shelby smiled brightly taking Zim by his clothed wrist and pulling him away from the house. "You look SO CUTE by the way, meep! Zimma, we're going to have sooooooo much fuuuun, you can't even like, believe it... Bye, Dibby!" She waved at Dib from outside as she continued pulling Zim towards her car.

"W-wait, I don't have any money on me." Zim said and though it was true he was just trying to get Shelby to slow down.

Shelby stopped and turned to Zim. "But you knew I was coming… You should have gotten it!" She pouted. "Fine then! Go and get, like, your moneys or something, meep."

Zim nodded and ran inside, holding out his hand and saying, "Dib, monies, now."

Dib looked deadpanned for a moment but sighed, pulling out his credit card and telling Zim his pin number.

"Don't you fucking lose it or I'll rip your head off of your body, chop it up in little pieces so small that they'll have to invent better microscopes good enough to see it with."

Zim nodded and was about to put the card into his pak before quickly remembering he'd blow up if he tried to do that and, glaring at Dib, slipped the card into his pocket before turning and walking back outside to stand at the passenger side of Shelby's car.

Shelby grinned happily as Zim came in the car. "Okay…" She started the car and began driving off. "Price-wise… what are we looking at?"

"I don't know. I don't want anything TOO extravagant but I don't think there's really a limit on price." Zim said, pulling his hands more into his jacket.

"If you have no limit on the price, then why not?" Shelby grinned ear to ear. "This is, like, your WEDDING... You're aloud to be as selfish as you want! Pretty yourself up, meep! This is your special day!" She drove faster.

"I-I don't know..." Zim sighed, thinking, _'It's not like it means anything anyway.'_

But then, why not? He did, after all, promise to milk this marriage deal dry!

"All right." Zim said, giving Shelby a smile.

"Great!" Shelby gave her best smile back as they went on driving.

It was about a twenty minute drive and most of it included the radio playing pop music and Shelby singing wildly and loudly to every song no matter how often they came back on.

She turned the radio off, however, when they neared the Wedding Supplies store.

Zim shifted a little uncomfortably, watching the store get closer.

Shelby parked the car, noting Zim's nervousness. "Hey, Zimma, meep, it's like… all going to be fine. Don't like, worry, okay?" She reassured him as she stepped out of her car.

Zim took a deep breath and, releasing it, got out of the car and followed Shelby in, looking around at all the white.

Shelby grinned at all of the gowns and flowers and candle holders.

"Okay Zimma! Like, you have like, this whoooole store. Like, go wild, okay?" She looked around, something catching her eye. "Meep! This dress is SOOO CUUUTE!" She girlishly ran to the gown, picking up the bottom of it and fluffing it out a little.

Zim ignored Shelby and poked around the store a bit, scowling at some of the more elaborate gowns with beads and sparkles. He looked for about ten minutes before coming across a gown he actually liked. Not just one he could tolerate one he LIKED. It was mostly plain though the skirt had sheen to it. There was a rose in the center of the chest which had a double arch which made Zim frown (this dress was obviously made for some one with more baggage upstairs). It was sleeveless but, Zim figured, he could tolerate that part if he got some long gloves to go with it. There was a line of roses in the back of the dress which attached to the train which was sparkly and sheer.

Shelby looked around. "Zimma? Zimma? Where'd you go?" She spotted the memorized alien. "Meep! Found you!" She grinned, pulling up behind him. "This one's pretty..! Only problem is the boobs…" She looked down at Zimma. "Poor thing… you're flat chested…" She giggled. "But your Dib probably likes you that way, huh? How sweet..."

Zim looked down at his chest and pouted. He WANTED that dress damn it!

"Can't we get it fitted?" He asked, head tilting to the side. He new that would involve people touching him, but at the moment he didn't care! It was the only one in the store that didn't look like it came out of a random number generator and he was going to have it!

"I… suppose we could…" She mumbled, looking around and finally finding a worker. "Hey! Hey you!" she slowed the worker down. "Can my friend Zimma over here get this dress fitted to work with her minus-a-chest?" She asked.

"As the chairman of the Iddy-bitty-Tiddy-Committee, yes!" The curly-haired blond responded, walking over to the dress and Zim. "Let's take you and it over to the dressing room…"

"O...Ok," Zim said, taking the dress and hesitantly moving over to the dressing room. "And... and I don't suppose you have gloves that would fit me... would you?" He wiggled his three fingers at the woman, making sure to show off the ring he was wearing. The thing seemed to give him confidence at the moment.

"You poor dear! Did you get them chopped off?" The work lady asked, paying more mind to the ring than if Zim had scars on his hands from where his other fingers must have been. "We can special order them for you if you want."

Shelby came up behind and squeed. "OH MY GOSH! Your Dibby loves you so much! LOOK AT THAT! Meep!!" She seemed excited about the ring as though Zim was the most important person in the store. "Yes, yes, pre… whatever the gloves, whatever."

The worker pulled out measuring tape from her pocket. "Arms up!"

"Um, ok." Zim said, lifting his arms up like he was told.

The worker wrapped the tape around the Zim's uppertorso, stopping her fingers in the center of Zim's chest. "22. Dang, girl, you're small!" She remarked, moving the tape higher to below Zim's arms. "21. I can send this dress in to be refitted to your measurements." She took a look at his hands, curious as to how she'd go about doing this.

"Yes, I'm small, smaller than small." Zim said with a roll of his eyes.

"You can set your arms down now, Hun." The worker hummed. "But I'd like to measure your hands now." She gave his hands an odd look like they were some foreign caterpillar.

Zim let his arms fall back to his sides and whined a little, looking at his hands a moment before cringing and pulling his sleeves up, holding his hands out to the woman.

The lady took his hand and carefully measured its width, then the height of the fingers and length. After all of the numbers, she thanked Zim walking off.

"Hey, like, uh, Miss Lady Small Boobs Ma'am?" Shelby turned to her as she was leaving.

"Uh- yes?"

"When will you have this dress in? Their wedding is in, like, a week!"

"I'll be done in two days for you two ladies to pick up." She coo'd.

"Awesome!" Shelby turned to Zim. "How does that sound, meep?"

Zim shook his head to knock himself out of the trance he'd put himself in so he wouldn't feel the touching and turned to Shelby, putting a smile on his face and saying, "that's fine. Do we pay up front?"

The lady back peddled. "If you want… meanwhile, do you want to try on your dress or find some lovely shoes that'll fit?"

"Both sound fine." Zim said before thinking. Well, he WOULD have to try the dress on eventually. Best to get a feel for it now rather than later. "No big heals though."

Shelby squealed and pulled up to Zim. "Go!! Go go go! Go now! Go in the dressing room and try your dress on!! And, like, I'll totally get you some cute shoes to have you try on and like… like... like, what size do you wear?!" She grinned at him, getting all excited to get to see a 'girl' in her future wedding dress.

"Um, I think my boots are an eight, so, somewhere around there." Zim said, retreating into the safety of the dressing room.

Dear IRK were all women like this!? It was a wonder DIB wasn't gay.

Shelby grinned, taking off to the direction of the shoes, pulling together a variety of size eights.

Zim carefully slipped in to the dress, amazed that not only was it the only pretty dress in the store but that the back also slanted down his back so he wouldn't have to make holes in it for his pak.

Shelby returned. "I've got SHOOOOOEES!! Meep…" She slid eight pairs of size eight shoes under the dressing room door for Zim. "Hey, show me when, like, you've got the correct shoes for the dress."

"Alright," Zim said, going through the shoes, wondering why it mattered. I mean, the dress was so long that it's not like you could see the shoes anyway. Finally he found a pair of plain white slippers and, slipping them on, came out of the dressing room.

Shelby gasped so hard, she fell back on her rear to stare at Zim, wide mouthed. "Zimma... Zimma.. you.. are so... so..." She had to swallow "..you're so lovely!! Like, remarkably, too, meep..." Shelby went through the list in her head of all of the weddings she had planned- not once ever finding anybody as beautiful in their wedding dress as Zim was in his. "The boobs.. well get better once it gets fixed but... Wow.. Dibby.. is.. Sooo, sooo sooo like, lucky... You're beautiful.."

Zim blushed and looked off to the side, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable yet flattered.

"Really?" He asked, fidgeting with his fingers nervously.

"Like, totally..." She slowly stood up. "Zimma..? If it wasn't for that.. like.. skin condition I guess it is... you could soooo be a model.." She walked closer, checking him out.

"Th-thank you." Zim said, smiling a little now.

She noted Zim's body structure and smiled. "Any under garments you want to look special after the wedding as well?" She giggled.

Zim blinked confusedly at Shelby for a moment, a blush spreading across his face as he realized what she meant.

"Wha-!? Um, n-no, not today." He said, rubbing one of his arms nervously.

She grinned. "Oh, like, why not?! It'll be sexy, meep!"

Zim made a little whiney noise and thought for a moment. Shelby probably wasn't going to leave him alone until he went with her to buy sexy underwear. Besides, if just TELLING Dib that he wasn't wearing any underwear made the human flinch and blush then he would most certainly get an even better reaction by walking into Dib's room with a seductive sway to his hips wearing something revealing and sexy.

"Al-alright. Let's get some sexy underwear." He said, moving back into the dressing room to change.

Shelby squealed. "Great then! Take off the dress and shoes and like.. come with me and we'll go look at the lingerie together, Zimma!" She seemed ecstatic.

"Alright!" Zim called, obsessive compulsively putting everything in the dressing room right back where it was and hanging up the dress neatly before dressing himself, pulling on all his cloths and carrying the shoes out, asking, "Should we go ahead and pay for everything now?"

"Yeah, but that lady up there is probably going to take your dress away from you so she could ship it in to get fixed.." She mumbled, walking out of the dressing room now and towards the registers. "Wait until Dib sees you in that! Though, with how hot you are, he's probably going to curse your marriage with bad luck by forcing you to show him before the wedding!" She snickered.

"With his line of work the marriage is already cursed." Zim said, putting the shoes on the counter so the woman there could ring them up and waiting for the price to show up so he could pay.

"M'mmm? What do you mean?" Shelby coo'd, hoping for some girl talk as Zim swiped the card in.

Zim entered the pin number and stuck the card back in his pocket before saying, "He's a paranormal investigator, you know, ghosts, demons... aliens."

She stared at him dully. "And you go for that stuffs? Meep, I try to keep away from that sorta superstition the best I can. I heard like, a lot of them were being like, found true and everything.. but I still think its all fake.." She grumbled. "By chance, is Dibby insane?"

"What?" Zim asked, looking at Shelby with surprise. "No he's not, in fact he's the one finding all of these myths true. Like that lake monster."

"You're fiancé is THAT idio-- ... " She coughed in her hand. "Let's.. uh.. Go to the undergarments now..." She turned towards a larger section of the store.

Zim grunted in annoyance but followed Shelby, hoping she wouldn't say anything more about HIS enemy.

She continued walking until she made her way to the frilly red underwear and black corsets. "So how's the sex?"

Zim cringed and said nervously, "It-it's- we aren't having any yet."

"Waiting till after the wedding?" Shelby grinned. "You are such the traditionalist!" He then chuckled, holding a fluffy bra in hand before holding it up to her own chest and peering down at it.

\"Who me? No, I'm not really." Zim said, looking around at all the lacey bras and underwear.

"Sure you are!" She felt the feathers on it before putting it back up. "Like.. what type of underwear do you like?" She grinned back at Zim.

"None, normally. But when I do wear it it's always very simple." Zim said picking up a dark pink bra.

Shelby ewed. "No, that's not very traditional, you're right.." She coughed nervously in her hand again. "SO! You have all of these to choose from-- Go wild." She grinned, picking up a few for herself.

"Um... I don't really know what Dib likes." Zim said before he even realized he said it. He quickly turned to Shelby and showed her the dark pink bra and the underwear and everything else that went with it, asking, "What do you think?"

"Hot!! I didn't know that they'd, like, have bras in your minus-a-cup size!, meep!" Shelby grinned like an idiot. "You wanna try the bra part of it on?" And bounced over to him, looking at lacy thongs now.

"S-sure..." Zim said and was about to walk over to the dressing room but stopped and turned back to Shelby, asking, "Are you, um, are you married?"

She grinned up at him, wiggling her ringless fingers in show. "Nope!"

"Then... why are you getting sexy underwear? What purpose is it to you?" Zim asked, tilting his head. Humans were so confusing.

"M'mmmm," Shelby hummed, holding the bras and thongs to herself. "I have boyfriends! Lots of boyfriends... That's why I call you a traditionalist. You haven't even had sex with your fiancé, and I bet you're so sweet, you don't even cheat on him." She giggled. "I, however, love sex too much to let it go, meep."

"No, I don't cheat on him." Zim said in a superior tone. "There is no one worthy enough of Zim..ma's attention. No one so equal in brilliance other than Dib." With that he nodded as if agreeing with himself and turned, disappearing into a changing room.

Shelby stared as he left her view. "Kind of sweet.. though, kind of freaky.. Paranormal investigator.." She shuddered.

Zim hummed thoughtfully as he changed into the bra and everything else. He turned the way and that, trying to get a good look at every angle. It was so WEIRD to see himself like this. He did have to admit though, he looked dead sexy like that. The thought made him blush and he put his hands on his waist... was he REALLY THAT girly!?

He gave himself another once over, the thought leaving his mind and he said to himself, "I need stockings to go with this. Maybe fishnets?"

"Hey, Zim, meep? So what's the man behind the TV screen like at home?" Shelby asked from outside the dressing room. She seemed to be obsessed with the thought of that creepy cute investigator guy with lots of money.

"An ass," Zim said simply, giving himself one more once over before changing back into his cloths.

Shelby walked into the dressing room, looking direly confused. "But you're marrying him.."

"Yeah, and I'm marrying an ass." Zim said, pulling his sweater back on. "He's always been an ass, nothing about him has changed since the fifth grade except now his rantings on the paranormal are televised, he has more money and resources and he no longer want's to expose me as an alien."

"Expose you as a WHAT?" Shelby took a step back. "Oh my gosh! Like.. you just like said that he WASN'T insane..."

"He ISN'T." Zim said, pouting a little. "He just teased me as a child." Zim took up the sexy undergarments he was going to get and said, "I should get another pair... and stockings."

Shelby blinked. "Another? Alrighty then.. Go get yourself another. I think the stockings and stuff is like, near by but I'm not too sure? You see, I haven't been here in a while, meep." She walked out, holding her own choice of sexy clothing.

Zim was quick in finding another sexy outfit and stockings of which he got two pairs before finding Shelby again and asking, "Are we ready to go?"

"Yes." She said, far ready to just leave the dull Zimma and her issues of superstitious ass fiancé.

She turned her heal back to the registry, holding her stuff in hand.

Zim got in line behind Shelby, eyeing all of the STUFF she was buying and thought of all the boyfriends she must have. How could some one stand multiple lovers all at one time. All the secrets, all of the different touches and germs, it was disgusting.

Shelby grinned cattishly as she stood at the registry, getting her -things- rung up, and then writing a check for it all. Her clothes got put in a bag and she turned back around to smile at Zim, back stepping.

Zim smiled back and blushed when he caught the man that was ringing him up examining him and his 'minus a cup size' chest.

As soon as Zim picked up the bag of his naughty-wear, Shelby snatched onto her sleeve and directed him back to her car where she began driving back the twenty minute car-ride once more.

Once 'home' Zim quickly got out of the car and waved good-bye to Shelby before quickly going back into the house, clutching his bag of sexy cloths to his chest a yelling, "DIB! I need to be punched and before you ask, NO, this has NOTHING to do with cutting!"

Dib stood up and awkwardly walked over towards Zim. "Why?" He popped a brow up curiously, wondering if there were cameras near by filming him beating his fiancé. It seemed urgent however, so he retreated an arm before connecting his fist with Zim's stomach.

* * *

Zim:Me

Dib/Shelby: TSI


	14. Chapter 14

Wo! Chapter 14. And may I say this one is one of my faves.

No beta this time. Which is, once more, my fault. I didn't get it to her in time for her to get it back to us. But I have WORD now so things will be much better because word is all preeeeeetty and thorough! I love Word -hugs Word-.

Ahem. Anyway. On with the fic.

* * *

Zim flinched back, having expected and been prepared for a punch to the face and his head connected with the door. "Ha... SHIT!" He yelled, one arm going to each injured area, unsure of which he should be holding.

Dib kneeled to the floor. "Will you tell me why you wanted me to do that?" He asked, only slightly concerned, but a bit interested.

Zim took his wig off and threw it to some random corner of the room, saying, "I was losing myself to that... urgh, SHELBY monster. She makes my skin crawl and does something to my brain that disturbs me. And I swear to all of IRK that if one more person mentions my 'lack of a chest' I'm going rip their's off."

Dib blinked, stared, and fell back on his butt. "So the demonic girls got to you?" Dib scratched the back of his hair. "I'm sorry it went so rough for you... I think... if I had to spend a day with a 'meeping' back-handed complimenting female, I'd want to get punched to..." He paused and thought, staring at Zim and his 'lack of a chest'.

Zim noticed Dib's staring and growled irritably, saying, "Take a picture, Dib, or move on, I've had enough of being raped with people's eyes today, thank you."

Dib brought his eyes back up at Zim's. "No. Not at all. I was just wondering why people really care." He made a humming noise. "I don't really care. Boobs are kind of over rated... And I kind of like that you don't have any. Don't need to feel bad about it; you're a guy after all." Dib shrugged his shoulders, leaning back on his arms, eyes closed to compare chests of guys to girls.

"I don't 'feel bad' about not having boobs, Dib-stink. I'm just annoyed that people keep bringing it up now can we drop it so I can go wash to filth of public dressing rooms and... SKIN off of my person?" Zim asked, standing up and rubbing his arms as the thought of all the germs that must be on him sent a chill down his spin.

"Sure you can. I'm not stopping you." Dib replied, slowly pulling up to peek in the baggy. "Whatchyu get anyway?"

"Nuh-uh," Zim said, snatching the bag up. "I'll show you later." With that he grabbed the piece of cleansing chalk he had left on the table in the living room and ran up stairs to get clean in the privacy of his own room.

Dib blinked up stairs and groaned. Zim didn't even notice his new glasses he got while he was gone! He sighed, falling back onto the carpet to stare at the ceiling fan. Not like it mattered anyway... ..._Wait, what did he say was going to show me?_

Once he closed and locked the door to his room he stripped out of his cloths, throwing the germ covered things into a corner and running the chalk all over himself, not stopping until the whole bar was gone, causing his skin to tingle with the over exposure to the chemicals that made up the chalk. But he didn't care. At least he was clean.

When he was done he put on the second pair of under wear he'd gotten, along with the matching bra. Deciding that they fit well enough he then put on an outfit that consisted of a pink and black striped shirt that cut off at the elbows and a black corset like thing, black mini skirt, pink and black stripped stockings, the second pair of boots him and Dib had gotten that first day that only came up to about mid calf but were tall in the souls, and, of course, his gloves.

When he was done getting dressed he went back downstairs to see what Dib was up to.

Dib was rummaging through the refrigerator. Zim had been gone for a while and he had promised himself he wouldn't eat till he was back, which caused his stomach much displeasure. He traced his hands over the innards of the replenished refrigerator, skimming over liquor until his hands found soda. He grabbed it and went further on down until he snatched up the making for a ham and cheese sandwich.

Zim quickly snatched up his wig and put it back on before coming up behind Dib and tapping him on the shoulder lightly.

Dib turned around curiously to see Zim. "Yes?"

He had to push himself closer to the cold of the refrigerator. "Zim..? What are you... wearing..?" His face tinged slightly.

"It's called 'cloths' Dib." Zim said mockingly. "Unless of course you wanted me naked, in that case they're called 'in the way'." He smirked teasingly before moving to sit down at the kitchen table.

Dib gave him a small glare before relieving his face to turn back to the refrigerator. "Is that what happens when somebody like that Meep Demon hangs out with you? She picks out your clothes?" He recalled back to such cute emo clothes compared to now- clothes that not only complimented his girly figure but enforced it as well. Dib shut the refrigerator and began making his sandwich.

"Hardly," Zim said with a bored tone, examining the ring on his finger a little. "That 'Meep Demon' as you so appropriately call her is a disgusting creature. I would never let her pick out what I wear."

"Good..." Dib answered before taking his sandwich and soda over at the table to sit near Zim. "..Because just that thought is scary... So... why the new clothes?" He asked looking over the corset and stockings.

Zim shrugged. "They were there; I thought I'd try them on." He said, grabbing Dib's soda and taking a sip of it before putting it back where it was.

Dib eyed his drink, suddenly wondering if it was poisoned. He sighed, got up to abandon his food to get another soda.

Zim tilted his head to watch Dib, asking, "What's up, Dib stink?"

After grabbing the soda, he walked up behind Zim and dropped the soda in his lap. "Your own, My Lady." He responded, taking his seat once more so he could sip and eat.

Zim pouted at Dib, opening his soda and, after taking a sip, said, "You didn't seem to have a problem with sharing last night."

Dib vaguely remembered handing Zim vodka that he had sipped from even afterwards. "Yeah, well... I was also drunk. I'm a lot less bothered by that sort of thing when I'm out of it."

"Aw, that hurts my feelings." Zim said, putting a hand to his chest and pouting dramatically.

"I did remember a few things while you were gone today..." Dib started before taking a bit of the hammy-goodness.

Zim's pout fell into an emotionless mask. "L-like what??" HE asked, cutting his eyes to the wall next to Dib's head.

"Nothing important." Dib replied, not wanting himself to get into the conversation about this, whether it was the story Zim had told him he remembered, or the kissing. He just didn't feel like answering.

He cleared his throat and took another sip, also keeping his eyes away from Zim's.

"Like what?" Zim pressed, turning his attention back to Dib, glaring a little.

Dib shrugged, chewing, swallowing, taking another sip...

"It's only a little anyway... That I remember that is."

"Fine," Zim groaned, taking a gulp of soda.

Dib gave a smirk at his own victory as he took a sip of his soda as well. "Why? What did you think I remembered?" He hoped to get more info out of the alien.

"N-nothing," Zim stuttered, playing with the tab on his soda can.

Dib raised a brow. "So what WERE you thinking I knew? I'm more curious now."

"I said nothing," Zim said, blushing a little and rubbing his neck in memory.

"Ah, so it was what I was thinking it was." Dib started chewing his sandwich again until it was all gone.

"Wha-what?" Zim asked. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dib stood up, grabbing hold of his drink. "Okay. You don't then. You want another sip?" He grinned, holding his soda out towards Zim.

Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib suspiciously, then, without warning, he stood up and took Dib's drink, taking a sip and then walking off with it completely.

Dib stared at him, taken aback by his response. It left him there with Zim's drink on the table. He stared at it, almost as though he was challenging it, and, finally letting it win over in his mind, he took it and sipped, trailing behind Zim.

Zim plopped himself down on the couch, his legs crossed as he thought silently to himself. What was Dib playing at, why wouldn't he just tell Zim what he remembered?

Dib sat next to him in his usual spot. The "I've got a secret" look planted on his face. "If you tell me, I'll tell you..."

Zim looked thoughtfully at Dib, his face displaying his reluctance to say anything.

He sighed, and looked away, saying, "I told you something last night, something I would NOT have ever told you had I been in my right mind."

"And what was that...?" Dib asked slowly and quietly, almost like a whisper.

"Like, I'm going to tell you now?" Zim said, glaring at Dib. "If you don't remember that's your fault."

Dib looked surprised for a moment. "What?"

Zim smirked further and said, "You forgot my tragic story of heart ache and trauma. You can't be THAT good of a listener when wasted."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Yeah, don't expect me to remember anything when I'm drunk." He caught onto what he just said, and slapped his head at the blackmail that could become of it like the first week of college.

"I'll have to keep that in mind." Zim teased. "So do you remember anything else from last night?"

"I remember sitting on your lap ...which I apologies for, I was out of my normal state of being... and I remember snuggling up to your leg." Dib explained. "And- uh, yeah, I'm sorry for that, too."

"You're doing an awful lot of apologizing and not a lot of making it better aren't you?" Zim pointed out, pretending to examine his nails.

"Well, what am I suppose to do?" Dib asked, almost hissing. He himself felt like a train wreck at the moment.

"Well you can start by ridding yourself of temptation." Zim said, motioning with a thumb towards the kitchen.

Dib looked worriedly from the kitchen back to Zim. "You mean-- Get rid of... all of my bottles?" He seemed a little bit frightened by the very idea.

"It would make me feel better." Zim said, putting on a cute pout.

Dib looked back from kitchen to Zim, kitchen to Zim, kitchen to Zim. The drinks were the only things he could retreat back to whenever things got rough... Zim, however, was correct in that they probably weren't helping anything and were just making things worse. He did, after all, tell Zim that he wouldn't drink if he didn't cut... He sighed, standing up. "If I do it... you have to come with me..." Dib told him, unsure of what he'd do if he wasn't being watched with a careful eye.

He then got up and headed for the kitchen.

Zim nodded and followed along after Dib, stopping to pull a loose bra strap up before continuing on after the human.

Dib stood in front of the refrigerator and opened it. Cold air breezed on him as he looked at several different types of alcohol in there. He began to whimper.

"But... I don't wanna..." He whined, absolutely scared of what would become of him if he went through with this; this being the hardest step.

"You do it and I'll show you what was in the bag." Zim said, leaning against the counter and smirking.

Dib slowly looked over Zim, made another whining noise, and looked back towards the fridge. He held his breath and leaned forward, grabbing two of the many bottles in there. He slowly walked to the sink and popped them open. Their smell ignited from the mouths of the bottles, and Dib gripped their necks tighter as he did his eyes, holding them over the sink but not exactly tipping them over yet.

Zim gave Dib a very unimpressed look and said, "Hurry up Dib or you'll never be able to do it."

The tall paranormal investigator held his breath and continued to clench his eyes as he tipped the bottle, listening to their attractive fluids splatter the sink and trickle down the drain.

Zim nodded as if proud of Dib, which he was, alcohol was such an easy thing to get addicted to.

Dib hung his head as the bottles clanked at the bottom of the sink. Those were just two. He had a whole refrigerator full of them left.

He sighed and went back to the refrigerator, grabbing two more.

"Zim? Are you sure?" He asked, about to pop them open.

Zim narrowed his eyes and, pointing to his face, asked, "Does this look like the face of an unsure person?"

More bottles emptied over that sink, more and more, and, although, with more of them gone, the better Dib felt, he couldn't help the nagging disparity trying to override his conscience.

Finally, the last bottle. He held it, staring at its liquid through the glass. "Z-z-Zim!! Would... Would you like this one? I'll let you have all of it..." It felt like such a waste; at least if Zim got drunk, he could take the rest of the bottle and hope to get a little tipsy from that. It'll be the last tipsiness he'd get for a long while, he was sure.

Zim looked suspiciously at the bottle for a moment before sighing and taking it, saying, "I guess we could share this, I mean, it's the last bottle so..."

Dib smiled instantly, about to bring his arms to hug Zim, but thought better of it. "O-okay then! Thanks..." He popped the beverage open and handed it over to Zim. "You first." He smiled, gratefully.

Zim smirked and, after taking a drink, asked, "Wanna see who can stay sober longest?"

It was a big bottle; Dib was sure they could both get drunk maybe off of it. "Sure, why not." He took the bottle from Zim nervously before taking his own gulp.

Zim smirked, just KNOWING he'd be able to outlast Dib. "Living room?" He asked, taking the bottle back from Dib.

Dib nodded in agreement and led Zim to the couch with him where he plopped down, cattishly staring at the bottle.

Zim sat down on the couch, taking another drink and crossing his legs before handing the bottle out for Dib to take.

Dib took the bottle and took a drink before handing it right back at Zim, now sitting in his same position to make this little competition look a little more symmetrical.

Zim took another drink, asking, "When was the first time you got drunk?"

"First time was back in fifth grade... but I didn't really drink after that again until I began going to high school. Then it became a habit by the time I had my own place." Dib answered, raising the bottle to his mouth and taking two rather big swallows.

"Geeze, how did I not notice that?" Zim asked, shaking his head and taking another drink.

Dib snickered deviously. "You got abducted by some fat Irken then... And, it's not like I drink all the time. Only when I'm safe at home and something happens or... something." Dib took the bottle from Zim, taking a swish again. He had actually got in the habit to drink late at night and early in the morning every other day when he felt like crap. "You just never notice it because you've been ignoring me since I came back from college it seems. It's like; I was doing the chasing more than you were."

"Yeah, well, I was depressed, leave me alone." Zim said, taking another drink and saying, pointing a claw at Dib threateningly, "And if you EVER mention Sizz-lorr again I'll gouge your eyes out and, um, I don't know, use them as hood ornaments or something."

Dib blinked at him, unimpressed by his threat. He took the bottle back and swallowed down a bit more- ah yes, the wonderful horrible toxically bad taste of alcohol!

"You know, Zim... I'm kind of flattered you'd get depressed over me." He sighed, grinningly as he rested his head in a hand and his elbow on his knee.

"Yeah, well you SHOULD be." Zim said, poking Dib in the shoulder and taking the bottle from Dib to take in a large gulp. "Zim does not cut his thighs for just ANY body you know?"

"You know, now it kind of sounds insulting again." Dib remarked, stealing his bottle back to take an equally large gulp. "S'not like I want you too."

"I know," Zim said, leaning on Dib's shoulder and, not taking the bottle from Dib completely, directed it to his mouth and tipped it so he could take a drink before leaning back again.

Dib watched him. He looked back to the mouth of the bottle. "Zim..." He didn't take his turn at the sip.

"Yeah?" Zim asked, looking a little tired.

"I neglected to say it befores," he began, pointing to Zim's chest. "But you look really cool today... Smexy even."

"You think I'm smexy NOW?" Zim asked, giving Dib a smirk. "Just wait until I'm more drunk."

"What?" Dib deadpanned. "You mean you... wait... what? That doesn't even make since, I think..." He leaned now towards the arm rest.

Zim smirked and leaned closer to Dib to grab the bottle and take another drink, saying, "Of course it does. I am ZIM!"

Dib leaned back even more, keeping an even pace away from Zim. He suddenly forgot the bottle. "I don't get how it's suppose to work though... isn't it that I'm suppose to get drunk to think you're sexier or.. Wait... what? I'm... I think I'm getting some effects on me..."

"Nope," Zim said cryptically, enjoying how confused Dib was.

Dib eyed him, and quickly grabbed back his bottle, taking a big chug from it before giving out a better release sound, and stared back up at Zim, eyes glassy.

"You can have the rest." Zim said, leaning back seductively.

Dib kept his eyes on Zim as he tipped the rest of the bottle in his mouth, a little nervous about Zim's sudden weirdness. He shook his face, getting the weird taste out as he stared back at Zim. "Y-yooou're... either... really drunk right now... or I am..." He wobbled, pulling himself to sit up normally again to get a better view of the alien wearing the corset and sexy clothes.

"Maybe a little of both." Zim said, kicking his boots off so he could put his feet up on the couch without getting any of the nasty dirt that was no doubt stuck to the bottom of the boots on the couch.

"Eh..?" Dib looked at the empty bottle and placed it on the ground. "Maybe you're right..." He paused and looked over at Zim's feet.

Claws! Zim had two claws for toes... What an exciting new discovery, no?

Zim then started undoing the corset and threw it somewhere, breathing much more easily now.

Dib looked over once more. Zim seemed to be constantly preoccupying his eyes.

"How can... you's be comfortable even with that on?" Dib asked, slurring just a little.

"Hey, ever tried wearing armor?" Zim said, tilting his head toward Dib lazily.

"Yes..." Dib groaned in memory of just trying to get a paper signed by his dad. "So it's like that?"

"Yeeah, something like that, just easier to move in." Zim said. His eyes seemed to light up for a moment before he said, "You know, you have nice eyes, you should wear contacts, get rid of those dumb glasses."

Dib blushed, subconsciously combing his hair nervously, trailing the floor with his eyes. "You...think..?" He asked, fidgeting slightly. "I feel insecures with no glasses, n'nn..."

"Yeah but..." Zim trailed off, reaching out with his hand to brush the cut marks on the side of Dib's face where the broken pieces of glass cut into it and continued, tapping the cuts, "That's what happens when you wear glasses."

Dib flinched a little, not looking up. "No, that's what I gets for confronting you..."

"Yeah, but you don't STOP confronting me, so glasses are daaaangerous." Zim said, leaning back and onto the arm of the couch.

Dib scowled, and slowly took his off to face Zim. "Like-this..?"

Zim leaned forward again, getting a good look at Dib's face and saying, "Muuuuch better."

"But I cants seeeees..." Dib whined, pouting a little.

"Then you should wear cooooontacts!" Zim whined. "At least for the wedding?"

Dib put his glasses back on, and leaned down on Zim. "Suuuuuuuure, suuuuure, I'll get some contactses... I don't see why it's that important..."

"It's important because Zim said so." Zim said before smirking and asking, "Want to see what was in that bag now?"

Dib perked up to get a better look at Zim'. "Okay!"

Zim pushed Dib back away from himself so he could have room to pull his clothes off. First he started with the stockings, then the skirt, then the shirt.

Dib watched, and when he realized what Zim was wearing under his clothes.

Beautiful lacy black panties and bra. "Z-Zim... THIS is...whash you bought??" He began crawling back to his side of the couch, a little intimidated by all the green Zim revealed under his clothes. Just... so... much... skin... and... flesh... and... shape...

Zim nodded and tilted his head to the side so the longer bangs were covering up one whole side of his face and asked, "What do you think?"

"W-What do I think?!" Dib's face was red, and it was taking a while for him to remember where he was. "I- You's... You... I... Clothes... Skin... ..." His face heated up as his mind crept amongst the more 'wrong' thoughts. "You look... you..." English language had lost its tight grasp on Dib, and it was evident.

Zim chuckled cutely and tilted his head the other way, saying, "Aw, the Dib-beast is stuttering. Does Zim look THAT good?"

Dib clinched his eyes shut. "Shut up! I won't say anything now!!" He turned his head and glared at the refrigerator.

"Awwwwww," Zim whined in disappointment. "So Zim does not look good?"

The blush on Dib's face didn't let up for a second! "I-I-I never says that..." He told him, still refusing to look at him.

"But you will not look at Zim. He must be ugly." Zim whined as if close to tears.

"Th-th-that's not the case!" Dib stuttered. "Y-Y-You look... good, Zim... very good... that I can't even look at you without ... .. feeling things."

"What kinds of things?" Zim asked, actually curious in his drunk, hazy minded state.

Dib's eye caught Zim again; he looked so sexy, so bear, so delicious. "Uh! Nothing." He turned his gaze away to blush deeper.

"Doesn't look like noooothing." Zim said, shifting a little so he could poke Dib's face without falling over.

Dib groaned, a little uncomfortable by the Zim's touching him. "R-Reallys... it's nothing... Just... forget it, okay?" His face grew hotter and he fidgeted.

"Aw come oooon." Zim whined, leaning over as if to show off cleavage, not that he had much.

Dib nervously looked over towards him and swallowed. "S-stop!" He leaned back further on the arm rest.

"No!" Zim said, leaning back and pouting like a child.

Dib got off the couch. "Then I'll go!" He folded his arms, glaring at the wall- one that was most definitely not as fleshy and smooth as Zim.

"DiiiIIIIIb," Zim whined, grabbing the human's sleeve with both of his hands and looking at him like a little lost puppy.

Dib looked down at Zim. "What do's you want from me?!" He asked, pulling back down on the alien, gripping him tightly in a hug, pushing him back against the cushions. "What? What isses it? This isn't fair! Just tell me!!"

"How good do I look?" Zim asked with a smirk as if everything that was said between then and 'Y-Y-You look... good, Zim...' didn't even happen.

"Damnit, Zim..." Dib cursed angrily, giving up. "Y-you look..." He held his breath, snuggling into Zim's neck a little. "irresistible..."

"Thank you," Zim said, not seeming to mind the touch at all.

Dib let out a small noise from the back of his throat as a response, but found it near impossible to let him go. "Why... are you... making me like this..?"

"Like what, are you sick?" Zim asked, tilting his head again.

Dib shook his head on Zim's neck slightly. "No... Why is it...? I hate this feeling... though... I can't let go of you to escape it...?"

"You liiiiiike Zim don't you?" Zim asked, petting Dib's head.

"No!! You're wrong!! I still hate you!" He hissed in drunken anger, clutching Zim tightly to his chest.

Zim snickered and said teasingly, "That's why you're holding me so tight, huh?"

"I can't let goooo... it's not my faults..." Dib murmured into Zim's neck, feeling the back of Zim's bra gently with the tip of his right fingers, while letting his left hand travel downwards to feel the slopes and softness of Zim's skin.

Zim chuckled and played with Dib's scythe shaped lock of hair, saying, "So you DO like Zim?"

He groaned. "Nooo, I dooont, I just... I just can't lets goooooo..." He whined, stopping his left hand on the top of Zim's black laced panties.

"You touch me like you like me." Zim said, tracing a finger down Dib's jaw line.

Dib held him closer, hesitantly breathing in at Zim's touch. "A-a-and yo-you're not scared..." He realized, still totally incapable from keeping his hand from running back up Zim's back to only find its way back down again the center dip of the small of his back.

"That's 'cause I'm drunk," Zim said, rather enjoying having his back rubbed.

"Then that's why I can't let go..." Dib mumbled pushing his bottom lip down his shoulder, taking the bit of flesh Zim had into his mouth just to hold for a bit. Yeah, things felt better now that that was the reason.

"Are you drunk too?" Zim asked, showing Dib a little more shoulder.

"Yeah..." He muttered, kissing all along it, up to where his ear would be, and making his way to his jaw line. "I think."

"Cooool," Zim said, giggling a little bit. "That tickles."

Dib closed his eyes half way, his beating heart not calming down one bit. "Do that again..." He kissed Zim's jaw line tenderly.

"Do what?" Zim asked, still giggling.

"That..." He kissed the side of Zim's lips. "...sounding happy..."

Zim sighed happily, saying, "I am happy... I think."

"I want more of that..." He kissed Zim tenderly, not letting a moment go by without his lips on Zim's mouth.

"Mmph," Zim hummed, kissing back.

Dib licked Zim's lips before his tongue slipped slowly into Zim's mouth, a hand slowly finding their way in the back of Zim's panties, feeling Zim's soft butt, while his other hand nimbly unhooked his bra.

"I always knew you'd end up gay Dib, though finding you like this with Zim is a LITTLE surprising." Gaz said, her big booted foot tapping impatiently.

Dib pulled from Zim, his face as red as a rose. "G-Gaz? Is... Is that you?" He looked at her, speaking slowly and groggily in his half asleep drunk state. He looked back at Zim, and then to Gaz again. "What are you talking about, anyway? I'm not gay..."

"So I DIDN'T just walking in on you with your tongue down Zim's throat?" Gaz asked though sounding completely uninterested. "Forget it. Look, I need to talk to you and Zim needs to put cloths on."

Zim just nodded and grabbed his skirt, slipping it on despite his and Dib's positions then trying to put his stockings on, fumbling in his drunken state.

Dib watched him for a moment before scooting off of him and looking back at Gaz. "Whyyy..?"

"A little birdie told me something very interesting and it's important we talk, NOW." Gaz said, stomping over to Dib and, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, dragging him away into the first floor study.

"Wha-What is it?" Dib asked in his drunken state once the girl had brought him to his study, rubbing his neck after she had let go of him.

"When Dad told me your bride-to-be's name was 'Zimma' I thought for a moment I heard wrong. Then when I heard you PUNCHED her I had to come over to check this out." Gaz said, poking around Dib's study as if she were interested.

"Waaaait... a second... Who told you I punched him...?" He held his head in confusion. "I've only punched him at home and-- Wait... Why does this matter to youuu..?"

Gaz squinted one eye open and asked, disregarding Dib's question, "Why ARE you marrying Zim? Isn't he an 'ALIEN bent on world domination and the extermination of the human race'?"

Dib grinned down at her. "Nooooooooooo. Not any moooooore... M'mmm... I'm marrying Ziiimmm, because Dad wants me to marry a girl- but girls only want me for mah looks ands for money, and so I put a small thingimojig in Zim's PAK to make him obey me or I could kill him and now I'm using him to buy time before I find a girl who cans loves me for who I aaaam, you see?"

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You and your 'ROmance' it's all a load of shit to me. Why don't you just ignore Dad like I do?"

"Cause... I want him to be proud of me..." Dib looks sadly at his little sister, sitting down now to dwell.

"Why does that even matter?" Gaz asked, crossing her arms and leaning against a wall. "It's just Dad. Who cares? What has he ever done for us, huh? Besides, you never seemed to care what he thought of you before."

"I always cared, Gaz..." He began fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. "It doesn't matter that he neverred tucked us in at night or was home for dinner... ... but, I always did want to make him proud of me... to show him I was capable... and maybe he could like me more... And so, I thought, logixally... thats... If I'd do what I want... and be really successful despite how he does nots like the paranormal... he'd accept it as a real science... but he never did... so... I'm trying to prove myself other ways too... To be a real man, at least..."

Gaz shook her head and pushed herself up off the wall, saying, "Whatever do what you want, but I'm telling you now, nothing you do will ever make him happy."

Dib looked up at her, eyes half lidded. "Why..? I'm doing like he says..."

"And you think he'll be satisfied once you DO find a woman who loves you and have a kid? No, he'll want more, he'll try to take over your life and eventually you won't be able to take it anymore, then all your effort will be for nothing. Keep that in mind." With that she left, catching a glimpse of Zim still wrestling with the stockings before slamming the front door on her way out.

Dib hung his head in disappointment, slowly standing to his feet and walking out of the study. "I'm going to bed, Zim... I'm tired..." He started to climb his way up the stairs.

Zim whined but gave up the struggle with the stocking and just threw them on the floor also climbing up the stairs.

"What's wroooong?" Zim asked, still sounding as drunk as when Dib left him.

"I dun wanna talk about it..." He answered, all droopy in his stance as he went into his room, not bothering again with the door or undressing. He took his glasses off and put them on the side as he hugged his pillow and groaned.

"MmmMm," Zim whined before following Dib into his room, and, leaning over him, asked, "Do you wanna hug?" Much like Gir would.

A muffled "no" came from the pillow. as he hunched his back. "Just leave me alone..."

"Aw-Alright," Zim sighed, pouting before leaving to go to his own room, forgetting where it was for a moment before remembering and curling up on his own bed, falling to sleep instantly.

* * *

Zim/Gaz: Me

Dib: the Almighty Smallest!


	15. Chapter 15

Oh wow, chapter fifteen! I can't beleive this fic made it this far!

I would like the thank everyone who reviewed this story! It meant so much, you just have no idea!

No this isn't the last chapter. But sixteen WILL be! Bet you can;t wait 'til thursday now huh?

* * *

The next morning, Dib was in the kitchen making pancakes, letting the liquid batter sizzle on the skillet as he waited to flip them. He glared at their browning edges in once again, a headache.

Zim came down the stairs in something that looked almost normal, black jeans and a black t-shirt, tight fitting with a pink skull with stars for eyes and, like the last time, he'd already had his head ache. "Hey Dib." He said, rubbing his bare arms nervously.

Dib squinted at the gloveless Zim before uttering a groan. "You know.. it's in about.. 4 more days..." He flipped a pancake.

"What is?" Zim asked, having been lost in his own thoughts.

"The wedding." Dib answered back dryly, flipping a different pancake now. His head throbbed, but not as much as last morning's.

"Oh... yeah." Zim said with just as much enthusiasm. "I have to pick up the dress tomorrow."

"The dress..?" Dib remembered vaguely last night Zim in his panties and bra. "That's right.. the dress.." He picked a few slabs of baked batter and placed it on a plate, pushing it on the counter some towards Zim. "That's yours." He poured more fluid batter on the skillet for his own.

"Thank you," Zim said, grabbing a fork and some syrup from the kitchen and taking his plate to the table so he could sit comfortably and eat.

"I kissed you last night." Dib brought up, out of the blue as the skillet sizzled, meeting new food.

"I-I know," Zim replied, poking at his food for a moment before cutting off a piece and eating it.

The sizzling skillet was the only noise for a good while it seemed. "That was disgusting.. our behavior last night, that is..." He mumbled, still not able to remember all of it, but a glazed, fuzzy memory of it instead.

"That's what getting drunk does to you." Zim said with a sigh. "What did your sister want last night?"

"She wanted to know about why I was marrying you, and to ask me about--" He shook his head. "Nothing much." He flipped a pancake.

Zim grunted annoyedly but left it alone, deciding he didn't care about what they were talking about.

More batter sizzled, and more pancakes flipped, eventually making their way to Dib's plate. He took it, prepared it with butter and syrup, and sat in his usual seat near Zim. He began eating in silence.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this..." Zim mumbled after eating half of his pancakes.

Dib made a soft noise from his throat before he swallowed his bite. "When I set out to do something, I usually do it." He cut himself another bite.

"Don't-don't make it too long, ok?" Zim asked instead of his usual demanding. "You know, before looking for a real girl."

Dib nodded slightly, staring at his food. "What will you do once I do?" He cut up more pieces before sticking them in his mouth.

"I don't... know." Zim said, staring at his food. "Maybe try to blend in with Earth society, maybe just lock my self in my base for the rest of my life, maybe turn myself over to Earth authorities..."

A noise of acknowledgment left Dib's throat. He chewed on more bits and pieces, swallowing. Silence.

"Maybe you can find a human who likes aliens.. then you can have a friend here, hm?" Dib asked, picking more at his food. "Maybe you can even find your own girlfriend. Though, they'd be human, but at least you'd have some one."

"Maybe," Zim said, not bothering to remind Dib that he was not interested in females and that most humans hated things they didn't understand, particularly aliens, not wanting to start an argument.

"Maybe you could even leave earth... You still have a working ship..." Dib's slowed down towards the end, small realization hitting him, and offending his heart. He finished his pancakes, and leaned back.

"I-I don't know if I'd be able to." Zim admitted. "But I might anyway, Earth is such a horrible place to be."

Dib made another noise in recognition. "That'll be good then.. You'll be gone.. and we wont have to worry about one another and.. you wont get ganged up on again... All will be well.." Dib mumbled almost depressingly as he stared up on the ceiling.

"Or, maybe I could move my base to the moon?" Zim suggested, trying to sound hopeful. "You know, in case my race won't accept me back."

Dib made a soft laugh. "Yeah.. Accepting you..." His mind wondered off to that in such a dark, sarcastic way. "Acceptance.. who needs it though.."

"You seem to need it an awful lot." Zim pointed out, poking a little more at his food.

The human's eyes landed on Zim in confusion. "What do you m-" He paused, letting his eyes drop again. "Yeah.. Right.. Dad..."

"I don't get what the big deal is." Zim said, jabbing his pancakes with the fork. "Irken's HAVE no parents, even the natural born irkens are taken away from their birther and put in incubation pods before they even hatch and yet we turn out just fine."

"I'm not sure all that's something to be proud of.." He gave a weak smirk before standing up and putting away his plate. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about this.."

"I don't want to talk about anything, I'm going back to bed." Zim said, standing up and pushing in his chair, debating whether he should put his own plate away or not.

Dib sighed, running water over his plate. "Zim..?"

"Hm?" Zim hummed, looking tiredly at Dib.

"How... much exactly do you hate me...? And, tell me the truth..." Dib asked, finding himself itching for another drink.

"Why... does that matter?" Zim asked, his expression growing interested.

Dib stared lostly back at Zim for a while before letting out a sigh. "Forget it... If you have any dirty clothes you need washed.. just throw them outside your room and I'll take care of them.." He looked down on the ground where had dropped toast the other day.

"Ok," Zim said, leaving his plate where it was on the table and walking up the stairs. He gathered up the cloths he'd worn the last few days, including the sexy underwear and put the in front of the door before closing it and climbing back into bed to sleep.

* * *

The next day, the doorbell sung with absolute sickening happiness.

Dib perked his head towards the door. "That's funny, I wasn't expecting anyone." He continued to sit on the couch. "Ziiiiim, get the doooor."

Zim grumbled, walking out of the kitchen and, first wiping the bread crumbs off of his hands from the toast he was eating, answered the door with a, "Hello?"

"LIKE! Oh, my, GAWD! It's YOUUUU! Zimma-dear! Ahhh! It's been entirely too long!" Shelby giggled, fully aware that it had only been two days. "Time for your DRESS, Meep!"

Dib stared at the door and grinned. "Good luck, Zimma!"

Zim, who was wearing the same out fit as the day before (pink skull shit and black jeans) nodded and mumbled, "Alright, let me get my jacket." And went over to the couch wear his jacket was hanging off the back on a hanger, having been cleaned already and, pulling it on went back over to the door and said, "Alright, let's go."

Shelby gave a fiendish squeal as she practically skipped to the car. "I just had, like, THE best day EVER!" She meeped, pulling herself inside and starting up the engine.

Zim followed Shelby, trying to seem interested while feeling incredibly depressed. "R-really? How so?"

They drove off, and Shelby laughed manically. "I met a new guy! He is SOOO FINE, TOO! Oh.. uh.. right, meep, am I invited to your wedding?" She asked, practically inviting herself in the process.

"Oh, uh, I guess." Zim said, NOT wanting to get on someone like Shelby's bad list. And Zim KNEW she had a list. Besides, it was only fair, she was planning the whole thing. Zim just had to keep telling himself that, that way he wouldn't have the urge to yell at her later. Or he would he just wouldn't do it.

"AWESOOOOME. Thanks like, a LOT, Zimma! Annnywaaaay.. Meep! He is SO hot.. broad shoulders.. tanned skin.. dirty blond hair.. and like! OH JEBUS! He has an English Accent!" She squealed, driving faster.

Zim started to get a little nervous.

"I-I take it he's very attractive then?" Zim asked, fidgeting nervously.

She let out a high pitch squeal. "He says that he's going to buy me all sorts of things and that I should come over to his house tomorrow and he'll fill the room with stuff for me, meep!"

"He sounds nice." Zim said, smiling and trying to be happy for Shelby, but it was a little hard in his depressed mood.

"Yeah.." She smiled back. "LOTS OF STUFFS FOR SHELBY, MEEP!" She sung happily.

After about twenty minutes, they made it to the wedding store. "Time for your dress, Meep!"

"G-good," Zim said, getting out of the car and walking up to the store and waiting for Shelby.

Shelby hopped happily to Zim, placing her hands on his shoulder. "How cool is this going to, like, beeee, Ziiiimmaaa.. Your very own wedding dress to even fit your boobless self!!"

Zim laughed a little annoyedly, saying, "Yeah, isn't that great?" And walking in to the store.

She spun around in the store, twirling her hair before going up to the same lady that was working before. "Hello, meep! Got the dress?"

Zim spotted his dress immediately on a rack with a bunch of other ordered in dresses. None of them were as pretty as his though.

"Ah yes.. It.. Seems as though she already found her dress.." The Iddy Bitty Titty Committee lady smiled at Zim full heartedly. "You already paid for it, so you can just take it and go if you want."

Shelby made sure to give a huge squeal as she made her way to Zim.

"Do you have the gloves as well?" Zim asked, taking his dress off the rack.

"It should be hanging over the hanger, Dear." The lady smiled at him.

Zim grabbed up the gloves and smiled kindly to the store lady, saying, "Thanks." He then turned to Shelby and asked, "Are we ready to go then?"

Shelby thought about buying more underwear, but decided she'd be spoiled enough tomorrow. "Yeah." She smiled chippishly, heading for the door now.

"Good," Zim sighed happily, following Shelby out.

They made their way to the beat-up pink car and happily went on their way. The music was off and the car sped through the road merrily. "Zimma, meep, I would just like you to know, that, like, this will be like, so magical for you... and I'm like, so happy."

"Thanks," Zim said, flashing Shelby a quick smile before going back to looking out the window, sinking down a little in his seat and pulling his hands more into his sweater.

"I- I was wondering, Zimma..." Shelby started with a thoughtful 'meep' once more. "You said that you have no friends here, right...? Would it be alright, if, like, you know... meep..." She trailed off. "I think that you are pretty cool for a little green girl." Shelby proclaimed quietly, a sad smile on her lips. "I mean, it would be totally alright if you were to say no, I mean, but- like- we're friends, right...? I'll give you my number?"

"I guess," Zim said, looking over at Shelby, a little surprised.

The meep demon's loneliness seemed to dissipate at that moment, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Okay then.. Be sure to call me, like, whenever, okay?" Shelby smiled, feeling much better with herself as they drove onward still. Not too long of a drive later, Shelby drove up to Dib's house. "There you go, Zimma, meep!"

"Thanks," Zim said, waiting for Shelby to give him a slip of paper with her number on it before getting out of the car. "See you in two more days."

"Yeah! Seeya and like, good luck!" She waved a hand out the window before driving off.

Zim waved back before going into the house, a little excited to see how Dib would react to the dress. "Dib! I'm baaack!" Zim said as he walked into the house. "Dib?" He looked around. The TV was on but Dib wasn't in the living room. He looked in the kitchen and then called up the stairs, "DIB!?"

Said human quirkishly poked his head out of the laundry room. "Z-Zim! Back already? How'd it go? The.. uh.. Meep-girl didn't scare the crap out of you?" He laughed quickly as he closed the laundry door behind him forcefully, making his way to Zim swiftly while smiling brightly.

"No, she didn't, in fact she was very nice." Zim said, waiting for Dib to ask about the dress, a small smile on his face.

"Oh, that's great!" Dib pronounced quickly, looking around the room before letting his eyes land back at Zim. "Did they have the gloves and dress you wanted? Fix it up?"

"Yeah," Zim said, nodding and holding the dress close.

Dib stared up stairs not even noticing the dress. "That's great, Zim." He chastited before looking back at the Irken. "Hey, Zim, I'm.. I have to go back up to my room for a second, okay?" And with that he escaped the room Zim was in by briskly elevating himself up the stairs.

Zim pouted as he watched Dib disappeared into his room at the top of the steps. He had been really excited about the dress and Dib just kind of brushed it off. What could be more important than the dress!? Zim sighed, deciding he didn't care as he made his way up the stairs and into his own room, putting the dress in his closet. After that he headed back down stairs to watch TV, waiting for Dib to come down.

When two episodes of the black and white show Zim was watching went by and still no sign of Dib up roaring his presence in the house with his human self anywhere to be found, that's when things seemed especially weird for Zim. He looked towards the stairs, one eye brow raised. Nothing. So he got up and headed up them. "Dib?" He asked, knocking on the door before opening it.

Dib, sitting behind the bed let out a small gasp. He shuffled something under the bed carefully as he rose his head more to see Zim. "What're you do'n here?"

"You've been up here for HOURS Dib." Zim said, walking into the room. "What are you doing?"

"N'nothin!" Dib stood, paling a little bit at Zim. "Just sitt'n.. or.. now, standing. Zim- please go away." The human fidgeted a little from his spot.

"Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib and his weird behavior before his eyes widened. That smell, he could just barely catch it but it was there all right. "Dib... have you been DRINKING?" He asked, eyes narrowing once more.

Dib took an unsteady step back, his face going even more white. "Dr-Drinking!?" He let out a nervous laugh. "I dun know what'r talking about!" He then grew a firm voice. "No. No, Zim, I'vnt been drinking!"

"Then why are you acting like you've got a dirty little secret?" Zim asked, advancing on Dib.

Dib took another step back, frowning a little before briefly glancing down under the bed and back at Zim. "I'm not acting! If I seem I have a dirty little secret, it's because I haves you! Cause, you'd be... the dirty little secret.."

Zim growled and leaned in close to Dib's face, smelling the alcohol on his breath. Without warning he gave the human a shove.

Dib fell back against the wall and staggered back to his feet. He gave Zim a confused look. "What?!" He asked defensively.

"You're coordination is off, you're slurring your words, your breath smells like alcohol. You HAVE been drinking!" Zim yelled.

Dib recoiled a little. "You didn' have to shove me though..." Dib looked slightly offended, confused if he should feel angry or ashamed.

"I was testing you, you idiot." Zim said, almost shaking with anger. "You said you would stop!"

Dib coward more while still upholding his confused look. "I don't know whets you're talk'n about.." He facial features flinched. "I dun want this, Zim... I didn't want you to know either but.. it wash justs a li'l bit.. It's not going to hurt me...!"

"You're already tipsy, Dib!" Zim said, eyes narrowing. "How much longer until you got drunk!?"

"Who cares if I'm drunk?! I'm fuck'n awesome an..d I needs this!" Dib frowned at Zim, taking a few steps forward and invading Zim's personal space to try to show him how tough he was.

Zim growled, not backing down. "So, what, it's OK for you to drink because you think you need to be drunk!?"

He yelled. Dib took hold of Zim in an embrace and dug his face into the other's wig. "YES! It IS, because there is nothing WRONG with its!" He groaned, letting his need for Zim rise a little.

Zim growled and gave Dib a shove, backing away and saying, "There's nothing WRONG with it!? Is that really what you think!?" Zim shook his head and with out waiting for an answer, turned to leave the room, quickly moving down the stairs.

Dib scowled and cursed under his breath at the absence of Zim. After debating himself a bit he pushed himself out of his room and swiftly scuttled downstairs, tripping a few times until he spotted Zim in the kitchen. "Ziiim!" He whined.

Zim turned around, showing Dib the knife he'd pulled from the rack, saying angrily, "If you can drink then I can cut."

Dib's eyes grew wide and he quickly sobered up some. He rushed over to Zim. "Drop that, Zim! This isn't funny!"

"Who's laughing!? Not me!" Zim yelled, turning so he was between Dib and the knife. "If you get to drink I get to cut!" He brought the knife up and down on to his outer thigh, piercing skin and whatever else irkens hand under their skin.

"FUCK, ZIM!" Dib cried out, dipping down and grabbing Zim's arm. "Drop it!" "NO!" Zim yelled, backing up to try and pull away from Dib. "BACK OFF!"

"Zim.. Please..." Dib said more gently but still so very sharp. "I don't want you to fucking hurt yourself, okay!? This is fucking STUPID! WHY ARE YOU DOING IT!?"

"Because it's only fair!" Zim tried backing away more but found himself cornered by the counters.

"No, Zim, it isn't!" Dib growled, tugging on his arm tighter. "Drinking and cutting have nothing in common!" He narrowed his eyes, and with his other hand proceeded trying to take the knife out of Zim's claws

."Shut up! You don't understand!" Zim yelled, jerking the knife back and blindly stabbing at Dib in an attempt to make him move back.

Dib yelled, being stabbed right back on the shoulder that he had been stabbed only days before. He grabbed his shoulder, but upon opening his eyes and seeing Dib try to escape, he quickly fell to his knees and grabbed the Irken around his waste single armedly.

Zim fell on his elbows trying to get away, dropping the knife and trying to wriggle away. "let go of me Dib! LET GO!"

"NO, ZIM!" Dib growled still holding onto Zim. He reached out for the knife weakly with his hurt arm, and pushed it a ways away from them before crawling up higher on Zim. Zim winced a little as he strained his hurt leg to try and get away, crying out, "It's not FAIR! YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!"

"This is PERFECTLY fair! Hurting yourself is fucking STUPID!" Dib yelled back, pulling up to Zim's shoulder to hold him in place.

"Yeah and drinking yourself out of your organs is REAL smart!" Zim yelled breathlessly, pushing himself up to try and break out of Dib's grip.

"Zim," Dib stared up at him from his knees in all seriousness, holding him from around his waste once more. "A lot of people drink and are fine. I'm not doing anything to hurt myself this way; I don't drink enough for it to affect my body... Cutting, though, is putting real harm on you, and it creates a bad chemical in your brain that temporarily makes you feel good, and then afterwards put you further in depression- so stop it."

"No!" Zim said, stopping his struggles temporarily to turn and look at Dib, his eyes staring hard. "If you can drink then I can cut. Besides, how the hell do you know how an irken's brain chemicals work?"

"Why ELSE are you doing it?! It doesn't seem to be making you any better in the long run!" Dib glared.

"We think with our paks, Dib." Zim said, trying once more to slink out of Dib's grip once more and to not reveal he himself knew nothing of his own anatomy. "What else are our brains good for now other than to release chemicals anyway?"

The human panted frustratedly. "Zim! Are you even hearing yourself?! This sounds pathetic! You've told me no other reason you'd be doing this, and you sound like you're embracing depression! What the fuck, Zim!?"

"WHY DO YOU CARE!?" Zim yelled annoyedly. Dib paused, gently letting go of Zim to think this over. "I don't know. Hold on." He sat back and thought on this while Zim sort of glared at him. "I guess because it annoys me to no end you'd give up like this. You're not suppose to give up; you're suppose to fight with me and be strong so I can be strong, too."

Zim turned over to sit on his butt, asking, "What does cutting have to do with me giving up?"

"Why cut you when you can cut me?" Dib asked, staring so hard at Zim that one may even think he was viewing into the other's soul.

"Because you lost interest." Zim said bitterly, glaring at Dib. "That and your pathetic race isn't worth the scars."

Dib was silent for a moment longer, not exactly knowing how to respond. "Lost interest in what..? I'm the same way I've always been," Dib replied finally, and slowly, unaware of human growth. "And if they're not worth the scars, why give them the satisfaction by putting it on yourself instead?"

"Because I AM worth the scars." Zim said, bring his knees up to his chest so he could lean forward on his legs. "I'm tired of speaking with you, human." He said after a moment, not bothering to give Dib the honor of using his name. "You're grating on my nerves, so go finish inebriating yourself so I can bleed in peace."

Dib held his breath and suddenly got up and grabbed Zim with his good arm, pulling him up and over his shoulder.

"Sorry, no can do, emo." Dib frowned, and without giving Zim any room to complain, turned and started heading off for the stairs.

"IRK!" Zim swore. "You're such an ass! Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone!?"

"When have I EVER left you alone when I had the opportunity to be an ass?" Dib asked sarcastically, climbing up the stairs with some difficulties.

"I hate you." Zim pouted like a child who'd just been betrayed by his best friend.

"Yeah? Well I hate you, too. I guess we both will just have to deal, wont we?" The human responded, making he way to Zim's room and carefully lying the Irken down on his bed. "Computer- Medical supplies, please." The computer sighed boredly, and the tables in Zim's room changed to that of medical tables like they have before in Dib's room.

"I hate you more." Zim pushed, averting his eyes away from Dib to glare at a wall.

"I strongly doubt that, green-kid." Dib answered absent mindedly as he gathered medical supplies from the table, and carefully letting them down on the bed as he sat next to Zim's torso, one handedly preparing some stuff to fix Zim with.

"Why do you insist on making my existence a miserable one, even when you have no reason to?" Zim asked, glaring harder.

Dib ignored the Irken as he growled at the pants he was wearing. "Pull'm down a little." Dib said, gesturing with an oil spray to Zim's pants.

"Say please." Zim said, turning his head to glare at Dib.

Dib glared back at Zim, irritated. "Please pull your pants down a little for me, Zim."

Zim lifted his hips a little and tugged down his pants to where he's stabbed himself. "Hurry it up, Dib-stench."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Like I care to stare at you HERE for too long?" He sprayed the oil onto Zim's open wound, wiping off the extracts and blood running down the leg with a piece of cotton. "You're ridiculous."

"I'M ridiculous!?" Zim yelled, outraged. "I'm not the one sneaking around trying to get drunk even though you SAID you were going to stop!"

"I never said I'd stop!" Dib yelled back, angrily taking some goop with a cue tip and smearing it against the cuts. "I said I'd TRY to stop! That is exactly what I'm doing! I'm TRYING to stop- so get off of my case already!"

"NO!" Zim yelled, just about ready to cut into Dib again. "You get cuddly when you're drunk and I'm tired of you fucking touching me! You get drunk and come near me EVER again and I swear to every Tallest there ever was that I will NOT hesitate to rip out your throat!"

"So it's okay for you to taunt me and tease me when I'm drunk, acting like you want that stuff, but it's not okay for me to respond back?" Dib glared. "You're such a fucking hypocrite!" He turned his back on Zim, taking his discourage and screwing the top of the goop back up before taking a different piece of cotton than before and dabbing his shoulder with it.

"I was drunk then too! I didn't know WHAT the fuck I was doing!" Zim said, pulling his pants up, I a little afraid Dib was actually going to do something then.

Dib sighed, putting the bloodied cloth away before taking the oil spray and spraying it on his shoulder. "Be more mad at yourself than me, then." Dib grumbled. "In any case, you like it then so I cant help but think you want some sort of attention like that."

"Go to hell." Zim said angrily. "Or leave this room at least, I'm going to bed." Dib scowled, opening the goop once more to smudge it on his shoulder. "Fine, then. If you need me, I'll be watching TV downstairs." As though Zim would ever need him! He put the medical stuff back and told the computer to put it away before leaving sullenly.

Zim pulled the covers up over himself, not even bothering to get changed for bed. The more cloths he was wearing the better anyway, he felt horribly exposed somehow by that conversation.

It was five in the after noon before he felt ready to get up and that was only because he was hungry. So he trudged down the stairs, worrying a little at how weak his limbs felt.

Dib busied himself in the kitchen, flopping pancakes boredly when a little green person out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. "About damn time. How's your leg?"

Zim just grunted, walking over to the couch and plopping down on it.

Dib flipped the pancakes onto a plate and turned the skillet off. He took out his fork and some syrup, pouring the syrup all over it, on top of mounted butter before sitting grumpily next to Zim, where he happily ate in front of him.

Zim groaned and stood up to go into the kitchen, almost making it before tripping and hitting his head on the counter on the way down. "Ahhhhhh," He hissed, pulling himself up onto hand and knees, holding his forehead. "SHIT! Just SHIT!" He yelled, voice straining between annoyance, pain, misery, and anger. "I hate my fucking life, I hate these fucking counters, I hate this fucking floor." He kicked one of the counters. "Fuck this I'll just sit here." His voice quickly turned calm, not really having the energy for too many emotions at the moment.

Dib set the plate down to rush over to Zim. "Are you okay?" He asked dryly, holding a hand out for Zim.

"No," Zim whined. "I'm not." He took Dib's hand, pulling himself up slowly.

Dib sighed, placing Zim's arm around his shoulder as he helped him back into the living room and to the couch. "Be more careful."

"Shut up," Zim mumbled, leaning back against the couch limply.

Dib picked his plate back up, and sitting next to Zim, handed him the plate while just staring blankly at the black TV screen. "Here." He offered. "Take it."

Zim looked from the plate to Dib, then back against before taking it and saying, "Thanks," Before taking a big bite of pancake.

"Don't mention it." Dib sunk in the couch. "Ever." He turned the TV on, going through the channels idly.

"Who would I mention it to," Zim snapped lazily. "I've got no fri- wait, I guess there is Shelby..."

"Shelby? Shelby's your FRIEND now?" Dib asked in disbelief, landing on the Spooky network where a scary movie he was familiar with was playing.

"Yeah," Zim said, perking up a little at the thought of watching a scary movie. "I invited her to our wedding. I was going to tell you earlier but you were in such a rush to go up to your room to drink that I never got the chance."

Dib cleared his throat through his fist. "Y-yeah. I see. Wedding. Grand." He rolled his eyes, watching curiously at the movie. "I think I've seen this one before."

"Is it any good?" Zim asked, taking a few more big bites from his food.

Dib stared wide eyedly at the screen as blood began to flow into the windows of the room these two little kids were in, flooding them in, forcing them to choke on the mysterious blood, unable to shake his head or nod.

"Why's that doing that?" Zim asked, finishing off his pancakes.

"Be-Because the house wants to kill everyone, while feeding off of fear to make it stronger!" Dib had seen this movie twice already, and unlike most all scary movies, this one freaked him out.

"How can a house do that though?" Zim asked, tilting his head towards Dib.

"It is half way in another dimension where it is given supernatural abilities..." Dib never let his eyes off of the television, scooting slowly even closer to Zim.

Zim's eyes cut towards Dib for a moment before he shook his head and went back to the movie, laughing lightly ever now and then.

"MOMMA!" A voice on the screen called. "MOMMA, HELP ME!" The little girl cried for help, swimming on top of the thick blood before being pulled under by a blanket tying around her foot.

Dib watched in horror, inching himself lower and tensing up both his hurt and fine shoulders.

"Are you ok?" Zim asked, turning back to Dib, surprised by the human's reaction.

"M-me? Yeah.. I'm okay.." Dib muttered as the a trunk floated a little in the blood, capturing the trapped girl, and sinking once more. The girl pounded on the trunk before she lost all consciousness. Dib cringed. He hated this movie, and so he brought his knees to his chest, keeping a close eye while the little boy tried to dip under in the blood to find his sister, failing miserably.

"You don't look ok," Zim said, tilting a little to get a better look at Dib's face.

Dib ripped his eyes off of the screen and looked at Zim. This time, there wasn't scratched up fingerprinted glasses in-between them.

"I'm fine..." He sighed, finding a strange relief looking at Zim now.

The TV made a clattering noise and a strange fish monster came up and ate the boy. Dib screeched, clinching his eyes shut as he huddled over himself better.

A woman in the movie opened the bedroom door, and there was no blood evident in the room; no boy either. Just a trunk misplaced.

"No you're not you're- are you wearing contacts?" Zim asked, leaning close to Dib.

Dib slowly opened his eyes when the music showed it was safe again, and looked at Zim. "Y-yeah... I am..." He glanced at the screen and back to Zim.

"You look good," Zim noted before turning his attention back to the movie.

Dib's eyes widened at the Irken, taking a hand to feed an eyelid. He had felt so insecure about this! But.. Zim... "Th-thanks..." He totally forgot about the movie... the scariest part in Dib's opinion passed by without him even realizing it cause he was too stuck in shock.[/color[/quote

Zim continued to watch the movie, giggling insanely at one part and only snickering at the next but seemingly in a good mood.

Dib watched back at the TV, forgetting how scary it was and, somehow, also finding humor in it now. It went on like this for another hour, with the two giggling and laughing together at the TV.

"I'm going to go back to sleep." Zim said as the credits rolled, giving Dib a smile before putting his plate in the kitchen and heading up the stairs.

Dib turned the TV off, left his glasses, and took his contact's case upstairs, giving a "Goodnight," before he closed the door behind him in his room, bedding himself.

Zim collapsed in his bed, staying awake for about an hour, the blood soaking the sheets annoying him slightly but he tolerated it for some sleep.

* * *

Zim: Me

Dib/Sccary Movie Description from Nowhereness: TSI

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	16. Chapter 16 Final

Welcome to the final chapter of Tying the Grudge Knot.

It's so SAD!

But never fear!

Tonight we will be posting the first chapter to a story called Under My Skin, the SEQUAL!

WOO!

GOOD READ IT!

After this!

* * *

The morning before the wedding, Dib stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around himself and sighing. He dried himself off after brushing his teeth, and tossed the towel in the hamper, where he had forgotten a hidden vodka bottle.

He dressed himself up in baggy black pants, a net shirt, and a black undershirt with a blue exed out face with a bullet hole through its head. He wore his contacts a bit proudly now.

He stepped out of the bathroom looking around for Zim.

Zim was lounging on the couch, watching more black and white television and wearing a black net shirt over a cut off, pink tank top meant to look like I was torn at the bottom. It was obvious he was wearing the same jeans as yesterday because there was the rip where he'd stabbed himself.

Dib spotted Zim and quickly went down stairs, pulling over to the couch and looking a bit frantic. "Zim!! Tomorrow! Tomorrow's the day! What-what are we going to do?!?" He panicked- the marriage's date just now hitting him as hard as a rock.

Zim jumped a little and he pulled his bare feet up to protect them should Dib decide to touch. "Ye-yeah, where have you been, Dib-beast?" Zim asked, giving Dib an odd look.

"Taking a shower..." Dib answered, knowing he probably meant 'why haven't you been reacting like this earlier?' "A-anyway.. I'm.. I'm a little nervous.. do you think it'll all go out well?"

"Why dos that matter? We're only getting married in the legal sense, but we hardly love each other." Zim pointed out, sipping on a cold soda.

"That's not the point. What if something goes wrong at the wedding? Then what?" He shifted his glances around looking frightful.

"Nothing is going to go wrong. It's a simple wedding, and it's not like there are emotions in the mix to goof anything up. SO stop worrying." Zim said, rolling his eyes, trying to appear as calm as he sounded, but really he was also nervous.

"No emotions!" Dib breathed, standing up straight. "Right! No emotions, no emotions! Nothing could possibly go wrong." A thought occurred to Dib, and he ran to the frontal side of the couch, and stood right in front of Zim, looking frantic again. "Gaz knows that you're .. uh, you! What if she messes this up and tells Dad?!"

"Don't you think she'd have told by now if she was going to?" Zim asked. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Just relax." Zim said though inwardly flinched at the thought of Prof. Membrane knowing about him.

"Right- Right! It's all fine!" Dib exhaled once more, beginning a sharp pace in a line in front of the couch. "We'll just go in there, you'll walk down the isle in your wedding dress... the old man will ramble on about loving each other forever.. we give our vows.. and kiss. I take you out of the building for a 'honey moon', which we'll probably just stay in a hotel for a week to not arouse any suspicion when people notice we're home.. and it's over." He clutched his heart. Everything was going to fail, he knew it.

"Right," Zim said with a nod. "And you won't get drunk for any of it, right?"

"Drunk?" Dib stopped, the hair on his back prickling up. "No.. No.. I'll want to... I'll, REALLY want to but..." He sighed. "I.. I wont take a drink, I promise."

"Ok," Zim said, nodding in approval. "Then nothing should go wrong.

Dib watched him for a moment before sitting down next to him, loosely letting his arms around the Irken where clothes were in between their skins.

Zim grunted in protest and asked, "What are you doing?" But made no motion to move away.

"I just.. felt.. ... I needed a hug." Dib admitted, pulling away from Zim and scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I.. need to get working on those vows.." He stood up again, looking around aimlessly.

"What do you mean by vows?" Zim asked, tilting his head, letting the 'hug' thing drop.

Dib caught Zim's eyes. "Oh right, vows... It's like.. this small little cue card of things that you'd like to say about the other, that you'll love them forever, and why you'll love them forever, and what they mean to you.. mushy stuff. Don't worry, Zim. I'll lie in my vow to you." His eyes trailed around some more until he found a pen on the floor. He always had bad luck with pens straying from where they should be.

"I see, so a bunch of sweet words meant to make you stay with the other forever." Zim confirmed with a sigh before turning back to the TV. "Shouldn't that have been done days ago?"

"I procrastinate. You're going to do yours, too, right?" Dib grinned, picking the pen up and walking back to his study to begin the sweet-wordiness, not bothering to wait for Zim's answer.

Zim began to work on his own, letting his pak memorize it instead of writing it down by hand, blushing when he thought of having to SAY those things to DIB.

Dib scratched and scribbled some things down on a sheet of paper. He glared at the paper, scrunched it up, and tossed it behind him, starting anew. After several rewrites, he came out with -the- perfect vow, that if anybody were to hear this and didn't know how Zim's and his relationship really was, would probably bawl out crying at the wedding at the beauty. Okay, maybe that was an over exaduration, but Dib was sure proud.

"I've got mine." Dib smiled, holding up the slip of paper as he walked out of the study and back towards Zim. "Are you finished?"

"Yup," Zim said, munching on some chips he had gotten from the kitchen. Brain food that was.

Dib beamed brightly at Zim, showing the paper to him. "Would you like to read mine?" He asked, obviously proud of his written lies.

"I dunno, do I?" Zim asked teasingly before taking the piece of paper and reading what Dib had written.

The sheet of paper had obviously been written by somebody who was OCD when writing, because each line had been written perfectly straight with no ink blobs; absolute perfect cursive.

_'Zimma, since the day I met you, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I find that when I stare into your eyes, I __loose__ myself in their color and brilliance. Every word you speak __seem__ to take the breath out of me. I consider myself the luckiest person in all the worlds for being able to take your hand in marriage. Zimma, you are __my everything__. I love you more than I love life itself. I love you so, so much, and I wouldn't give you up for the world.'_

Zim felt a little nervous reading that and handed the paper back to Dib, saying, "I found no grammatical errors or spelling mistakes."

Dib grinned brighter, looking at his vow. "Do you think it will work?" He stared a hole through the paper with his eyes with his intense studying skills; a skill he had never used on Zim's face, nor cared to.

"It should do fine," Zim said, eating another chip.

"Good." Dib grinned. "Should I read yours, or are you going to surprise me with it?"

"I don't have it written down." Zim said, putting his chips down and showing Dib his empty hands. "So it look like you'll have to wait."

Dib's face dropped a little but picked back up as his gentle, expired happiness reacquainted the air. "Oh, well, that's okay then. Yeah, I'll wait." He hummed in thought and carefully set the paper down to admire some more. "So.. I was thinking..." Dib leaned over the paper. "Would you ... by chance know how Gaz knew I hit you?"

"Doesn't she always know... everything?" Zim said, a little fear showing at the mention of Dib's sibling.

"She's still human, though." Dib looked around suspiciously. "She has had a few cases of psychic experiences, but they were more like de ja vu of what she was going to do to me."

"I don't KNOW how she found out, but she did, but it's not like she'd tell anyone if she knows I am Zim, right, I mean we do this kind of thing to each other all of the time, the only thing that's different is we're getting married." Zim pointed out.

Dib brought his honey colored eyes up to view Zim in content. He blinked a few times before sighing a small breath. "You're right." He let out a small chuckle, arching his back slightly before standing up straight and stretching his arms out over his head. "I think, that is." He smirked and walked to the fridge where he ignored some poorly hidden bottles to grab some soda.

The day passed a lot like this, the two of them keeping mostly quiet, only talking when they felt like breaking the silence for just a moment before letting the quiet blanket them again. They alternated between watching movies and then watching TV before night fell and they both went to bed for the last time as singles.

The morning was awkward. Dib made a breakfast for the both of them. It would be the last thing the two of them would be staying in this house until their 'honeymoon' was over.

Despite this, the breakfast was quite simple. Toast with jelly on it. Orange juice included. Dib shoved the nervousness down his stomach along with the crusty bites of the toast. His need to control himself with a certain liquid substance nagging at his mind like mad, but he kept his eyes strictly on the jelly.

Zim finished his toast off quickly before asking, "I can't remember, will your dad be there, and who else?"

"A few of his monkey scientists, and Gaz.. and I suppose that Meep Demon as well." Dib answered back absentmindedly. "If I actually had friends, they'd be there too." He gave a sarcastic chuckle. The irony of having fame but no friends almost killed Dib inside. He stood up, took his and Zim's plate and walked onward to the sink, running water on it.

"Ok, and when are we leaving?" Zim asked, turning in his chair to look at Dib.

The human looked back at Zim and gave a small, unsteadied nod. "Now, if you want. You know, if you're ready that is."[/quote

"I'm ready, but when does the wedding start?" Zim asked, standing up and stretching.

Dib sighed and ran a hand through his hair, fetching his cell phone from his pants. He flipped it open and pressed some fancy buttons. "One." He snapped it closed and put it back in his pants.

"Alright, let's go then." Zim said, going upstairs and getting his dress.

Dib followed him up and snatched up a few of his necessary things from his room. Taking the bag of things to his thumping chest, he trailed back down.

Zim got his dress and went into the bathroom to get his make-up. After he did that he went down into the living room, setting everything down on the couch. "Are we ready?" He asked, giving Dib an uncharacteristically reassuring smile.

Dib stared at that smile for a bit, a little taken aback, and made a noise to signal for yes. "Do you need help with carrying your stuff?" He asked, feeling as though he had to do something to earn that smile.

"Nope, I've got it." Zim said, grabbing up his things again and going to the door, saying, "You can get the door for me though."

"Right." He opened the door and held it open for Zim, letting his mind travel to a million different places at once; Zim being one.

Zim walked out the door, giving Dib a nod of thanks.

The two of them got in the car and began driving to the church. Dib let out a content sigh. Everything was, after all, going according to plan. In no time, he'll find himself a girlfriend and drop Zim for her, and it will all be wonderful. Though, despite how much of a fraud this marriage was, he couldn't shake the deep nervousness of saying "I do" to Zim.

Zim was feeling his own nerves on edge but he managed to cover it up with a small smile and the thought that it would all be over soon.

"So," Dib began as he pulled the car into the parking lot of the Church. "Are you 'excited'?" Dib flashed Zim a fake grin, trying to break the silence. He reached back and grabbed his stuff as he clutched onto the car door handle.

"Yeah," Zim said sarcastically. "Are you?"

"Yeah, actually," Dib admitted, smiling cheesily down at his stuff before exiting the car. "I am. Only a little, though."

"Good, good, guess that means you won't be stealing the wine and hiding it all over the church like you did at the house." Zim said, grabbing his things and walking into the church, smile gone, replaced with a less than impressed expression.[

Dib stared dumbfounded up at Zim, blinking blankly before catching up to Zim with a "What?" He took a better hold of his things as they walked through the church to the back, totally ignoring the priest trying to welcome them and bless them. "What are you talking about, Zim..? I ... at home.. I-" He shifted his glance nervously before stopping the briskly walking Zim by his wrist. "Those were from a while ago."

"Don't lie to me, Dib." Zim said, turning and looking rather angry. "Bet you hid them the moment I was out of sight didn't you? Was I sleeping then? Or was I not even there at all? I bet it was when I was picking my dress up with Shelby wasn't it? THAT's why you looked so nervous when I got home, huh?"

Dib paled. His grip on Zim still tight, forcing the priest to walk away as though he had seen nothing.

"I-" He held his breath for a moment to think. "How much did you find?"

"Enough to know you were hiding them and didn't just stick them somewhere in a drunken stupor for later." Zim said, yanking on his wrist to get it back.

Dib ran his fingers through his hair, thinking carefully of the content of his next words. "After that fight the other night, I was going to throw them out.. I just.. hadn't had the chance yet..." And oddly enough, he felt a certain attachment to them as though they were alive.

"You've had plenty of chances!" Zim argued. "And even before that! You keep saying you're going to quit but you don't!"

"I'm not drinking NOW am I? Have I since the other night? No! I haven't! I've been good!" He fought back, still as pale as a sheet for being found out. "And, you know, really! I'd think you'd be happier if I drank myself out a liver. There's just no win with you."

"Yeah, but it's been what a DAY!? How do I know you won't get drunk off your ass tonight, huh!?" Zim yelled, pointing an ungloved finger at Dib. "And what about YOU!? I'D have thought you'd be happy with me spilling my own blood! But no, you don't like my blood leaving my body unless it's YOU causing it! You really are a sadist aren't you!? You aren't happy with just STOPPING my every plan! You have to HURT me too!"

Dib nervously looked around in the church, thankful that the only one in there besides them two was the priest who was trying desperately hard to mind his own business.

"And when was the last time I exactly stabbed you?" Dib asked in an angry hushed voice pointing to Zim's leg. "I think you've cut yourself more than I have! I only stop you because I care about your fucking feelings sometimes. Now, getting drunk makes a lot more since to me than cutting but, like the sadistic bastard trying to care for your fucking feelings, I'm also not drunk at the moment like I could have been if I listened to myself rather than you and my fucking conscience!"

"You and your conscience can go to hell! At least I'm not slowly killing myself!" Zim said in the same hushed voice. "And don't start acting like you care NOW! You and I both know that's a lie! "

Dib let out a sarcastic laugh with a sarcastic "I cant believe this" grin to match. "Fuck you, Zim! You couldn't possibly know what I care and what I don't care about, so fuck you! Fuck you for believing that I'm more of a sadistic bastard than somebody who'd actually give a damn about you, however the fuck small that might be- just to not want you to hurt yourself." He brought his hand to the side of his own face, trying to fidget with his glasses, but failing inevitably when he realized he got contacts. That empty feeling of missing the bars on the side of his face raised his angered desire for his alcohol.

"I know perfectly well you don't care about me! The only thing you care about is getting this stupid wedding over with and finding your own stupid human female to mate with, living happily ever after, and leaving Zim again!" Zim hissed with a glare before turning to retreat to a safe place, meaning the dressing room that was set up for him to use.

Dib's heart fell into the pit of his stomach and he swiftly made his way into Zim's dressing room before he could shut the door on him. "Don't fucking give me that, Zim!" He leaned up against the now closed door behind him as he once again grabbed a hold of Zim's wrist to turn him around to face him. "It's not like this is real anyway. You didn't even want to get in this marriage to begin with, remember?"

Zim's antennae were quivering under his wig. One of Dib's fingers had closed on exposed skin. But he wasn't about to let the human see him scared, not again. He set his face into an angry expression and said, "I DON'T want this marriage! I want you to go fuck yourself! But you had to go and complicate things! My life would have been so much easier if you had just let us keep fighting! OR even if you had turned me in! Then at least I could have died under the impression that I was doing something important! But now I'm going to die a failure, forced to blend in with you Earth-PIGs until the day my body finally gives out!"

Dib glared hard. "What difference would it have made?! If you want- I could fucking kill you, and feed you reasons, lies as to why you're doing something important- but you know, in reality, you AREN'T. You're just feeding my need for a wife for now! Then after that, you have NOTHING. You're RIGHT! But you know, you COULD be doing something important, but the only bad thing about that is you'd have to be PRO-EARTH. It's your own fault for being in this RUT and hell hole! None of it's my own!" He yelled, with a shred of desperate anxiety rising in him. "Damn it- I don't even know why I- Fucking hell.." He shifted uncomfortably on the door, his grip tightening once more. "I still keep you around for some reason. You just amplify every bad about me."

"LET GO!" Zim yelled, argument almost forgotten when Dib's hold tightened. "You're right! It doesn't matter any more! Either way I've already given up, so either way I have to die knowing my last view of my home was when I was shipped off into banishment! That I'm a disgrace to my own race! NOW LET GO!"

With that said Zim bite down harshly onto Dib's wrist, smoothly breaking skin and drawing blood.

Dib hissed at the pain, clenching his eyes shut an trying to tear Zim away from his wrist. "ZIM!" He yelled before finally getting the alien off of him. He didn't even bother looking at the blood on his wrist, but kept his eyes on Zim instead. "Why do you even CARE about a planet that banished you, anyway?! Isn't that the VERY same planet that counts their Tallests as leaders? What do you care what they think!? They all -fucking suck-." Dib said, making his last words stick together. "Every last one of them, I'm sure! What the hell do they matter?"

"Don't insult my Tallests!" Zim yelled, spitting blood out of his mouth and clawing at Dib, aiming for his neck.

Dib grabbed his swiping furious wrist with one hand and yanked Zim closer with the other, hand around his back. "Why not? Haven't they done that enough with you?"

"They can do whatever they want! They're the Tallests! It is their right!" Zim yelled, struggling.

"I'm taller than you," Dib purposefully pulled him closer and towered over him. "And I may even be taller than them; I don't know..." He glared Zim straight through his eyes. "So doesn't that give me some rights to defend you and dis them? They were the ones who started all of this for you; not me. All of this, me caging you thing, it's what they've been doing this whole time sending you here, right? If you're going to yell at me and call me a bastard, you might as well do the same to them."

"They sent me here on a mission!" Zim said angrily, no longer having the energy to yell. "It is I who have betrayed them! Not the other way around!"

"Mission or no mission, you're still here, aren't you!? What could you- The Great Zim- have done to piss them off so bad!? You were more about taking over the world than I think I even was defending it!" He bitterly spat back.

"Try destroying half your planet and see what that gets you, human!" Zim yelled in his blinded anger, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide. That was the first time he'd ever admitted to having done wrong, that that was a bad thing. It was a little... depressing.

"Zim? You destroyed half of your own planet..?" Dib let go of the shorter green person and stared in question. "How?"

"It was an accident, alright?" Zim hissed, backing away and crossing his arms.

"You can accidentally destroy your own planet but you cant even--"

"Excuse me..?" Shelby squeezed through the door behind Dib, peaking before daring to step in. "D-Dib.. What are you doing here?" She could smell the tense air between them. "Um- well, um, like.. you're not suppose to be here, Dib.. You need to get changed in like.. your own room.." She held her head low as she skittishly moved around Dib to get to Zim.

Dib looked from her to Zim. He didn't have to look hard at her face at all to see the mascara that had been running along the sides of her cheeks.

"That's right Dib, in other words, beat it!" Zim all but yelled, putting both his hands on Dib's chest and pushing him out the door.

Dib stumbled back in shock, tripped over his feet, and fell outside the room as the door slammed loudly on him.

Shelby fidgeted with the top of her stunning pink dress, and looked over towards Zim. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No," Zim said, showing obvious annoyance. He turned to ask Shelby something before his face fell when he finally noticed Shelby's.

"What-what's wrong?" He asked, taking a step closer.

Shelby gave a broken smile grabbing hold of her outstretched elbow and giving it a slight rub. "Nothing, Zimma-dear! Nothing. So! Like- your wedding! Are you excited or what?! This is going to be great!" She gave a small squeal while turning around to fumble with imaginary paper on a table to hide her face from Zim. "By the way- I've heard nothing about your bride's maids.. what color are they wearing?"

Zim walked over to Shelby and tilted his head to get a good look at her face, saying, "It does not look like nothing." Completely ignoring her bride's maids question.

Shelby couldn't avoid Zim's caring stare. After a moment of her face breaking in front of Zim, she let herself drop to the floor to cry.

"Sh-Shelby?" Zim asked, getting on his knees and putting a hand on her shoulder.[/quote

The girl covered her face with her hands but leaned in to where she was slightly resting on Zim's chest. "I-I'm so- so so sorry.." she cried. "This is your wedding day and," sniff, "I'm, like, screwing it up.." Shelby nuzzled her face into Zim's chest.

"No, I've done that already," Zim said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "What happened?"

Shelby stayed quiet for a bit, even suffocating her own sniffles down. "He- He-- ... That guy I told you I was going to visit-" She broke out in a harder cry, wailing now. "-he- ..m He, he.. ...he.." She began hiccupping in her tears, loud crying noises still emitting from her.

"He what?" Zim asked, forgetting for a moment his own fear of skin to put a calming hand on Shelby's face. "Did he hurt you?"

Shelby shook her face in Zim's chest, hear crying becoming a little quieter than two seconds ago. "N-not really.. I-I-I mean, he-e tried.. but.. like.. ...He- He couldn't .. I .. I ran away... and.. he.. he had... he had hit me.. but not hard.. at all... and.. I.. I just ran.." She sniveled, confiding in this 'Zimma'.

"It's ok." Zim said, stroking Shelby's back soothingly. "Hey... Shelby?"

Shelby looked up at him, darker black streaks down her cheeks.

"Well," Zim said, looking off to the side, wondering if this would cheer Shelby up or put too much pressure on her. "I-I don't have a bride's maid... could, uh, could you do it?"

Shelby sniffled, and grinned. "Really? Really I can be one..?" She tightly clung onto Zim as a thanks. "I'd be honored! I'm like- Oh! I.. Don't have like, a brides made dress or anything!" She stood up, allowing herself to be distracted with the opportunity to be a bride's maid.

"The dress you're wearing is fine." Zim said with a smile. "But me, I have to get changed."

"Okay," Shelby sniffed into the back of her hand. "Then- then- let me set everything up.. and um.. Your bouquet should already be in here somewhere and.. um.. I'll.. .. I'll .. find something to do." She fidgeted before leaving the room slowly.

Zim nodded and started getting dress, pulling on the white underwear first and then the dress and gloves, admiring himself in the mirror. "Urgh, make up."

At that very moment, Dib was admiring himself in the mirror as well- fully dressed in his black, sharp tux. He leaned towards the mirror and took out his peircings. Some how, his face felt so empty, so lonely without the two thick glass lenses resting on his cheeks. He sighed, and placed his hand on the door. He stopped short, however in thought.

_'It's not even like I'm an alcoholic or anything... Zim's over __exadurating__He always over __exadurates_It bugged him that this thought was still eating at him. Perhaps he could go to the other room and get some rum? She shook his head. Perhaps Zim was right? Dib opened the door. But since when did an Irken have a heart? Though, he certainly had more than most hu--

"Whoa!" A girly voice shrieked behind the door.

Dib stepped out, shutting the door behind him to see a very disheveled wreck of a Shelby, freaking out about the door that almost hit her. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry." She quickly rushed off to the bathroom where she'd wash off the 'waterproof' smears on her face.

Dib just gave her a look and walked towards the back of the church where he noticed his Dad was standing with a couple of his lab monkeys. He inhaled as he walked over with a great big grin fakely plastered on his face. "Hello, Dad!"

"Hello son!" Membrane said in his usual exaggerated way. "It's the big day!"

Dib scratched behind his head, head lowered and letting a real, but small blush grace his cheeks. "Uh, yeah.. Yeah it is.."

"Nervous?" Membrane asked. "Don't get cold feat now."

Dib stepped out, shutting the door behind him to see a very disheveled wreck of a Shelby, freaking out about the door that almost hit her. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry." She quickly rushed off to the bathroom where she'd wash off the 'waterproof' smears on her face.

Dib just gave her a look and walked towards the back of the church where he noticed his Dad was standing with a couple of his lab monkeys. He inhaled as he walked over with a great big grin flakily plastered on his face. "Hello, Dad!"

"Hello son!" Membrane said in his usual exaggerated way. "It's the big day!"

Dib scratched behind his head, head lowered and letting a real, but small blush grace his cheeks. "Uh, yeah.. Yeah it is.."

"Nervous?" Membrane asked. "Don't get cold feat now."

Dib gave a nervous laugh. "Cold feet..." No, he must be past cold feet by this point. "I'm.. I'm fine.. but.. I am a little nervous I guess..."

"That's natural," Membrane said, patting his son on the back.

"I know," Dib shifted his feet. "Dad..? What was it like when you married Mom?" This was a tender topic, but he was curious anyway. Membrane never talked about the only woman he ever loved.

"It was... difficult, to say the least." Membrane said, smiling in a tender way. "She was so beautiful in that dress and all I wanted to do was bolt out of that church as fast as I could."

Dib's face twisted. "Daaaad, I didn't need to hear that part..."

Membrane only laughed and gave his son another pat on the back, saying, "You'll do fine! Don't worry about it!"

"Really...?" Dib looked up at his father with hope. "You really think so?" He didn't know why he was putting so much weight on this when, after all, this was a fake wedding, but it felt so important to him anyway.

"Of course, you are MY son after all." Membrane said.

"Thanks, Dad..." Dib stared at the ground, not at all happy thanks to the earlier argument.

"You had better finish getting ready, it's almost time," Membrane pointed out, tapping the watch on his wrist then walking over to the seats reserved for him and his co-workers.

Dib sighed. "Right." And left for a back room to get dressed.

It was time. The lights dimmed, candles were lit, roses were everywhere, and the famous wedding son began to play. Dib stood at the alter, holding his breath immediately at the music. Everybody in the crowd crook their heads to see where Zim would be coming out to find a very beautiful, refreshed Shelby proudly walking in front of the prized bride. The whole room stared, and Gaz put her game down to pull a video recorder up to use, perhaps, as blackmail, or perhaps as a nice memorial. Dib felt his stomach fall flat in his body, and his heart speed up. Suddenly, he was very unsure about this and wanted to dart before he saw him- Zim.

Zim felt like he was going to puke. Not in that disgusted way though, in that 'everyone is about to be staring at me' way. He took a deep breath before moving down the isle, a bouquet of roses in hand.

The crowd began whispering to one another, remarking on how this 'Zimma' looked. Dib couldn't hear, however. Instantly after seeing Zim, everybody else ceased to exist but him and Zim. Zim was gorgeous, flowers in hand, a flower in his wig... the dress complimented his girly frame perfectly, and drew out what was most luscious about his green skin. Dib must have held his breath for a minute and forty seconds before remembering that he had to breath, and thus, did so. But... Zim looked so perfect at this moment, coming closer to him one step at a time, slowly, slowly, slowly...

Zim finally reached the front and stood in front of Dib, his eyes everywhere but on the human.

Dib was totally awestruck staring at the other. The preacher talked but Dib couldn't help but bend forwards a little bit to whisper to Zim "You're gorgeous.."

Zim looked up at Dib, slightly shocked by this comment. "Th-thanks," He whispered back.

The preacher cleared his throat, clearly upset that he had been interrupted by the young couple, and continued.

Zim blushed and looked down at his bouquet.

The preacher blabbered on, but neither Zim nor Dib were paying attention to him. "Zimma? Zimma, I said you should say your vows." The preacher scolded.

Zim only blushed more and opened his mouth to say his rehearsed vows, but nothing would come out. He froze almost completely. How could he say these things. He didn't feel that way at all about Dib so how could he say them?

Zim only blushed more and opened his mouth to say his rehearsed vows, but nothing would come out. He froze almost completely. How could he say these things. He didn't feel that way at all about Dib so how could he say them?

Dib noted Zim's pause. Zim looked so vulnerable at the moment, so out of place. Why the hell did he look so nervous, and why did Dib himself feel so nervous? But Zim, though... He really did look beautiful... Dib's brain kicked in. "I'll.. I'll go first." He cleared his throat, taking out his so-called perfect written vow.

Zim looked up but only slightly in a silent 'thank you'.

Dib looked down at the paper, and began speaking firmly, projecting his voice so all corners of the crowd could hear. "Zimma, since the day I met you, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I find that when I stare into your eyes, I loose myself in their color and--" Dib stopped. Something seemed to catch his throat and he looked up at Zim. He looked back at the paper and frustratedly crunched it into a paper wad that he tossed over his shoulder. He then gave Zim a very firm look, and held onto his shoulders and proceeded to speak in a soft voice meant only for the other. "Listen... I didn't know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you when I met you.. In fact, I was pretty sure that was the last thing from my mind when I met you... But.. oddly enough; yes, I do want to spend the rest of my life with you... I wont lie... But I'm obsessed about you.(cont.)

You are my nights, my days, and my everything in-between. You.. you make me stronger... .. and.. you actually give a damn about me... and that means so much.. and.. and I care about you, too.. I am pretty weak but.. but that's okay when I'm around you because... I feel like you can make me good again and still really know who I am.."

Zim looked up a little more, unsure of what all of that really meant. Was Dib putting on a show of romance, or did he mean it? Zim mentally shook that off, ready to say his own vows... but they wouldn't come. Zim sighed, deciding to wing it.

"I-" He spoke quietly. "I- wish I could say the same... but I can't... not really. I mean, if I could chose anyone on Earth to spend the rest of my life with... it would be you... you are the only one who understands me, and could hope to equal me, and for that I admire, and even kind of respect you." He gave Dib a meaningful look. "Don't lose that."

Dib stared down at Zim and found his hands slowly clasped Zim's that were surrounded around a bouquet.

"Zimma? Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband through sickness and through health?"

Zim nodded and mouthed the two words that needed to be said to this, looking down once more.

"And do you, Dib, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife through sickness and through health?"

Dib nodded, keeping his eyes on Zim. "I do."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride."

At this point, Dib felt the heat of everybody's eyes on him even more as he pulled himself down to Zim's lips, lightly touching them with his own, hoping to whatever god looking down at them that Zim would kiss back.

Zim did kiss back, pressing his lips fully against Dib's, knowing everyone expected a romantic show.

Maybe it was just a human thing, but when Zim kissed Dib back, nothing else mattered, once again like after Zim first stepped into the room. Dib responded to the kiss for a while before pulling back and resting his forehead on the other's, the crowd chitchatted idly.

"What now?" Zim asked quietly.

"I think we're suppose to get off the stage and talk or something..." Dib mumbled quietly, a little out of it at the moment.

"After you," Zim teased, trying to calm himself down.

Dib smiled weakly and removed his forehead from Zim's to take him off the alter with him by hand. Surprisingly, though, not as many eyes were on them as he had thought. They were all too busy talking.

Zim followed closely, his eyes moving all over the isles self consciously.

Nobody, not a soul in the room aside from Shelby who just sprinted up to them before leaving, congratulated them. Dib sighed. "Let's go eat cake.." And with that, he began directing Zim to the back.

Zim thanks Shelby and followed, asking, "How much longer do we have to be here?"

Dib shrugged. "Eat cake, throw the bouquet, talk to anybody wanting to talk to us, and then we're off to our 'honey moon'."

"Yay, a week in a hotel room with you." Zim said, none too enthusiastic.

"Could you sound any more excited?" Dib asked sharply but quietly as they stepped into the back room where a long table was set up with food all on it.

"Could this be any more exciting?" Zim countered just as sharply and just as quietly.

"I don't know. Maybe if we tried." Dib grumbled, going over to one of the two chair at the head of the table and sitting.

"If you say so," Zim said, sitting down.

Dib just sat there at the lonely table with Zim. A weird angry silence filled the air between them. Dib sighed. "You're not still mad at me for the bottle, are you? I'm telling you, I just forgot to put it away."

Zim sighed and looked at the cake, shaking his head and saying, "No, I'm not mad anymore... I'm just," HE shivered. "I don't like how your dad keeps looking at me, it's just creeping me out, that's all. I'll be able to relax once we're out of here."

Dib gave Zim a concerned look. "He hasn't mentioned anything about your skin today, and I kind of doubt that he- ... No, no, you look, dare I say it, 'pretty' right now... so I wouldn't be too surprised with him creeping you out there but... You should be fine."

"Yeah, I know." Zim said with a sigh. "It's just creepy."

Dib sighed, elbows on the table. Nobody was coming in. Did they even care? "I thought we did good..."

"ME too," Zim said , holding his arms as if he was cold. "Let's just get out of here then."

Dib sighed, feeling defeated. "Okay.." He stood up and turned around to see his sister enter. "Hey, Gaz."

"Hey," Gaz said, grabbing Dib by the front of his tux. "I need to talk to you about something." And with that she dragged Dib off to a separate room.

Dib looked from Zim was to Gaz. "What is it?"

Gaz stopped and turned around, giving Dib her usual uncaring glare as she said, "You need to be careful."

"What do you mean...?" Dib asked, slightly intimidated, however use he was to Gaz' glare.

"Just be careful, alright? He knows." Was all Gaz said before walking away.

* * *

Zim/Gaz/Membrane: MEH!

Dib/Shelby/Everyone else: TSI BABEH!

Review please and tell us how we did!


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